"It'll be the last thing you ever do"

[Anonymous]

Just wondered if anyone else was subject to similiar comments like this.

Usually my Nmother would say it so that I would shut up and to stop me asking questions. a conversation stopper, by way of a death threat.

of course if you spoke up and said that you were threatened to be killed you would just be made to feel silly. really it's just your mother saying nasty things again. the content didn't matter after a while. same sitaution different words.

I know that even as a child, I didn't really think it was a serious threat it was just another example of her making me feel a certain way with a throway comment. you know how it goes. a comment to maker her feel better, to stop her pain of having to answer to somebody ie her own child .. when obviously she had no answer to give as she lives throughlessly. ie without thought.

(or was I unable to process that kind of thing correctly as a child? I know mothers saying that kind of thing to their children may be quite common - I once saw/heard a woman on the street say "come here or I'll strangle you" or something like that. If she had said it to an adult she could have been arrested. but to most people even most witnesses of this .. it's a natural comment that a parent would make, justified by ... we all know that kids are a handful etc...)

I would be interested to hear of other's thoughts on this. Was anyone else subject to similar comments (ie your life was threatened)?
what's your perspective on that being said to a child?

[Portia]

The most effective line mine used when I cried in public:

STOP HUMILIATING ME!

Effective coz a temper-tantrum toddler has NO IDEA what it means. Interesting to remember, coz it’s…wait for it….all about her! Ta dah.

How about "if you don't stop we'll leave you at the police station"? Would they have ever come to take me back?

Yeah: "if you don't stop, I'll leave you here". That's a death threat to a toddler, a real one.

[Anonymous]

At 17 years of age - already graduated HS, Nmom found a carton of cigs in my suitcase as I was preparing for a trip away with friends. She went through the bag at 1:00am and grabbed me out of bed, threw me on the sofa, shoved the carton in my face, scratched my face a few  times and threatened to make me eat every cig in the box for disgracing HER. At that moment I didn't know anything about nicotine poisoning, doubt that she did either. But for the first time in my life I stared her down and told her to go ahead and kill me if that was her intent - that I was sick of her threats and didn't want to go through another day with her. She threw the carton in the wood stove and burnt it - this was the middle of June in the south. She made me sit and watch her burn them - like it had any affect on me. All I thought of was getting to the store to buy more cause I really needed a smoke at that moment.

Ndad beat the sheeat out of me at 14 and because I cried loudly, he put my head under a faucet with the cold water on full blast. He held my head there and told me he would not let me up until I stopped crying. After I realized he meant business and would not let up, I forced myself to stop crying - fear took over.

I never doubted my Nparents threats of killing me for embarrassing them. I knew they would follow threw.

It's such a scrary thing when you are young and you know that the folks who are raising you would rather kill you than let you embarrass them, but it's a real situation. AND at that time, there was no such thing as parents accused of child abuse for 'punishing' their child.

[Ellie]

oops  

That was me - Ellie. Forgot to log in.

[Discounted Girl]

I recall an event when I was about, I think, 14. I had gone with a young people's church group to the lake for a swim party. It was during the summer and the church lady (not Dana Carvey **snicker) picked us up, about 6 of us, and off we went. The NQueenmother asked me when I was coming back and I said about 3:00 I guess. I had no idea, and when you are 14, what do you care? If she was interested, she should have asked the lady picking me up or told me to go out and ask. Anyhow, we got back home and I was dropped off by the same car in front of our house at 4:00. You have to remember that was before cell phones and it was a public lake without pay phones. Well, when I came in the house all holy hell broke loose. She was screaming and yelling about how she thought I might have drown, bla bla bla; just chewing me up. Well, I finally broke down and told her to leave me alone and I wished I was dead. She got real quiet, went right to the phone and called my Dad at work and told him what I said. He came home from work right away, really angry with me and told me he heard I wished I was dead and he was there to help me get my wish !!! I have never forgotten that and always wondered why he made such a huge deal out of what I said but yet he never stopped her from picking on me my whole life. I truely don't remember what happened after that, but daily I marvel that I am not in a psycho ward somewhere.

[Jenocidal]

My sociopathic nmother, when she was angry or I somehow was challenging her fragile world - she would tell me "I brought you into this world - I can take you out of it too" or "if you don't stop this (whatever thing she was pissed at at the moment) your gonna drive my boyfriend away" or another one of her's she used a lot was "you're acting just like your aunt (whom she deamed unstable)" - that was supposed to show me how "irrational" I was being/acting, to stifle me. Another one I remember clearly was if I pissed my nmother off somehow, as a child, my mother would beat me, then threaten to send me away with social workers if I didn't stop crying.

[Cj]

(freaking out like a crazy woman) I'm going to run away!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i.e. if you don't behave).

I'd say that's slightly close to death, considering I couldn't have coped without her as I was only kid. Nor could my grandfather probably haha.

One I recalled recently...actually it took me a while to actually confirm in my mind she had said it, and I still waver....

Don't you EVER defy me!! (sad little woman, god she seemed to powereful at the time in that powerless frustrated little tyrant mode)

Yeh Portia, I also remember my mother shoutiong at me in a rage, after leaving a shop with her once as a kid (I don't recal what happended exactly), strming along the street telling me how I had made her look like a 'prick'.


D.G. when I was around 22 ish I recall leaving the house one morning and not saying goodbye to my mother (I was only going to the bloody shops) (who always had know where I was etc, actually, its a sad little trademark of my household, everyone always knows where everyone is, fucking pathetic, well not with me anymore mind you...). She just happened to being going shopping as well, hmmm, and bumped into me with that worry/scowl on her face, telling me 'You could have been gone (left home) and I wouldn't have known about it!' (all this, no doubt, because I had 'abandoned' her (unspoken)by living at my gf's a few weeks earlier, having moved back)