Hi CB
YES! I have often wondered what went on in my mother's mind. She was raised on a farm and was made to work hard, ploughing fields, with scoliosis and 'walking' spina bifida which put her in a wheelchair at age 47. She died at age 86. I think she developed her 'inability' to talk about things from fear of her father. I always, when young, thought he was a nice grandfather, but as I got older, in my teens, I saw a sterness in him, and anger, which only story I know was that he lost much money in stocks, and Mom always feared ending up in the 'poor house'.
She was never able to carry on a personal conversation with me, so I expect with the other girls (sisters) either. I think she really knew little about living and life, and her mother died before Mom was married. If she said anything to me, it was to ask about a sister of mine, not to talk about /with me. That is why I often felt I bluffed my way through life by the seat of my pants, knowing so little of the finer things, details of necessities, and I fear I did pick up wrong information just by listening to/following others. I often borrowed books from the library on different topics, social graces, proper modes of dress (which length of gloves for which occasion,,,don't wear black to your sister's wedding, which I found out too late for my eldest sister and wore black, 1956. It's okay now though)
This climatized me to dislike change, because who was going to tell me?
I never hated my mother, but felt more sorrow for the things she missed in life which in turn caused me to miss them too, and my sisters never passed down any wisdom that they gleaned from friends. I don't remember learning from girl friends at school, more at work after I was 17.
I saw a psychic once, and could ask questions. I asked about my mother and I remember his remark about not being able to see her mouth, and that meant she had much to say but was unable to say it! I can believe that!
xx
Izzy
