Hello all on this thread.
I blurted out: don't think less of me because I need something!
Hi Seeker.
wow, that's a pretty powerful blurting-out. Thanks for sharing it.
drowning and muffling the voices with other things that they really do not care about, then stepping out and doing what you want to do, maybe is doable.
Hi Ellie.
Thanks for suggesting the above. You are right. I can really relate to this method in terms of healing. Its what I am working on right now. Letting in the good to mend the pain.
If you can distinguish which things are anticipate-able and which are random, you can start strategizing.
Hi bunny.
Wise advice indeed!
Hi BT.
Someone placing needs upon them, which is a perfectly normal part of healthy, close relationships, seems to trigger aspects of their Nism.
OMG. Yes, yes and yes. I've had this with almost every one of my blood relatives since I was small and then it found its way into my early relationships. The one long-term relationship I've had with a relatively normal person went sour - from my end - because I never clarified to him what my needs were. So he just did *whatever.* I think he expected me to say something, but I thought I wasn't allowed to have needs. The other intimate relationships have pretty much been with N's. The last one, most definitely and he really fits what you said above. Again, I sublimated my needs although I did *tell* him what they were which is more than I could do before.
Part of this is figuring out "who I am" in the context of romantic partnerships.... It seems obvious to say "you will just be who you are normally", but doesn't feel that simple. Something within shifts... I think it is that the dynamics of romantic relationships deeply trigger all of the childhood stuff... Bring it all to the surface...
I agree. I'm starting to work all that out now. I am aiming for normal, healthy relationships now where mutual needs are important and discussed. These are things I never learned growing up.
Hi OnlyMe.
Hugs to you for your strength as a woman and cancer survivor . I have much respect for you.
I still only seem to be able to plan for today. I still cannot see 'tomorrow' very clearly, if at all.
Nor can I. I think we need to fully realize
what we have survived. I am starting to see the light there in a big way. And with this is coming the clarity I need to plan for tomorrow. Little baby steps. And I wish the same for you.
Thanks for the replies.
Bottom line: we deserve all the happiness this world has to offer. If I am *open* to anything now, it is to happiness.
