Hello Esteemed Hoppy-
Talk about the hobgoblins of small minds!!!!!Your daughter's expressions on the web are not dirty- perhaps indiscreet, but meant to hurt no one. Viciousness intended to damage innocents- that is dirty. She is a grown woman and what she does is her business (though this web thing can be problematic) This is the United States and thankfully we do not observe Sharia law here- women are are not chattel who can offend and be punished by their male relatives if there is some sort of addled perception of a female damaging the familial honor! Did her uncle pay for her college and grad school and living expenses, and spend countless hours lovingly communing with her as she grew up? Even if he did he should pipe down, and if not he needs to shut his stinking pie hole and get to work, instead of constantly plotting and grasping to get ahead on the backs of female relatives.
If anyone is supporating with filth, it is your daughter's twisted uncle- as you pointed out, the obsession with controlling the conduct of others through religion so often masks the shameful conduct of the truly perverse. It is more than creepy that your brother got so worked up and obsessed with the web chat he ferreted out- even if he thinks that he can use it as a red herring in order to take the court and your support system off the track of the truth and a just settlement of the issues, even so- it is downright yucky. What a tragic and miserable sort of soul he is. Unlike a real man, who seeks to make something of himself and help and defend his family, he somehow feels that his only way of surviving is to prey upon women, with tricks and connivances - he is less than half a man. I wish that he would cherish and help you and your mother, but that is not the reality here- and you can handle this and him, as you are so smart and strong, thank goodness (and you have so much goodness about you, Hoppy)
Sorry Dear One. But this new ploy may well backfire, and the clearing out of any tenuous support may well keep you from falling into a trap or wasting your time and sincere efforts on the unworthy (though I know in your kind heart and gentle nature no one is truly unworthy) The truth will out- Those who love you will not cling to hypocritical illusions about themselves and others, and will rally to your side- it is better to have a few or even one true person as your counsel and support than a crowd of "simpering sycophants" professing devotion...You can continue to care for the deluded types, but only count on those who truly love and support you Hoppy Wise Woman. You are so kind that you hate to write anyone off, and try to live in peace and affection with all...But guard your heart and security- that is one of our adult tasks, to face our reality clearly and still embrace our lives and loves...
It seems that your brother senses his position is weakening as far as the court case is concerned, and that you have not crumbled as he thought you would, so he is desperately trying more idiotic and unworthy schemes (so unmanly, almost like a spoiled junior high school girl who wants to be a cheerleader trying to destroy her rival), hoping to drag your daughter into the mud. Abusers typically attack the things that one values the most.This will ultimately not work, but I am saddened that you have been subjected to these sorts of pathetic and disgusting tricks in the interim. I am almost sorry for him- what a wreckage he is... But he is not doing what is right, and the best thing for him would be to stop all of this nonsense and beg your forgiveness...
My Dear Wise Hoppy- you are so loved and have done so much good in the world. Except for the hurt you mother may feel about being exposed to this tempest in a teapot ( though I think anything truly hurtful will be kept from her) hopefully this is just a distasteful episode which I think will fade completely from any but the most feeble of minds. Sorry you have been hurt- hope you do nice things for yourself and your daughter, and stay close to your friends and loved ones. You are precious!
Love From Your Friend,
Changing