I don't know if this will be helpful or not; it made a big difference for me.
I realized somewhere along the way on the self-sabotage thread that a projection is just a projection... a light-show of images that AREN'T REAL (or in this case, beliefs - attitudes - emotions) and that, since it wasn't ME.... I didn't even have to deal with it.
All I needed to do was separate what was me - my emotions, beliefs, habits and attitudes about myself - from what was projected into/onto me. Create a mental/emotional boundary between me and the projection, in other words. I have to own what's mine (like the smoking)... but the other stuff? that's not really me/mine? Nope; I don't even have to pay any attention to it. And the LESS attention I pay it, the LESS significance I attach to it... the less it affects me and that gives me more time, energy, and clear thinking to address the stuff I do own.
Admittedly, this is an intellectual construct (and probably self-deception - but what the hell, if it works, ya know). And for sure, it's still a work in progress... separating me from the projection... but I've had amazing relief from the torment, the overwhelming emotions, I feel in control of me - and yes, even the habits - than I've been able to achieve even as recently as last month.
It does mean that I have to listen closely to my thoughts - and even my feelings - for what is really me and what is just the familiar projection that - for so long - I thought was me. A lot of the discomfort and anger/rage I experienced was generated, I believe, as unconscious resistance against the projected self-iimage/emotions. The inner self saying - hey wait just one minute!! THAT'S not me! How DARE YOU?! Can't you SEE who I am?????
Well, no. The person projecting doesn't even KNOW they are doing this; they can't see anyone else because their reality is filled up with the thing that has to be "gotten rid of"... something that can't be accepted as themselves. As if this "something" is a tarantula that they're plucking off and they don't really care (or are aware of) where it lands - just as long as it's NOT on them. They'll never take it back - they're just so relieved that someone else "owns" the tarantula.
Something I'm just starting to see, is that it's not really a tarantula. It's just a fuzzy pom-pom. Harmless, but still fear-inducing. But, I'm not all the way there yet.
In my case, I'd been raised without the basic boundary of [ME: not you]. I've been working on boundaries for a year or two now. It was STILL a freeing, surprising revelation to know that I could create a boundary between the "real me" and what I was told I was and what was projected onto me. And that the territory I claimed as "me" - or could claim - was a lot more extensive, verdant, and valuable than I originally thought.