Author Topic: A bit shocked  (Read 1507 times)

Lucky

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A bit shocked
« on: November 09, 2009, 06:45:34 AM »
Last Saturday evening we visited a cousin of mine. While we were talking about my parents she suddenly told me that my sister as a very young child had been in the hospital because of malnutrition. My sister and I knew that my sister had been in hospital at a very young age. We were told because of continuous diarrhoea. Now I am thinking all the time if it could be true, if it could have been malnutrition. I saw my sister yesterday evening but did not tell her anything because I am afraid it could be disquieting information.

Nonameanymore

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Re: A bit shocked
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2009, 06:58:39 AM »
Dear Lucky,

I am really sorry to hear about your sister.

I am starting to think that nutrition issues are very common amongst us daughters of Ns, as food is a big issue for me today as well. NM let me starve whereas NGM stuffed me to death and took me to the hospital because she thought I had adrenal problems (sorry don't know the exact disease she claimed I was suffering from in English...)

Maybe your sister already knows but never discussed it with you?

P.

Lucky

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Re: A bit shocked
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2009, 07:20:48 AM »
The sick thing is that yesterday evening I was discussing with my sister the fact that my parents never wanted to spend much time, money and energy on us. My sister said: "the only thing they did was feed and clothe us." And ofcourse the first thing that I though was: "not even that apparently!" I think my sister would not have made that remark if she had already heard from somebody else in our family. I feel so terribly sorry for my sister (assuming that the malnutrition story is true).

Nonameanymore

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Re: A bit shocked
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2009, 07:28:18 AM »
Hi Lucky,

I thought she may have looked into her medical history - I presume these things would be on her file.

If it makes you feel any better, our fridge was empty with a jar of mustard in it, and if there was a yoghurt that belonged to NM, I was not allowed to touch it. She taught me how to cook pasta and one day I came home from school and was starving so I made some and ate it around 1pm. She came home at 7pm and I told her that I cooked. So I heated and served it and put it on the table for her. She then asked me where was my plate. When I said I ate at 1pm she threw the plate towards the floor and shouted at me, asking how dare I eat when she was out making money for the food that I disrespectfuly had consumed without her. I know this isn't even in the vicinity of going to the hospital for malnutrition, but food issues don't shock me. Until today, I have a big problem spending money on food and when somebody treats me to a dinner, I always take the cheapest thing on the menu, even if I don't like it.

P.

Lucky

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Re: A bit shocked
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2009, 07:31:33 AM »
(((((Persephone))))), your story is a bad enough horror story.  I am truly very sorry to hear it.

Nonameanymore

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Re: A bit shocked
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2009, 07:34:28 AM »
Thanks Lucky.

Maybe you are right and your sister shouldn't find out about it.
I bet your (N)M had it covered pretty well. Are your parents alive? Are you thinking of confronting them with this information?

P.

Ami

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Re: A bit shocked
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2009, 07:37:19 AM »
((((P)))))          ((((Lucky)))))            It is so sad to hear those stories.                          xxxoo Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Lucky

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Re: A bit shocked
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2009, 07:52:22 AM »
I have never seen my own medical history so it is possible that my sister does not know everything about hers. She was very small at the time and does not have a conscious memory of what happened. Maybe things got wiped under the carpet a bit.
Our parents are still alive yes but I don't think I will confront them.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2009, 07:54:11 AM by Lucky »

JustKathy

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Re: A bit shocked
« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2009, 10:37:55 AM »
My NM used food as a weapon when we were children. In my case, she tried constantly to fatten me up, to make me "ugly." She would stock the house with the most fattening gross junk food imaginable, and force me to clean my plate. When I got to high school, I would throw away the junk food she gave me for lunch, and run to the grocery store that was next to the school, and buy fruit.

Conversely, NM tried to force a healthy diet on my brother, the GC. She would buy him fruits and vegetables, skim milk. There was a separation in the fridge of my food and his food. If he reached for some junk food, M would yell, "No, the doughnuts are for Kathy."

The net effect was that, as adults, our diets went in the opposite direction of what N forced on us. I began eating healthy, and dropped to an ideal weight and appearance. My brother started making up for lost time by eating bacon, French fries, any fatty food he could stuff in his body. He's naturally thin, so has never shown any weight gain from it, but I shudder to think of what his arteries must look like.

NM is angry over all of this. She wanted complete control over every aspect of our lives, including our bodies. It's a pretty severe form of control, maybe one of the worst.

Nonameanymore

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Re: A bit shocked
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2009, 10:52:07 AM »
Kathy this is horrible...was she maybe jealous of your looks and wanted to fatten you up?

P.