Going on and on with a "joke"

[gratitude28]

My NM is like a child who doesn't know when a joke is no longer funny and keeps retelling it. Since she has no sense of nice humor, the "jokes" are often cruel to begin with. I think this is part of having no social compass. The jokes go from not-so-funny to creepy. Any actually humorous statements she makes are usually ones someone else told her (and I am guessing got some reaction so she was able to realize they were funny). Gosh, these people are like robots who have to learn all emotions, but never can.

[Nonameanymore]

at least she tells jokes! she could be going on and on with nasty stuff...
but i know exactly what you mean. they usually have a eureka moment and they have to tell the world about it!

P.

[Portia]

and sense of humour of a 2 year old? Sometimes vaguely funny, mostly boring (because it's adult content: in a 2 year old it might be funny, I guess).

[bearwithme]

  The jokes go from not-so-funny to creepy.

LOL!!!  

Okay, that's funny and oh-so-true!  My NM has no sense of humor with me but with other people she's jolly-jokester, but in a weird way.  My NM makes fun of fat people like that dating reality show (the bachelor) that was on a few months ago about a semi-overweight guy that had to pick from several women who were overweight themselves.  On this particular episode all the women had to get into bathing suits for a pool scene with the guy and most of the girls were in tears about it. Most had not worn a swimsuit in years and some were terrified to go public in swimsuit bearing all their body flaws, etc.  So when it came time for all the girls to come out of the pool cabana in their swimsuits, as the guy was waiting in the pool, some girls ran to the side and some jumped in the pool laughing and/or embarrassed so they wanted to hide in the water:  My NM was laughing hysterically at them saying, "Look at that!  Look at that big one!  Oh my God, look at the size of her! Oh, look, look, look...look at her rolls and see her jiggle like jelly ahhhh hhaaaaaa ahhhhha haaaaaaa!!!"

NM was laughing so hard it made me sick.  I wanted to vomit. I looked at my NM at that moment and thought: "How the hell did I come from this monster?"   I must not be related, I couldn't be!

Mind you, NM is 45 pounds overweight and looks very heavy for her height.  I remember someone said here on this board, can't remember who, that N's don't have a reality based self body image especially the aging N.

N's aren't funny.  Period.

Bear

[nolongeraslave]

That's horrible, Bear. People tell me my mom is funny, but maybe it's b/c they don't have to live with her.

Or maybe they're laughing AT HER and just don't want to offend me.

[binks]

Mind you, NM is 45 pounds overweight and looks very heavy for her height.  I remember someone said here on this board, can't remember who, that N's don't have a reality based self body image especially the aging N.

N's aren't funny.  Period.

Bear

They don't have a reality based body image! My NM keeps a photo of herself aged 17 stuck to the mirror where she does her make up (she is 84). She has done this ever since I can remember.

She does have a sense of humour, however sometimes it is very cruel. If you don't find her 'jokes' funny because they are hurtful she accuses you of having no sense of humour or being too sensitive!

She also hated me laughing out loud when I was a child and told me I laughed like a witch and nobody wanted to hear me. Luckily it never stopped me laughing although it hurt my feelings.

[gratitude28]

Bear!!! OMG, that is so true. My mother laughs and laughs when someone/something is hurt or distressed. (One time she thought is was hilarious that a wild turkey was stuck on a frozen lake and looked so funny - she cackled about it for weeks, interjecting that she 'felt bad' for the poor thing). She also thinks she is still smoking hot - she has a picture of herself too... binks... and she thinks she is still gorgeous. In reality, she is grossly overweight.
Have you ever watched a movie with an N? My NM compares herself to every woman the entire movie... She talks the entire time, dissecting every person.

[HeartofPilgrimage]

My mom's family (including my mom) would poke fun at you about things you were sensitive about, and if you didn't think it was funny, YOU were the problem.

My dad on the other hand had a self-deprecating style of humor, and would tell funny jokes about himself, and I adopted that style. Some people might think it's because we think less of ourselves, but that's not it. Actually, seeing the humor in the things I do or say or in my experiences helps me accept myself. If somebody else can get a laugh about some ridiculous mistake I make, it kind of redeems the situation!

A cousin (who is very like me in personality) lost her 90 year old mom this week. When she called to tell me she said, "I've just got to tell you about this --- 'cause this kind of s**t only happens to us" ... and then proceeded to tell how when the funeral home worker came to get her mom's body, he was this little tiny guy and although her mom was only about 85 pounds, he almost dropped her body! My cousin was sitting in the hospital room and jumped up and grabbed her mom's ankles and heaved her up onto the gurney. She said her mom was probably close by in spirit laughing hysterically. Of course, "that kind of s**t" doesn't only happen to me and her, but we're two of the few that would tell it! I would much rather tell something ridiculous that happened to me than make fun of somebody else.

But of the family members that poke fun at you against your will, if you act hurt or upset they will go on and on and on with it. It is a sore spot that they will poke any time they can. You learn early to pretend it doesn't matter.

[Ami]

 The jokes go from not-so-funny to creepy.

LOL!!!  

Okay, that's funny and oh-so-true!  My NM has no sense of humor with me but with other people she's jolly-jokester, but in a weird way.  My NM makes fun of fat people like that dating reality show (the bachelor) that was on a few months ago about a semi-overweight guy that had to pick from several women who were overweight themselves.  On this particular episode all the women had to get into bathing suits for a pool scene with the guy and most of the girls were in tears about it. Most had not worn a swimsuit in years and some were terrified to go public in swimsuit bearing all their body flaws, etc.  So when it came time for all the girls to come out of the pool cabana in their swimsuits, as the guy was waiting in the pool, some girls ran to the side and some jumped in the pool laughing and/or embarrassed so they wanted to hide in the water:  My NM was laughing hysterically at them saying, "Look at that!  Look at that big one!  Oh my God, look at the size of her! Oh, look, look, look...look at her rolls and see her jiggle like jelly ahhhh hhaaaaaa ahhhhha haaaaaaa!!!"

NM was laughing so hard it made me sick.  I wanted to vomit. I looked at my NM at that moment and thought: "How the hell did I come from this monster?"   I must not be related, I couldn't be!

Mind you, NM is 45 pounds overweight and looks very heavy for her height.  I remember someone said here on this board, can't remember who, that N's don't have a reality based self body image especially the aging N.

N's aren't funny.  Period.

Bear

I hope you are not mad at me but I am laughing HYSTERICALLY!
My NM ridicules heavy people ,too.                   xxxoo   Ami


Do you think that they are just like kids in their thinking? Does that account for this??? Somebody help me here.

[bearwithme]

Ami wrote:

  I hope you are not mad at me but I am laughing HYSTERICALLY!
My NM ridicules heavy people ,too.                   xxxoo   Ami


Do you think that they are just like kids in their thinking? Does that account for this??? Somebody help me here

No of course I'm not mad, Ami!! When I read your post I started laughing myself. I'm still chuckling because I think this thread is really funny.

Binks:  My good gawd.  A picture of herself at age 17???  I think that is when your N peeked in life maybe?  So she's hanging on to "what could have been." 

She also hated me laughing out loud when I was a child and told me I laughed like a witch and nobody wanted to hear me. Luckily it never stopped me laughing although it hurt my feelings

  KEEP LAUGHING!!!!!!  She's the witch.

Gratitude:

(One time she thought is was hilarious that a wild turkey was stuck on a frozen lake and looked so funny - she cackled about it for weeks, interjecting that she 'felt bad' for the poor thing). She also thinks she is still smoking hot - she has a picture of herself too... binks... and she thinks she is still gorgeous. In reality, she is grossly overweight

I couldn't stop laughing a this one.  Sorry.  In a weird way the N's are funny when we write down this stuff that they do so maybe they are funny but at our expense!!  Hey, that doesn't bother me!  I was hysterical when I read about her still thinking she's "smoking hot.....but she's grossly overweight"  What gives here?? Don't they own a frickin mirror????

Heartofpil:

A cousin (who is very like me in personality) lost her 90 year old mom this week. When she called to tell me she said, "I've just got to tell you about this --- 'cause this kind of s**t only happens to us" ... and then proceeded to tell how when the funeral home worker came to get her mom's body, he was this little tiny guy and although her mom was only about 85 pounds, he almost dropped her body! My cousin was sitting in the hospital room and jumped up and grabbed her mom's ankles and heaved her up onto the gurney. She said her mom was probably close by in spirit laughing hysterically. Of course, "that kind of s**t" doesn't only happen to me and her, but we're two of the few that would tell it! I would much rather tell something ridiculous that happened to me than make fun of somebody else.

But of the family members that poke fun at you against your will, if you act hurt or upset they will go on and on and on with it. It is a sore spot that they will poke any time they can. You learn early to pretend it doesn't matter.

This was funny   And you are so right about wanting to tell something ridiculous that happened to you than to make fun of somebody else!!! I'm the same in that way and share things with my brother like that all the time, we always say, "OMG, you won't believe what I did!"  My NM's family members poke fun of everyone else as well but oh lordy, if you go anywhere near them with a comment, look out!! All hell breaks loose and someone ends up storming out of the room in a rage.  I'm laughing as I type, of course.

Ami:  I do think N's are childlike in their thinking and their sense of humor has not matured enough to be respected.  Their more apt to ridicule and laugh like an 11 year old playgorund bully.  I think they are especially cruel to their own children because when they make fun of their own child, the face of someone who has caused them pain is put on them like a mask so they have to react.  Don't know if that makes sense...

Bear

[gratitude28]

I love that you guys always give me such insight! I am also able to laugh at myself!!! My dad is like that too! And, yes, she loves to pick on whatever she thinks is a flaw in me and then tells me it's just a joke. Sooooooooooo true! It's funny, when I look at a picture of myself, I am so critical. But I think NM looks at a picture of herself and is able to warp it into a glamorous shot in her mind. This has turned into a fun and useful thread! Thanks so much!

[Ami]

((((Everyone with NM's)))))) We need it!!!                           xxxoo  Ami