Wow! Great posts! Thanks everyone!
Hey P! I imagine you that way too. Isn't that interesting?
I find the 'calm and collected' thing hilarious, considering the contents of my head. Those who think that might like to hear my repertoire of swear words, which has increased over the past year.I guess that's what I'm trying to understand. How people can see us a certain way when really, we think of ourselves as otherwise. I might seem "strong and wise" but inside my head I think I'm quite weak and confused, stupid even, sometimes (stupid in the sense where I don't understand or can't make sense of something/someone or their words/behaviour.....and not for lack of trying......and I feeeeel stupid).
Seriously if someone told me I was being unreasonable, or illogical, or irrational, that would make me stop and consider whether they are correct or not.I would likely consider the source first. Someone I trust and admire, I'd likely do the same. Someone I don't trust and don't like, I'd probably ignore/discard their comment. I guess it depends on many factors. I do think I'm quite sensitive to compliments and criticism though. Maybe more than average? (I just don't always express what I'm thinking, as most people probably don't. Or else.....I might over react! Go figger? Again, depends on a bunch of stuff).
Hi Lise,
How others may see me, I can't even think about going there these days because I am so vulnerable and in my old FOO wounds that seeing myself from the outer rim might be too painful.Sometimes I feel that way too. I just don't wanna hear it/ or think about it, no matter who is saying it/or looking. We have to take care of ourselves eh? There are better days ahead for you I bet. I also bet the picture is not nearly as painful as you won't think to imagine it. I think people who grow up in these kinds of situations tend to be much harder on themselves than the rest of the world is. We've been put down so much that we have to struggle very hard to get up and shed that negative cloak. Just keep trying, Lise. Does that make sense?
Hiya Ami,
The best compliment I can get is when s/one tells me I am a warm person. I think I am friendly in 3D.I imagine you as warm and friendly too. Isn't that cool? Maybe certain aspects of our personality just can't help but come across, even in the typed word on a pc screen?
Hey Bean! Hi!!
I'm sure what I think I appear as would be much different in certain ways than others see me.See that's what I'm wondering about? Are we not trained to sort of......resist compliments? Does growing up in an N environment make us more than "normally" sensitive to people's comments? Do we misinterpret more often than average? Do we react differently than most people would?
I guess I'm asking if we have thinner skins (at least on the inside)? Why do we so easily decide that we are different than we appear? Or am I nuts and most people do that? Where the heck is "normal"?
Hiya Bear,
People at work think I'm smart, but I don't think I am at all!! My boss commented one time that I had a "quiet sense of humor." I liked that! Most guys, and some girls, think I'm funny. (??????)So for some reason you consider yourself less intelligent than you appear?
And you are confused as to why people think you're funny?
So those comments seeped through your skin and caused you to reject and even to question the one you liked?
Interesting because one of the first things I thought reading you was that you seem pretty intelligent to me and also to have a good sense of humour. Maybe you're are smarter than you think and funnier too?
Hi PM,
Thats easy, since I've relied on that so much over the years.Good point. We do rely on what other people say about us, whether we are aware of it or not. Growing up in an N environment was bound to give us a negative impression of ourselves (or very little impression at all, since N's try to negate our individuality as much as possible).
So then you are quite sensitive to what other people say about you? And it sounds like it has helped?
Well, I should be cleaning my house right now as I'm having a big corn roast tomorrow and much to do. Just wanted to let ya'll know I might not get a chance to post back again until I recover from the "event"....which might take until after the weekend.
Looking forward to more on this (if people are interested). I think maybe we are also good actors/actresses? Maybe we can do the dance better than necessary, in order to survive? I guess I keep asking myself.....who am I.....really?
Mostly because I read stuff here sometimes where people are saying things about themselves that indicate feelings of such worthlessness and it blows me away. There are times when I feel worthless too. Very sad.
The child we were is still inside us and that child is precious and innocent. It's what we experienced (plus our own individual uniqueness) that makes us who we are, imo. And some of the awful experiences I read people have had here have no doubt caused great influence on their development. Alot of it is just plain BS and needs to be retrained, as far as I can see. I believe in change!! I'm a work in progress!!
Sela
