I'm tired of being depressed, sad, fearful, and all the other negative feelings that go along with FOO triggers.
I must have gotten some healthy dose of narcissism recently, because I've decided to stop giving my Power away to an idiot.
I know its not nice to call someone an idiot, but its not like I'm saying it to her face. I want to, but I won't. I can't. I've grown beyond the need to clutch to fear like, well like a crutch.
If it is not her, it will be the next idiot that comes along in my life. There is always going to be someone if I let it.
Life was meant to be lived. I think I'm starting to understand what it means to think like others. They call somebody an idiot in their mind - its no big deal. They don't feel bad for thinking "that person is an idiot!" The alternative is for me to feel terrible, to hate or fear this person. Just because she resembles my N Mother, does not mean I have to fall into the great Vertical Descent, as our couples' therapist calls it.
just felt like writing
love to all,
bean
p.s. I got married
