Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
1st post - Does the N in your life have "friends"?
CC:
Dear Maddog,
Your post made me laugh out loud. I am certainly not making fun of the pain that comment must have caused you, but thanks for the grins. So how does it feel to be retarded? :lol: Amazing the things the Ns come up with. Hugs
MADDOG:
:lol:
CC: Listen. I've had to laugh in order not to cry to finally be able to let myself off m N mom's hook. So no, I can't blame you at all for laughing. I literally could/may write a book on being raised by her. I'm just thankful to know that it's so her, and not me. She's a real trip and the only one who doesn't know it!! :oops:
Looking forward to sharing with you again!
Cathi:
Maddog:
My brother is mentally retarded. He was braindamaged at birth. Sometimes I wonder...Anyway, Nmom constantly used to throw in my face that it could've been me. I think she wished it was. I, like,you, thought about writing a book. Then I thought better of it. Who would want to read about all that pain?
Cathi
MADDOG:
Cathi, yes my N mom caused me a lot of pain, but looking back on it now I see how "retarded" her own behavior was and it is downright hysterically funny some of the things she did/does. I have also distanced myself 500 miles from her, so granted, I don't have to see her except on occasion, but do hear from her quite often by phone. When I can come up with some good examples of the riduculous stuff she put me and my sister through, I will share more! :wink:
Tinkergirl:
hi maddog, welcome!
reading all the responses has really opened my eyes to the spectrum of bizarre 'friendships' and N can define in her life. my mother is absolutely swarming with 'friends' who are seemingly oblivious to the fact that everything is all about her. or they just think it is part of her personality, and they admire it because my mother chooses 'friends' who are very very dependent on her enthusiasm for herself. she has severely overweight friends (my mom is anorexic), she has divorced, co-dependent friends who admire her sexual exuberance (fueled by unchecked ego), very elderly neighbors (who can't thank her enough for all the attention she gives them), and gay men (who think she is just the ultimate in arm candy). and she will tell you how much she is loved by each and every one of them.
funny part is, all of her close family relationships are horribly riddled with problems...those who really know her best behind closed doors do not admire let alone respect this N monster who has no capacity for empathy.
her children have cut off and/or distanced themselves from her, her husband has imploded into a silent workaholic, her in-laws dislike her and in fact shun her from events, she doesn't speak with her brother....etc. to me this is the telltale sign that the N gains her fuel and momentum from those 'friends' who know her when she is on her best behavior at lunch, the movies, or quick visits. these are the same friends who have assured her she has been the best mother she could be, and how could she have such an ungrateful daughter (me) for cutting her out of my life? they are all accomplices in this wicked N game they play. take care.
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