Interesting Article on cnn.com

[BonesMS]

Another example or two of Narcissistic behaviors that I observed in a classroom:

When I was taking the university-level sociology class that I previously mentioned, there was this one young lady that bragged that she would NEVER have to work!     I asked her to clarify her statement.  She proceeded to tell me that she would simply find "Prince Charming on his white steed, marry him, and he would take care of HER FOREVER!"      (WHAT PLANET IS SHE LIVING ON?!?!?!?)  I asked her what would she do when one of the following scenarios occurs:  (a) suddenly becoming widowed with YOUNG children to support, (b) hubby SUDDENLY leaving her for the greener grass on the other side of the fence, (c) suddenly needing to leave an ABUSIVE marriage...the only response I got in return was this look of UTTER RAGE directed at me for DARING to question her little fairy tale fantasy!!!!! 

(This exchange was taking place before the N-Party Animal was ejected and he, then attempted to start his own bragging about how he NEVER would have to study OR work because he would ALWAYS receive SSI and SSDI at my taxpayer expense!)  I pointed out to him that governments can change and a future administration could decide that he is able-bodied enough to work, given that it was ONLY HIS EARS THAT ARE DIFFERENTLY-ABLED, and CUT OFF HIS ENTITLEMENT!!  That P--ed him off!  N's HATE REALITY!!!!!

Bones

[Sealynx]

Bones
It is overwhelming. This behavior has to be dealt with in the lower grades. Unfortunately, at all levels, teachers have issues with helicopter parents showing up to make sure their child's "specialness" (an extension of their ego) is respected.  Rather than let the child learn good behavior from the failure of bad, they show up to insist that that their kid be given another chance to do what they were told had to be done the first time. This teaches the child that there is always a "work around" to every rule they don't like.

At the college level the parent cannot be given any personal information about a student without the student's permission. Usually by the time they find out junior hasn't been to class in weeks they are furious....with us!!! They end up following their child into the dean's office who then has to resist their demands for their "child" to be reinstated in classes he is hopelessly behind in and usually has no real interest in doing the hard work of catching up in.

Something else has changed too. Even the good students don't seem to appreciate the special attention you give to them. I loaned three books out to "good" kids last semester and allowed them to keep them over break. One was an eastern version of a BIBLE to a student who was very religious! I never saw the students or the books again! This is typical. Luckily I don't lend out books I'm too attached too, but lending has become the same thing as discarding to this generation. If its "unimportant" enough to be let out of your sight...it isn't worth being returned! I think this is a reflection of their own lack of self worth. Unfortunately,  giving them your precious time and attention is also seen as a "freebie". All teachers do that, so it doesn't make their relationship to you "special."

If teacher's attention is no longer something of value, how do you motivate them? When it is seen as a teacher's job to praise you, you don't have to earn it.  A BAD teacher doesn't give you attention...no matter how little you did to deserve it.  This is a big change because it leaves us with nothing of value to exchange for THEIR attention. If they don't care for the subject matter...we have no bargaining chips on the table.

Perhaps the big question is what does give these people satisfaction? Most of us appreciate a challenge and learn about ourselves through challenge. These students resent being asked to "figure something out" or do anything that might suggest they have a deficit. I think we can see the answer to that in our mothers and fathers...nothing satisfies them...nothing ever will. But that won't stop them from going through life breaking rules, acting without civility and demanding specialness while leaving an endless trail of discarded books, jobs, and people in their wake.

[BonesMS]

That is SO TRUE, Sealynx!

When I used to work in the university admissions office at the Deaf educational institution, I lost count of how MANY times parents would either call or show up at the office DEMANDING SPECIAL EXCEPTIONS for THEIR children regarding admissions criteria and requirements!  (They were NOT doing their children any beneficial favors!)  One managed to convince my now-former boss to give his son a second chance at being admitted as a preparatory student and it quickly became a DISASTER!  The instructors swarmed to the office, shortly after this kid was admitted, and informed my boss about how this kid was throwing NARCISSISTIC TANTRUMS every time the instructor spoke to another student!  This brat was academically dismissed AGAIN and his parents were told that it was THEIR SON'S responsibility to apply himself academically and NOT DEMAND THAT WE BABYSIT!  Many parents either could not or would not understand that colleges and universities are NOT responsible to babysit their kids NOR undo the academic damage that accumulated during their kids' grade-school years!

Bones

[HeartofPilgrimage]

Thanks, everybody, for positive input. Sealynx, this student was astute enough to wait til class was over to go on her rant. She was still horribly inappropriate and disrespectful, but did not risk the disapproval of the rest of the class. But, I am going to put your suggestions in the "vault" for future reference --- if I end up teaching again, it's likely to happen again with someone. I actually have decided that I prefer working at the community college level, with students who have had some life experience (sometimes hard life experience) before going back to college. They are not as academically prepared for college, but quite often the attitude is much better.

[Sealynx]

HP,
I wish the community college level were better. That is where I teach and unfortunately we are MORE likely to get the certifiable crazies! It has even been written about. Many aren't together enough to do well on entrance tests and many CC's are open admission. There are now more two year college jobs than four year.

Good luck whatever you do, just don't hesitate to contact your supervisor or even have a talk with campus security, even if the student attacked you outside of class. I have gotten attack emails form students and I always report those because I have no idea what the student looks like and don't want them coming up to me in attack mode out of the blue.

That student was essentially telling you how to run your class and making you apprehensive about speaking to them again. That is not okay. If she can't control her temper and answer a simple question with yes or no, she doesn't belong in the college environment and I would certainly not want her to be granted a degree bearing my institutions name! I think that feeling is shared by many. We want to be proud of our graduates and have employers look to us for new hires.

I think you may find that, with time, it may actually be healing to deal with these disruptive students. For once, "the power" is on your side.