Author Topic: I've Decided I'm Not Giving an Idiot my Power  (Read 1478 times)

bean j

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I've Decided I'm Not Giving an Idiot my Power
« on: September 13, 2009, 10:26:59 PM »
I'm tired of being depressed, sad, fearful, and all the other negative feelings that go along with FOO triggers.

I must have gotten some healthy dose of narcissism recently, because I've decided to stop giving my Power away to an idiot.

I know its not nice to call someone an idiot, but its not like I'm saying it to her face.  I want to, but I won't.  I can't.  I've grown beyond the need to clutch to fear like, well like a crutch.

If it is not her, it will be the next idiot that comes along in my life.  There is always going to be someone if I let it.

Life was meant to be lived.  I think I'm starting to understand what it means to think like others.  They call somebody an idiot in their mind - its no big deal.  They don't feel bad for thinking "that person is an idiot!"  The alternative is for me to feel terrible, to hate or fear this person.  Just because she resembles my N Mother, does not mean I have to fall into the great Vertical Descent, as our couples' therapist calls it.

just felt like writing

love to all,
bean

p.s.  I got married  :)

cgm1028

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Re: I've Decided I'm Not Giving an Idiot my Power
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2009, 10:30:57 PM »
Bravo!!  Well spoken!

Twoapenny

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Re: I've Decided I'm Not Giving an Idiot my Power
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2009, 01:15:55 AM »
Hi Bean,

Congratulations on getting married!   :P  Thinking someone's an idiot isn't narcissistic or unkind - som people are idiots!  It sounds like you've had two things - a good dose of self esteem and a good dose of just being sick and tired of all of it.  I think these are both good things.

I find it much easier now to think "you're an idiot" - or selfish, or lazy, or unkind, and not bother with someone anymore, than I used to.  I used to be attracted to those sort of people like a moth to a flame, but gradually I'm recognising patterns in people and realising that I do not have to be around them - I'm free to be with whoever I want, for as long as I want.  It's very liberating.

Enjoy your new found aversion to idiots and your new marriage!

Hugs,

Twoapenny

Ami

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Re: I've Decided I'm Not Giving an Idiot my Power
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2009, 03:25:34 AM »
Congratulations, ((((Beansie)))))!!!!!  Wishing you all the best wishes.             xxxxxoooooooo      Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Lucky

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Re: I've Decided I'm Not Giving an Idiot my Power
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2009, 03:58:17 AM »
You have spoken very well Bean! Congratulations on getting married! Let the good life begin!

Hopalong

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Re: I've Decided I'm Not Giving an Idiot my Power
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2009, 11:41:47 AM »
Congratulations on your marriage, Bean...
much happiness to you both!

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

bean j

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Re: I've Decided I'm Not Giving an Idiot my Power
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2009, 12:22:16 PM »
thanks everyone

Well, I guess this means we are no longer No Contact Hops.  Happy to see you have posted to me.  I think letting by-gones be by-gones is in order?

Along the lines of marriage comes the age-old topic of sex.  Haven't thought about it this much in my whole life.  I guess I'll start a thread...

bean

lighter

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Re: I've Decided I'm Not Giving an Idiot my Power
« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2009, 12:37:27 PM »
Congratulations, Bean.

Living in the moment means letting bygones be bygones, and choosing what and whom we give our attention to.

Brava.

Mo2


Hopalong

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Re: I've Decided I'm Not Giving an Idiot my Power
« Reply #8 on: September 14, 2009, 02:07:01 PM »
Okay, Bean...
(you've been away a while, didn't remember our NC).

Just wanted to wish you happiness.

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

bearwithme

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Re: I've Decided I'm Not Giving an Idiot my Power
« Reply #9 on: September 14, 2009, 03:09:55 PM »
Congratulations Bean j!!!

Yes, some people are idiots.  I don't feel bad saying that either.   :shock: