AH!
The Collapse
The punch in the gut!
We all might have our own terms for that... because I recognize the dynamic and what I have called it is that 'I could feel myself from the outside be pulled into my centre and end up as a helpless little ball sourrounded by an otherwise empty body'., and I would be speechless.: at a total loss for words to defend myself.
I felt that from my father's rages, so it began back then and anytime in the following years, if that happened, I recognized it as something I had lived with for many years.
I felt it from my son-in-law's rages and obvious dislike for me, and I had no words to say.
I felt it from the N's rages that 'went on forever' until I could hear only the noise, not the words, and I had no words.
Since I've put me together, the best way I can, I have avoided anyone of that rageful nature and I also know what I would do. I would speak up for myself and against that person, or I would leave the room---that is hard to do in a wheelchair--I know from experience how I cannot leave quickly and close a door on the offender... grab my crutches and walk down steps and drive away, in a snap!
Yep I can see that what I felt was a 'collapse'.... within me