GS: It never ceases to amaze me how parallel our lives are.....What you said in your opening post in this thread reasonated with me. I finally figured it out. My nmom projects onto me the very worst in herself. She also labels me as part my dad so anything she hates about him, she projects on me as well.
As a youngster I was full of life. A very busy little girl. From the git go she tried to hold me down. I realize now that she was trying to be a parent in some way but it all came out punitively......I can only imagine that her parents used the shame game on her..........SHAME ON YOU BETH!! SHAME ON YOU KELLY!! Not only is that shaming but it is also like a curse..............."I am putting shame on you!!!"
Couple that with the "I AM THE IMPORTANT ONE AND NO ONE SHOULD TAKE MY LIMELIGHT AWAY FROM ME!" Narcissistic Personality Disorder that my mom has, and the weight of her disapproval and one up man ship and it was a hard pit to climb out of.
What I have done first was blow up (yes, it made her think I was even more unstable than she thought.....) but it was my way of setting REAL boundaries. Then this whole escape from mom job search which lasted years..............I finally feel good about myself.......tired and achy but I know it is all about me and my journey to get out of the miry clay my mom put my feet in as a young girl.......
Unlocking those brain functions is hard.......but identifiying the lies is the first step in eliminating them...
