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renee:
Hi Flower,

Are you the Renee that posted on "What bait does your N use?" and others

It's a different Renee. I guess I should have officially logged in, but no matter. I'm pretty much just looking these days...I haven't posted in quite a while since the board got kind of violated for a while. So the recent Renee isn't me  :)

Renee

renne:
Thanks for all of the good, concrete advice.  In many ways I am blessed that the children and I have our own life and home seperate from the NPD husband, as he has been working out of the country for over a decade.  He is not part of our community, has no access to my computer, mail or financial records.  I have always handled all of that sort of "grown-up" stuff anyway, as he was/is too busy with his very special life to be bothered with the mundane.

My biggest concern is the psycholgical health of the four children (ages 20, 17, 14 & 12).  How do I mitagate his NPD effecting them?  How much do I tell them?  They used to worship him, which he loved of course, but now that the bubble has burst, things are probably going to change quickly.  These are great, loving kids and I want them to stay healthy!

Anonymous:

--- Quote from: renne ---My biggest concern is the psycholgical health of the four children (ages 20, 17, 14 & 12).  How do I mitigate his NPD effecting them?  How much do I tell them?  They used to worship him, which he loved of course, but now that the bubble has burst, things are probably going to change quickly.  These are great, loving kids and I want them to stay healthy!
--- End quote ---


I'd tell them that there are problems that can't be fixed and it has nothing to do with them. If they ask outright whether dad has been unfaithful you can tell them that your problems in the marriage were adult problems and the children have every right to be angry that the adults didn't work out the problems. I don't think children need to know the nitty-gritty of their parents' private lives. But they may need to know something, otherwise they blame themselves.

bunny

flower:

--- Quote from: renee ---Hi Flower,

Are you the Renee that posted on "What bait does your N use?" and others

It's a different Renee. I guess I should have officially logged in, but no matter. I'm pretty much just looking these days...I haven't posted in quite a while since the board got kind of violated for a while. So the recent Renee isn't me  :)

Renee
--- End quote ---


Hi Renee from before. Good to hear from you. The board was kind of wild there for awhile. Hope to hear  more from you if you get the notion to post.  :)

flower:

--- Quote from: renne ---

My biggest concern is the psycholgical health of the four children (ages 20, 17, 14 & 12).  How do I mitagate his NPD effecting them?  How much do I tell them?  They used to worship him, which he loved of course, but now that the bubble has burst, things are probably going to change quickly.  These are great, loving kids and I want them to stay healthy!
--- End quote ---


My only idea is for you to keep the lines of communication open with your children and use your discernment to calmly give them understanding that they are ready for. Maybe a counselor experienced in this area could meet with you and your children to help you work things out.

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