Other Traits... ?

[Anonymous]

Hi Dawning...

Attached (bolted to!) for 5 years in my case, and detaching was pure h*ll for me, too...  

So glad you find that helpful  It was so hard to get my head around that one.   The insightful things said, that gave hope to things once again, were so easy to believe when I wanted them to be true more than anything.   In fact, I think I never would have allowed myself to accept the truth consciously while being in contact with him in any way.  I requested zero contact for 6 months (not knowing about him & Nism at that point), and only during that no contact time, was I able to step back and see what was really going on.  

I think it has been several months for you?  Has he ever contacted you again?

BT

[Anonymous]

callus, cruel, dishonest

[findingme]

Items 4-7 are dead ringers for my Ns.  One counselor described my three Ns as very "invasive."  Perfect description.  Also described "splitting."  Two of the Ns continually worked to create a split between me & the other N.  Also, my Nmom worked hard (& successfully for many years) to create a "split" between my father & me.  I am told this "splitting" is typical of NPD.  fm

[Dawning]

In addition:

*demanding

*selfish (2x)

*childish

*over-whelming (in the guise of being protective)

*intrusive (2x)

And its all about getting their supply.  

The childish trait (ie, both my parents) has had long-term effects on me.  I find myself myself feeling compelled to have *child-like* experiences now to make up for the adult I had to be in my real childhood.  I'm working on this.  And allowing the child in me to come out around the *right* people now (ie, people I trust.)

[lmb37]

I see so much of my life on this thread!!  I cannot understand why I never found this site before but was obviously looking in the wrong places!!  

Arrogant

Judgemental

Humiliated myself and children in public

superior

word smith

confuser

intrusive

I'll never forget what he said to me when I suggested we needed counseling.  " Oh I can counsel us.  We don't need an outsider"  Yikes that was scary.  Thank God for insight and understanding!!!

[angrygirl]

makes criticizing or devaluing comments

doesn't  listen

diminishes the importance of feelings other than his/her own

calls me touchy/oversensitive

always interrupts

tells me how I brought it on myself

expects obedience

expects lavish gifts

belittles me but then accuses me of doing it to them