Sam Vaknin on the circuit

[Onyx]

I Don't 'f'ing well believe it!! In my daily posts from Sam the man at narsissiticabuse.com, up pops their latest wheeze to extract the piss.....sorry, you're money!

In early November this year, they're holding a conference to discuss Narcissism and Narcissistic abuse. Sam and his cronies, sorry.....Marketing Team (Narcissisticabuse.com) are holding it! And guess what, it's going to cost between $200 and $250 per head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am absolutely gobsmacked with this one!!!!

So every member of the aforementioned support (don't make me laugh) group and others associated with the con man himself, are inviting their members to come along!!!! Can you imagine just how many people there are in the States alone who are vunerable right now and wide open to explotation!!!

They've even realigned Narcissism to now include those who don't have NPD. The BS mail refers to those Narcissists who don't have NPD but are destroying their partners! Sam has just about managed to lassoo the slightest problem in a relationship as being Narcissism!!!! Therefore it follows that you should buy his comic and come for a nice chat with his cult follows from various support sites who are getting a percentage.

Am I angry or what  

Of all Countries, I hope our American chums put an end to this charade legally! Surely there must be some way of stopping a quack such as this guy from swindling poeple?

Here is the last few lines of the mail that was sent to me.....it nearly made me throw up reading it:

For more information please visit www.helpfromsurvivors.com and/or
call Mary Jo Fay at 303-841-7691.

Many thanks to Sam Vaknin for his ongoing support of World-Wide
education of Narcissistic Personality Disorder!

Onyx

The full e mail is as follows:Upcoming Conference on Narcissism

November 5 - 7, 2004 will see the first of its kind conference on
Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, to include
professionals and lay people alike. Mary Jo Fay, author of "When
Your Perfect Partner Goes Perfectly Wrong - Loving or Leaving the
Narcissist in Your Life," and founder of the Narcissism Survivor
Network will be hosting the event in Denver, Colorado, sponsored by
Out of the Boxx, Inc.

"This event is to help people become familiar not only with
narcissism and NPD, if they have never heard of it before, but will
be a venue for therapists to mix and mingle with victims and
survivors for a mutual sharing and learning from each other. In
addition, the variety of presenters sharing information will include
therapists as well as survivors," said Fay.

"The focus of the Narcissism Survivor Network is not to diagnose
narcissists, rather, our goal is to educate those who have been
involved with narcissistic individuals in some way. We want to help
them understand the convoluted dance they were involved in, how to
spot "red flag narcissistic behaviors" in future relationships -
(whether in romantic relationships, work environments, friendships,
or unfortunately - with relatives), and to find ways to rebuild
their self-esteem as well.  For part of the dance involves the total
destruction of self-esteem, which is then a set up for future
victimization. A strong individual is not nearly as easy a target
for a narcissist. If knowledge is power, then plan on a lot of
empowerment to take place!"

"We also want to explain that someone doesn't have to have full
blown NPD to be  "hazardous to your health!" Even someone who only
exhibits some narcissistic traits can lead their partner into an
unhealthy emotional and/or physical state. Some of the members of
our local support group start out by saying, "But I'm not sure he
has it." We remind them that we are not here to diagnose ... we are
here to help those on the receiving end of what can be even subtle
emotional abuse and negative brainwashing that takes place in the
world of someone with narcissistic issues."

"In addition, we want to help therapists who are trained to
recognize the narcissist, to better understand the emotional roller
coaster life of the victims of those with NPD or narcissistic
traits. Unless they have been in a narcissistic relationship
themselves, it can be very hard to understand some of the feelings,
beliefs, and behaviors that many victims portray. By bringing lay
people together with the professionals who provide support and care,
we hope to evolve learning to another level. The three therapists
who are involved as presenters in this workshop all have first-hand
experience of living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personally - their
insights will lend invaluable information to the presentation."

The tentative schedule will include the following:

When Your Perfect Partner Goes Perfectly Wrong - Now What?
Narcissism Survivor Network Conference
For Professionals and Nonprofessionals alike
November  5 - 7, 2004
Denver, Colorado

Friday evening schedule:
6PM - 10 PM Welcome reception and introduction, including cocktail
cash bar

Saturday schedule (8 AM - 5:30 PM)
1. You are NOT alone!

2. What is Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

3. Defining abuse … physical, sexual, and emotional control.

4. Narcissism Victim Syndrome examined

5. Who are the victims? A panel discussion by survivors and how they
chose to quit being victims …

6. Why we think we can't break the dance …  
A discussion of codependency - why victims are "sucked into the
dance" with the narcissist, why they frequently feel they can't get
out, how they can learn steps to escape the victimhood and become a
survivor, and how to take heed of the "red flag" behaviors of
narcissism in future situations and break free of the bonds that
keep this convoluted dance going.

7. Rebuilding self-esteem - This "after lunch time" will include
empowering activities! (Someone will even win a makeover!) Got years
of stuffed anger? Try your hand at kickboxing and learn to let your
anger out safely! Other opportunities to focus on taking care of YOU!

8. The therapist's view. A panel discussion of those who've also
been victims of narcissists and who now, with different insight,
practice differently as a result.

10. Narcissists in the workplace. A lawyer presents her uphill
journey battling narcissism at the highest level with some legal
ideas to share.

11. Presentation by AMEND. Recognized since 1977 - AMEND is a
batterer intervention program. This group receives narcissistic
abusers from the court system and has some interesting insights to
share about these individuals.

Saturday Night Banquet with Keynote Speaker University of Denver
professor Rene Ryman ...
My own "Mommy Dearest" story

Sunday schedule
1. Therapists discussion forums (8 AM - 9 AM breakout)

2. Survivors discussion forums (8 AM - 9AM breakout)

3.  Staying or leaving the relationship - the choice only you can
make.

4. Breaking the cycle (general session)

There will also be a bookstore for several great references on
narcissism and related topics, including Sam Vaknin's book,
Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited, as well as Fay's book,
When Your Perfect Partner Goes Perfectly Wrong.

In addition, there will be a variety of vendors including a
hypnotherapist available for therapy sessions during the conference.
And of course, lots of networking, sharing, and bonding for those
seeking those opportunities as well!

Fees: Early registration (before September 15) is $200 per person.
After September 15th - $250 per person.
Banquet dinner $35

Vendor fees $250 per table. (Negotiable for non-profits.) All
vendors will be positioned in the general session room and banquet
room throughout the weekend. Vendors are invited free for each full
paying guest they bring to the conference. You may submit books
and/or products to sell at our bookstore for a consignment fee,
should you not be able to attend personally.

Schedule for arrival/departure:
Friday evening welcome overview and cocktail reception (cash bar) 6PM
Saturday 8 AM - 5:30 PM general session
Saturday 7:00 PM Banquet festivities
Sunday 8 - 2PM General session
Departure

Room information:
Red Lion Hotel, Denver, Colorado
free shuttle from airport
Room rate $79 single, $89 double (plus local taxes)

For more information please visit www.helpfromsurvivors.com and/or
call Mary Jo Fay at 303-841-7691.

Many thanks to Sam Vaknin for his ongoing support of World-Wide
education of Narcissistic Personality Disorder!

[Ellie]

Wow! I'm in Denver - think I should go check it out?  

Only if someone pays me to! This looks on the outside like a good conference for those who have been harmed by Ns, but it is obviously a money maker - therapists on site to sign you up for treatment now! And unless it's been greatly remodeled - the Red Lion Hotel is not a great place to stay! It used to be the cream of the crop when Mile High Stdium was still looking good and still existed. But it has deteriorated and looks shabby now. Tacky place to stay if you ask me - not even in the heart of downtown - across the highway.

There will also be a bookstore for several great references on
narcissism and related topics, including Sam Vaknin's book,
Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited, as well as Fay's book,
When Your Perfect Partner Goes Perfectly Wrong.

In addition, there will be a variety of vendors including a
hypnotherapist available for therapy sessions during the conference.
And of course, lots of networking, sharing, and bonding for those
seeking those opportunities as well!

Money, money, money.....

[Anonymous]

People acting against the regulations of their licence are easier to stop in the flesh than when they are just on the net.

Actual proof of unethical practice is necessary and then a complaint may be filed, providing there are those willing to make a complaint or more.

Many will already be in a vunerable state before being hurt by such swindlers as this and will be further harmed.  After that, they may not have the strength needed to fight against such people in order to put a stop to this business.

Catch 22 situation and Sammy wins all the prizes.

Lot's of other people's moola and the status of a saviour.

A group is needed to have an impact on the problem.

[flower]

Thanks Onyx,  ..... too tired to do housework, thought I'd catch up reading, couldn't resist responding, thanks for giving us this info.


Guest said:

Many will already be in a vunerable state before being hurt by such swindlers as this and will be further harmed. After that, they may not have the strength needed to fight against such people in order to put a stop to this business

Onyx quoted the seminar information:

In addition, there will be a variety of vendors including a
hypnotherapist available for therapy sessions during the conference.

Yikes! Why a hypnotherapist on site? I've never heard of drive through hypnotherapy before.  Something doesn't seem right here.

[Amused Observer]

I would like to point out that this conference is not organized by nor will any of the registration money go to Sam Vaknin.     Mary Jo Fay is the organizer and the one who profits if she makes anything over what it will take to pay expenses.  

And if Sam Vaknin were selling that many $50 books (when the entire book is FREE online to begin with), then mainstream publishers would be beating down his door to buy his copyright.

It is a fantasy that Sam Vaknin is getting rich off his book.   He may have been the first, but he has lots of stiff competition these days, and that is as it should be.

What Sam most wants out of it (and gets) is name recognition, fame, and even angry threads like this one.   Never forget he is a narcisissist and he loves to be hated.     I am sure he would thank you for taking the time to talk about him and make his name mentioned on this forum.

[Anonymous]

What Sam most wants out of it (and gets) is name recognition, fame, and even angry threads like this one.  

Dear amused,

Gee, we had forgotten about old sam since this thread is ancient history. But ever so nice of you to bring it forward again for our edification......?

Dee

[Anonymous]

Maybe it is good old Sam himself! He is certainly no stranger to narcissism boards.

[JPBill]

Hi Onyx..new here and trying to understand the insanity of my last two years with my N'ish g/f. Can't believe the twists and turns going on in my head as I read some of this. Sam's was the first place I found when I began my journey. He seemed viscious in his attitude about people suffering with N. Projection comes to mind. Am I right? Or is there a "right" answer in any of this? I feel crazy. Like my life is a Stephen King novel. I'm scared. There's a saying about projection..if you spot it, you've got it. Says exactly where I'm at right now..doubting my gut, doubting my needs, my common sense, everything. Where my g/f is concerned I feel like a spoiled brat for being so whiney, demanding, expectant and critical of her. That's what seems to be in my face most of the time when I'm with her. Anyway..hope to chat with you more as time goes by. Glad to meet you and thanks for the education.

[bunny]

There's a saying about projection..if you spot it, you've got it. Says exactly where I'm at right now..doubting my gut, doubting my needs, my common sense, everything. Where my g/f is concerned I feel like a spoiled brat for being so whiney, demanding, expectant and critical of her. That's what seems to be in my face most of the time when I'm with her. Anyway..hope to chat with you more as time goes by. Glad to meet you and thanks for the education.

I'm not Onyx but about projection.....

Projection is normal. Everyone does it. The problem comes when most of the projections put on others are hostile, aggressive, persecutory, sadistic (etc.). An N has far more aggressive projections than positive projections. The N imposes these projections on others, and we act them out. Sometimes we feel, and act out, the N's terror, fear, hysteria, panic, and craziness. Sometimes we act out their suppressed masochism and become a doormat. The solution is to observe/notice projections that we are feeling and enacting, distinguish them from our own feelings (because they get mixed up together), and take responsibility and be accountable for only our own feelings. The stuff that we decide belongs to the other person has to be NOT acted on. The less you act out around this person, the less you react impulsively to them, the more "yourself" you will feel. You can still feel confused, be irritated at yourself, but don't act on it. Take it to your therapist.

bunny