Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > What Helps?

Has anyone dealt with a narcicistic relationship?

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Hopalong:
Hi Nat:
Do you think men move on more briskly and healthily than women do, generally speaking?

I have often wondered what it is that meant it took me several years to accept the reality of what some men I know who've had that painful awakening...mere months.

Got a secret? (It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job of getting intensive support right now, I'm sure that's part of it. Good going.)

Hops

Certain Hope:
Hi again, Nat,

  It's great to hear your tone of optimism and especially that she will be leaving your business, moving on to other interests.
Painful though it may be initially, it is actually a blessing, I think, when someone with such destructive behavior patterns finds a new "love". At least she hopefully will not be stalking you and trying to make your life miserable. You know, she may return at a later date to try to resume where she left off... your support groups should give you all the preparation you need to ward off that sort of maneuver. I hope you'll keep in touch.

Hope

natman:
Hi:

I have no idea if men recover faster than women. Women tend to feel deeper and have a different sense of attachment than men do. But in the end perhaps we are not that different.

Being able to intellectually evaluate my wife's condition and see how clearly it fit Destructive Narcisstic Pattern, has made it somewhat easier to move on and see that I would never have the relationship I crave with her. Deep down it still hurts though to be discarded so easily, but remember everyone: Time heals all wounds, esp. if you truly are ready to let go.

Hope, I truly do not believe she will ever come around to contact me again. She is very single-minded and has moved on. Perhaps men with the greater need for sexual validation do come back to drink at the well. She describes me as being her best friend and seems at some level to miss me, but to act upon that feeling would require her to face how she has treated me and all behaviour is projected outward. No introspection allowed.

Her ability to deny what she has felt, said or done is well developed. She once treatened to commit suicide as a tool to manipulate me, and to this day she denies ever having said it.

The general prognosis for someone such as her is that she will never be able to have a normal sense of empathy and develop a somewhat health relationship.

She is no longer my problem. I am looking forwrd and moving on as best I can.

carissa:
Hello.
I have dealt with a narcissist, but it ended well. She would constantly brag about the money she earned on the side as a hair stylist. She was always stating that she makes at least double the earnings styling people's hair at her home than what she earned at her job. Unfortunately for her, she would brag about the fact that she wasn't declaring any of this income on her tax return (she would only accept cash as payment). So I contacted the Canada Revenue Agency to report her. They are now auditing her & they are auditing her going back about 15 years. She's going to be charged with tax evasion/fraud & the amount of money she's going to have to pay will be in the thousands of dollars. When the trial is completed, then I'll let her know that she got caught because of me.
At least this is one narcissist who's going to think twice about her narcissistic attitudes/behaviours. I'm ecstatic...

Certain Hope:
Hi Carissa and welcome to the forum  :)

  If you'd like to share more about your situation, I'm wondering... is this person a family member?

   My brother has shown plenty of evidence of a definite destructive narcissistic pattern and he's been audited many times for finagling on his taxes (he has his own business). I dunno if that ever stopped him from cheating, even though he's received many fines and penalties. Maybe if he'd been sent to jail.... hmm... nope, I doubt it.

Oh, it seems that you would likely get more responses over on main message board if you'd like to talk further.
Best wishes and welcome again!

Hope

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