I’ve been reading the book “Deadly Emotions,” which Kelly recommended to me. So far it’s been very informative, a real wake-up call. I’ve been having a lot of stress-related health problems over the last few years, and this book is really explaining a lot, and certainly making me aware that I need to work harder at stress reduction.
Anyway, this whole subject got me wondering if stress is exclusive to the victims of Ns, or if Ns experience stress themselves.
I’ve always assumed that my NM lived a completely stress free life. She always got her way, and when she didn’t, got great satisfaction out of exacting revenge, which must have felt awfully good to her. BUT, the events leading up to my abuse, usually her inability to control me, would create a great deal of anger and rage in her. She would often throw temper tantrums, stomp her feet, and physically act out. That said, once she collected herself and carried out her act(s) of revenge, she felt very satisfied in knowing that she had succeeded in hurting me. So if she had any stress, she would eventually get relief, whereas her victim would not.
The reason I’m asking, is because M was constantly sick with various illnesses, starting at around age 50, and now, in her early 70s, terminal lung cancer (and she doesn’t smoke). In addition to health problems, she always looked prematurely aged. After reading more about the stress/illness connection, I’m wondering if her medical problems may have stemmed from stress. She lived a life that was consumed with hatred and anger. That couldn’t have been a healthy situation.
Just curious what others think about this, or if anyone has read anything about the subject. I’ve never looked at it this way before, but it seems to make sense. I’m at least curious about it.
