Author Topic: got laid off Thursday  (Read 1902 times)

towrite

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got laid off Thursday
« on: September 14, 2008, 09:06:25 AM »
After 4 mos. on the job, working 6 days a week by demand, I found this was perhaps the WORST job I'd ever had. The army on one side making demands, the company on the other pressuring me, the teachers on the third side, calling HR "like they had 'em on speed dial" with complaints about me, I had legit complaints against all of them for harrassment and bullying. Then my boss was suddenly down with a 6-way bypass and his boss came into the picture. He was better - logical, fair - and saw the tactics immediately and the failures of his subordinate with me and my position. I'd never been given a job description, no policies and procedures, the whole place was chaotic with me running from one group to the next, trying to make everyone happy. The new boss called it "a cat fight". He said I had been severely disadvantaged by not being given the info to do my job - that means his subordinate - bypasses or not - had set me up to fail. I began not sleeping, waking at 5 in the a.m. shaking at the thought of going to work, doubling my Cymbalta just to get through a day. The new boss wanted to keep me, but the army insisted on someone with a military background. Since this was a contract, the army was the customer and the new boss had to please them. So he replaced me with one of the trouble-making hotheads in the teaching ranks. He may make the army happy by kissing up, but the rest of the staff will be up sh** creek with him in charge. Now, the good news - I am so happy to be out of there. That place was a snakepit. My body was breaking down under the stress and for the past 3 days, I've done nothing but rest. I guess my body had to go down as I let down, as I've come down with a virus, but I can feel the stress beginning to let go.

This job was so hard to find - took 12 months - that I am due for an easy one. Maybe that's pie-in-the-sky kind of thinking, but life can't be this hard forever, right? "Cept for Hops - for whom I have great admiration for your strength and courage in the midst of your mud-slinging family, unable to accept anyone different from them because they're so scared of life. Yuk, Hops. Give it back to them in spades - stand your ground and you won't lose yourself. That's the attitude I'm taking.

When I was finally diagnosed with PTSD, I began to realize that my frustration was so easily triggered that sometimes it sabotages me. I couldn't heal, not under the kind of stress I experienced in that job. My therapist said I had so much trauma from my early life and the very people who caused the trauma continued to take pokes at me. Do you experience that, Hops? Anyone?

Now I am sleeping a bit better, tho' I expect it will be sometime before my sleep hours get fully stretched out to 8 hrs. At least I felt like doing a few things yesterday, despite this rhinovirus - made a crab casserole and the most delicious wasabi coleslaw ever. Haven't yet felt like tackling setting my new house in order - lingering in the back of my mind is the thought that I may lose this one, too.
"An unexamined life is a wasted life."
                                  Socrates
Time wounds all heels.

Izzy_*now*

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Re: got laid off Thursday
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2008, 12:58:29 PM »
Hi towrite

Being laid off sounds good under these circumstances, eh?

Now you can collect EI, (after 4 months?) can rest, lose the stress (butcha ya got sick...stress'll do that) rest, see a therapist, rest, work on the house, rest, and then begin job searching again?

Sounds like a good job to leave.

so much trauma from my early life and the very people who caused the trauma continued to take pokes at me

Did you get rid of them? Same thiing with me and I now call them all toxic and have no contact.

Yep, an attitude, like Hops' will be a good one to get the adrenaline flowing so you can attack life.

Please don't think gloomily about losing your house. 'We bring what we think'...I just made that up, I think

Good Luck, and Rest
Izzy
"The joy of love lasts such a short time, but the pain of love lasts one's whole life"

Gaining Strength

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Re: got laid off Thursday
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2008, 12:59:46 PM »
My heart ached when I saw the title of your thread and felt pummeled when I read your post.  That is too much to bear.  My life after my son was born and my husband died was much like that.  Within the next year, a bizarre failure of my roof/gutter system sent water down a brick wall that washed out the morter and sent water slowly leaking inside the wall into the basement resulting in a devastating problem of mold that cost over $35,000 to clean up (not yet built interior walls or ceiling back), then my non-profit strained under the economic conditions of 9-11 and had to close - (my income and my husbands incomes GONE with 18 months)  Then there were HUGE debts associated with the mess my husband had left - too many and too complicated to describ but they were revealed one at a time and noone - not my Wharton School MBAed brother nor my attorney brother and sister-in-law nor anyone would help me figure out what to do - except my attorney who was incompetent with a good reputation - meanwhile my husbands older children (who got all the life insurance and a $350,000 building) started suing me for the meager furnishings left behind.  Then I had a horrid reaction to anti-depressants and another medication which sent me into a manic state and my one of th people in my social group shut me out and encouraged the others to do so too.  Then my family and a few other friends had an intervention and tried to take my child away.  Nevermind that NONE of them consulted my psychiatrist nor my psychologist who intervened with them on my behalf and I called in the police to get my child back. ( Wish I had charged them with kidnapping.)  All of this happened within 18 months beginning in July of 2001.  (And those are just the highlights - there is more.)

The real message I want to get to is that I was reduced to a wretch, barely able to crawl, barely able to get one foot in front of another.  What I learned about that is that the lower you are the more you get kicked.  I got kicked and kicked and kicked along the way but I never gave up and while I still have a long way to go I am so close to getting my head above water.

The ultimate message I want to give you is to focus on what you have done for yourself.  Focus on what you have.  Turn your thoughts away from fearing loss of your home and focus on how you have pulled yourself out of the mire from living with your so-called friend and having no job.  YOU WILL get a BETTER job.  You will KEEP your house.  When fear hits you make yourself look for the true achievements that you have made in spite of the horrendous difficulties you have experienced.  Keep you mental and emotional support for yourself.  You do not have nor have ever had your mother or your brother behind you cheering and encouraging.  You can now do that for yourself and find people like me who will support and encourage you.

ToWrite - very, very few people could have gotten that job in th condition you were in.  You did it and now you are in a slightly better place.  You can get a better job in a much better atmosphere.  You deserve it and you can do it.  I want you to believe that.  That is the first step - to believe.

My heart is with you and I believe for you.

I have missed you and was so glad to see you posting but sorry for the reason.  You know I have always been a great supporter of yours.  I feel a real connection to you and believe in you.

teartracks

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Re: got laid off Thursday
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2008, 01:59:59 PM »




Towrite,

So sorry you got cut.  Having that happen to perfectly good employees who have a good work ethic seems so unfair.  Being out of work just turns a life upside down.   

Hope to hear from you as you bear up and as you go searching for the next job.  I hope it will be a dream job, well run, good management, wholesome and fair minded fellow workers with whom you and they share a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

I hope the in between jobs time,  is one of refreshment.

tt

 

ann3

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Re: got laid off Thursday
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2008, 03:21:10 PM »
Dear Towrite,

So sorry to hear this.  Rest & get better.

When you feel better, could you ask yourself "what have I learned from this experience?"

When there's vipers in the pit, run the other way?  Put on anti-snake bite boundaries?  Ask the vipers for clarification re: job duties?  I don't know.

As bad as this experience was, I feel there was a positive lesson here, but I'm not sure what it is.  Perhaps you were conscious of the viper's negativity while this was occurring, so you're storing these lessons somewhere in your mind, so next time you encounter a viper, you will zig when they zag?

I feel you will emerge stronger after this experience, that you will gather yourself and get back on the horse & find a situation of compassionate, loving people.

Although I have not read the Secret, I found this video to be very energizing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXqzRulbMyU

Love to you,
ann

towrite

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Re: got laid off Thursday
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2008, 04:12:10 PM »
Good God, SS. As my grandmother used to say, "I complained about having no shoes til I met a woman who had no feet." Jeez Louise ---- that is absolutely the worst gutter I've heard of in a long time that human beings can sink down to. You can't help but be a stronger person. Your quote below is something I hadn't thought of. Thank you thank you - I know you are a great supporter of mine and I am so grateful for it and you.

- very, very few people could have gotten that job in th condition you were in.  You did it and now you are in a slightly better place.  You can get a better job in a much better atmosphere.  You deserve it and you can do it.  I want you to believe that.  That is the first step - to believe.

My heart is with you and I believe for you.

I have missed you and was so glad to see you posting but sorry for the reason.  You know I have always been a great supporter of yours.  I feel a real connection to you and believe in you.
[/quote]


It's weird, how I feel since I walked out the door of that snake pit. For some reason I'm not terrified or particularly worried about getting another job. I do feel another is going to come down the pike and it's going to be better in ALL ways than that terrible experience. I am surprised when I catch myself thinking positively - I am so shocked that I am not a sniveling mess - this is new for me, not being terrified. But I am going with it, I am going to embrace it, and I am going to believe. Thank you again, sugar - you have no idea what your words mean to me.
"An unexamined life is a wasted life."
                                  Socrates
Time wounds all heels.

Gaining Strength

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Re: got laid off Thursday
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2008, 06:57:26 PM »
What a miracle that you feel relief without the fear. 

Now, after working hard to uncover what went on in my family, I can see that my father actually taught me to be anxious.  If I wasn't anxious and he was he would quietly rage at me with a clenched jaw until I was anxious.  A few years back I realized that if everything was ok then my mind would race through its memory like a radar in search of something wrong.  I would find it and then obsess about it.  Talk about a negative thinker.  I actually sought out negative or critical things.  Believe it or not I was raised to do that.  So now it takes much more effort to do the opposite but it is well worth it.

ToWrite - Listen - I don't have shoes and I'm still complaining about it.  I have often thought of you as the footless and me as the complaining shoeless.  Bad is Bad and we both got bad.  But I'm determined to see forward to the good.  It has helped me so far and I am counting on it to help me much, much more.  I'm so glad you can see some positive in where you are.  I am shouting for joy that you "feel another is going to come down the pike and it's going to be better." 

The last thing i will leave you with is this:  When you catch yourself thinking positively - do it more.  When you find yourself thinking negatively call it a lie and replace it with a positive thought - even if it seems crazy.  That can do amazing thinks for changing your thought patterns.

I'm thinking about you. - SS

gratitude28

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Re: got laid off Thursday
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2008, 06:39:30 AM »
((((((((((((((towrite))))))))))))

It is funny how we change as we heal too. I always wanted one of those jobs when I was younger - demanding, exciting, etc. I have no need for that and all the bullshit that goes along with it anymore. It is just a big ego stroke-fest. I think we are better staying out of that pit and letting them have all their sick fun.

You did the right thing - you tried your best. I guess this is one of those times when you are grateful it didn't work out :) I know the feeling of being scared to go to work everyday. Who should live like that???? It will take a little while for that feeling to subside, so take it easy.

Lots of love,
Beth
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams

Ami

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Re: got laid off Thursday
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2008, 07:23:43 PM »
(((((((((((((towrite))))))))
I am thinking of you, Kate.      Love   Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung