dont know how to call this

[Lupita]

Are you afraid he'll continue blustering through your boundaries (physically and emotionally......) or is it something else?

What exactly, do you think your fear is telling you?

I do not know. It is a fear that something bad will happen. That his family will hate me. That .......I do not know what. I think of his son. I would have liked to be his son's friend. He is a nice kid.

I am Saturday alone again which does not scare me at all, I will go to the swiming pool, and walk on the beach, do my exercises, wash my car, many things I have to prepare for Monday class start again.

But, the fear is less today than it was yesterday.

I went to my salsa weekly party and I did not stay. After four months of not going there, I could not recognize anybody there, non of mny old classmates were there. I just came back home fater driving 45 min twice.

I have to pick up the pieces and get my self together again.

[Lupita]

I think the fear is related to the abandonment sensation created by my mother's rejection.

Probably, every fear that I have is related to that.

The sensation that nobody likes me and nobody wants me and mobody loves me.

[lighter]

All you can do is guide yourself.... you can't control other people.

Accept that you might lose some relationships, if you enforce your boundaries, Lupe.

Ouch... I know..... but what do you gain when you choose yourself, over fear and manipulation?

Lighter

ps  If you had to come up with a daily mantra, what would it be?

[Lupita]

I do not know. Have no idea. About the mantra. Do you have any idea?

But I did not enforce my boundaires. I did not have the pacience. I prefered to let him go rather than  working on enforcing my boundaries.

I did not want to practice because I get very frustrated.

So, I terminated our boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

We will be friends. Hope that will be good.

[lighter]

Sustaining any relationship with him, requires you keep your boundaries in tact.

How're things going now..... that you've stated the "friendship only" boundary?

Lighter

[lighter]

Lupe:

I can think of a few good mantras for you.

1.  I trust myself, and my boundaries, to keep me safe.

2.  Everything will be OK...... I'm OK.

3.  I'm smart, educated, healthy and I'm going to make good choices, for my happiness, today.

4. I'm in charge of my happiness, my boundaries and my choices.

5.  Today I will choose myself.....  I won't compromise my boundaries for anyone.

6.  I'm OK, everything will be OK, no matter what, all will be well.

7.  I'm fine, I'll make good choices today and enjoy every moment I have on this earth.

Those are the types of mantras that come to mind when I think about you, Lupe.

I'm interested to see what you were thinking.

Lighter

[Lupita]

Those are affirmations, according to Wayne Dyer. U thought that mantra was the "ammm" for meditation or uh after breathing.

Those affirmations sound excellent. I will start to do them on the morning bofoer going to work.

I have problems with two students and they make me feel very bad.

I understand now that it hurts me more than to other teachers, but since i am new at my school, the students take advantage of me. It will be better next year. I have wonderful coworkers.

I need to detach and not to get mad. Working with teenagers is not easy.

About w, we are friends, but he still trespasses my boundaries but it does not hurt because he is not over to my house often, just once a week as friends to walk on the beach. So, everything si coming to place.

Eckhart Tolle is very helpful to me.

I am studying the art of presence but him and soon will start the key to awareness by Wanye Dyer. It helps.

I have to be content.

[Hopalong]

That's wonderful, Lupe...

Have you read Pema Chodron?

love
Hops

[Lupita]

Hi Hopsy, yes, I read Pema Chodrom and loved her. I read "When Things Fall Apart" and was very enlightening.

How to give up hope and accept the reality. Do not fight the reality. It is what it is.

Be content.

Now I am determined to start learning meditation.

I will go to a Budhist temple and take classes.

[lighter]

Lupe:

It might be helpful to revisit some books you found very helpful......

several more times.

You can choose different colored highlighters, with each read, and mark the things that speak to you.

You'll also recognize the things you've managed to internalize...... which might give a sense of how far you've come.

Lighter