Childhood Injuries

[Butterfly]

Hi, All.  I have not posted on this forum in a long time.  But, I used to post on the NGE forum, and I know many friends are here. 

I have learned over the past year or so that I have bone misalignments in my face that cause pain and headaches.  (jaw, nose, etc.)  Two separate surgeons told me that my injuries are indicative of physical abuse/neglect as an infant.  Most likely I was punched in the face and/or dropped on my head but received no medical attention.  I also learned several years ago that my Nparents removed me from a hospital after having surgery when I was quite young--this was done against the advice of my doctors.  (I have the medical records from the hospital stating just that.)  The result was a severe infection, adhesions, pain, etc.  But, again, this did not come to light until years later. 

While I do remember a lot of emotional and verbal abuse from my FOO, I do not recall severe physical beatings from childhood.  However, this information about my physical history has made me wonder how much more surreptitious abuse I endured as a young one. 

Is anyone else now aware of previously secret/unknown physical abuse or neglect?  I know N mothers are constantly concerned with appearances, and it seems to me that this type of sneaky abusive behavior would fit in with their warped concept of sabotage and control. 

Thank you for your insights,

Joy

[Ami]

I am so, so sorry ((((Joy))))))                           Ami

[Sealynx]

I'm sure they removed you from the hospital because THEY were embarrassed at having to explain your being there to others. They may or may not have intentionally hurt you, but regardless what they did to you was horrible. It could be that the hospital incident caused them to be more careful in the future. Not more caring mind you...just more careful!!

I know that my father dropped my little sister on her head when she was an infant and didn't tell my mother. He was probably afraid of her, but his neglect of serious issues was a life long thing. I know I hid injuries from my mother because of her rages. My mother was  a nurse so she was attentive to the point of being invasive when it came to injuries. Since she couldn't relate emotionally she related physically in inappropriate ways.

Most of my injuries were emotional, from being treated in a very mechanical way. I'm sure everything was done on time and by the book but without love. Some of these N's are Borderline, which is in the same spectrum as NPD. Those are more likely to be the violent type physically and harm themselves and others. My feeling about childhood abuse is that when no one was looking they acted like mean children.

[Hopalong]

Joy.

Butterfly.

And you name yourself these...and you have survived with a voice.

There are no words for how it hurts to think of an infant treated that way.

My heart wrings and I hope you have been loving yourself very well for a very long time...

Add my love to the pot, please.

Hops

[binks]

I am so sorry Joy, that is truly awful.

Sealynx - I also hid injuries from my mother ( such as a nasty gash on my leg, still have the scar 40 years later) and as an adult, illnesses including a malignancy in my thyroid gland.

If it was a mild illness then she was OK and would fuss around in quite a pleasant way because she could then control me.

If it was something that needed dealing with such as going to hospital, she would act up to gain being the centre of attention. When I was 8 and broke by front teeth and split open my face in a bike accident, she was too 'overcome' to deal with me and my dad had to get a neighbour to help him.

Telling her about the malignancy would have given me  so much extra stress that it was easier to pretend it was a different thyroid condition.

[teartracks]

((((((((((Dear Joy))))))))))

Would love to hear more from you.   

tt

[Butterfly]

Thank you, all, so much for your compassionate replies.  It is good to be posting, here, again. 

Ahh, yes, Sealynx.  I do have memories of N mother "acting" kind when others were watching and, then, morphing into an evil witch when I was alone with her.  I recall this behavior vividly as to her verbal and emotional abuse.  So, why would it have been any different with the physical abuse/neglect . . . hmmm, gets me thinking . . .

Thank you, Hops.  My voice is getting louder, and I hope that soon I will no longer hear "her." 

Binks, your comment about your mom being overcome brought back more memories of my N mother not being able to "handle" any kind of urgent situation.  She would scream for my father, and he would scream at whoever was nearby.  Then, they would scream at each other and at us children and blame, lecture, etc.  So, the real emergency ended up being ignored in place of the dysfunction.  Yes, is it any wonder we kept things from them?  In fact, I had my period for over a year before N mother found out.  I would rather have been beaten than to share anything personal with her. 

Thanks again, everyone, for your support. 

Joy