Maybe you're partly angry at him because you have felt so dependent?
I understand...
I have had rounds of frustration with Gennulman too.
Lately though, it's dissolved into accepting him for who he is, the relationship for what it is (it helps me a lot that he accepts that too), and we're just happy comrades in the present...
One day, I think I'll feel the pull of a different future and a new partner perhaps, someone with whom I can build a little bit more bourgeois life. But I am learning a lot right now -- his limits are my inspirations.
He lost so much he has no fear of lack. (But he doesn't judge me for mine.) And that is wonderful to be around. He loaned me a terrific book called Better OFF, by Eric Brende--it is like drinking water.
Sorry to hijack, Lup...open wide inside...be curious about what kind of a life you can lead as your orbit opens up to new pulls, new interests and passions...
Your play is nowhere near over. This is intermission. There is always more story, another discovery, another act.
Be kind to yourself. And be yourself.
Then it'll be easier to let him be him and not make it about blame.
He's given you company during a time when you really needed it.
It's okay to step back, and have less time with him, your life is changing...
love
Hops