Feeling Vindictive

[gjazz]

OK, overcomer.  I hear you.  So, the goal of trying to hurt the one who has hurt you is pointless.  A non-starter.  Probably true for many of us here.  In other words, if you keep fighting that same battle you're just a moth against the lightbulb, and who wants to be that?  So I can only wish you good luck moving on.  I sincerely hope you walk away.  Make your life your own.  And embrace, if you must (as I did) that one of the things making that hard is that once you've walked away, there's nobody left to blame but yourself when things go wrong.  And that's a powerful, good thing.

[gratitude28]

gjazz, what awesome words!!! You are so right! We need to leave it be. It is hard to do, but it is what it is.
Love, Beth

[gjazz]

I think what was hard for me on one level was that when we have an all-powerful parent figure who has dedicated him- or herself (consciously or not) to at least some level of destruction, it's perfectly natural that that dynamic comes to define us.  When we leave, we lose that "safety net," which of course was never safe in the first place, but it was "home."  It was recognizable and familiarity, even when it's a nightmare situation, is comforting on some level.  So it's a scary leap into self-determination.