Healthy N

[Ami]

Dear Ann
 I have pulled away from people because I could not shield myself from intrusion . I did not feel I had the right.Now, I am going forward in to the world again. I understand where you are coming from in terms of other people. My problem is more inside myself. *I* feel that I am bad for  any selfish feelings(any primal feelings). If I have ANY needs for myself, I am bad.
Do you know what I mean ?             Ami
 

[sKePTiKal]

No Ami.... not weird... not bad.

Even with people we truly care about, sometimes we just don't want to "have to" be there for them. The feeling isn't bad. Maybe we're tired, the timing is stressful, we have needs that are being put aside at that very moment... for the other. But we do put them aside... because we value the relationship and the person. The feeling that you don't want to be bothered at that moment... is just human.

I hope this is a person who would do the same for you... that is my definition of a good relationship.

[Ami]

I have started going out with a group for drinks two nights a week. It is interesting to see the whole group of people. One girl seems to have a strong sense of self.
 I see ways that I can get that .It is all about Healthy N.
     Ami