Over My Fear of Dr Visits

[gratitude28]

I think I am there!!! I just did all my physical stuff for the year, and I was OK with all the visits. As a young adult, I was terrified of going to the Dr. I think my NM used it as a way to "find out" things about me and "prove" I was bad. That sounds strange, maybe, but she sure did enjoy anything that was wrong with me. I always felt I had to hide things from the Dr. and that he/she was there to see through to my bad nature.
Fortunately, I am able to see now that I am one of thousands of patients they see, no one special, and they are there to help me.
Do you all go through this???
Love, Beth

[Hopalong]

Oh Beth. That is so twisted:

--to make your child fear the people who are their allies
--to interpret any physical malady as a character flaw

It's also a boundary thing--your mother appropriating YOUR medical needs/checkups as part of her own agenda...the entertainment/sadistic motivation of her waiting (wanting?) for something to be wrong with you.

I'm glad you've banished her from the examining room and have reclaimed YOUR relationship to your own healers.

love,
Hops
PS--My housemate, age 60+, is going through something similar.
He had multiple toes chopped off in a mowing accident and feels "grateful to not be judged".
He asked me to look at an article yesterday that he wrote for the congregation and that's what I saw:
"Something BAD happened to me, therefore I AM bad, and will most likely be judged, or at the least I should be relieved I'm NOT being judged (as if being judged for an ACCIDENT is the normal thing)...

I wrote him back that anybody who'd criticize him for such a terrible mishap (even if he was rushing, distracted or careless---welcome to the human race) is mean. Official term. Mean. And the real question is, why are we unkind to ourselves when awful things happen? I likened the experience of an accident to the experience of being hit...asked him if he ever was.

I'm sure he was. I remember something horrible he mentioned about his father.

[Ami]

Dear Beth
 I love this subject b/c I have suffered so much from it and have been so ashamed and embarrassed to talk about it. I have been thinking about some things to write for a few days but don't know where to start.
 Just wanted to say thank you for bringing it up and CONGRATS on your progress.
 I hope I can follow in your footsteps some day.      Love to you,  Ami