Author Topic: Just want to vent  (Read 1494 times)

Twoapenny

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Just want to vent
« on: December 17, 2009, 01:17:24 PM »
Hi all,

I am just feeling a bit down in the dumps and want to get it off my chest; I'm sorry!  As some of you know, my mum has been making malicious allegations about me for years about my little boy.  I am getting our records through covering the last eight years and there are literally hundreds of pages of information.  Every time something unpleasant has been written about us it has come from my mum but it's only me that knows it's her; the allegations have, for the most part, been made anonymously and I only know it's her because of the content of what's been said (hard to describe without writing pages but you know there are phrases that only your mum uses?  And there are some things so outlandish and unlikely that they are clearly fabricated and can't simply be a misunderstanding of some sort).  Because of the Data Protection Laws in the UK, I am not allowed to see anything in my records unless the author of them has given their consent.  So things like being able to prove it's her because of her handwriting, for example, are out because I can't see the original letter.  It's all very complicated because lots of different things have gone on and now I have this latest referral to the education welfare people to deal with as well.

I've been doing some research and it seems the only way I can get anything done is to take each case to court.  This means I will be looking at launching between three and six legal cases next year, assuming I can get together enough evidence for each of them to get a solicitor interested.  It will mean a huge amount of preparation and paperwork because I can only prove the allegations are false by cross referencing sometimes dozens of different files to show that her claims were unsubstantiated and contradictory.  I have already been fighting for nearly three years to get something done through the complaints and adjudication bodies and it has cost me around £1500 in stationary, printing, photocoyping, postage and so on.  I can see it getting a lot worse before it gets any better and I am aware that I might do a lot of work and not actually get anywhere with it.

I just feel down that there is no protection from the system?  I feel that what she did is just as bad as physically assaulting me but the law seems to work in her favour because she can make allegations again and again and there's nothing anyone can do to stop her.  I'm also so disappointed that the police did so little and feel like they didn't take me seriously or believe what I was saying.  My step-dad stopped my nephew in the street last week and physically threatened him - he's only seventeen.  My mum has sent a card to my son anonymously, so I can't prove it was her but I know it was because no-one else I know is mad enough to behave like that - the whole point of sending a card is signing your name on it, after all!  I also feel resigned to having this hanging over me until either my son is eighteen (another ten years) or my mum is dead.  It feels like I'm the one being punished and just feels so unfair.

Anyways, I know there's nothing anyone can do, just wanted to get it out of my system with people I know understand!  Thanks for reading xx

BonesMS

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Re: Just want to vent
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2009, 05:53:32 AM »
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((TwoAPenny)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

Nonameanymore

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Re: Just want to vent
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2009, 08:13:20 AM »
hi tap,

i can really identify because i had to deal with such things myself, only NM actually sued me in the past and has discredited me and publicly humilated me, to friends and family, people who know me little or a lot and her last public attack was when she posted this humiliating comment on myspace that it's too embarassing to even mention here.

I sympathise with you especially when these accusations you mention are 'anonymous' (she probably thinks of herself as 'a kind stranger' who wants to help you - at least this is what my NM does say to people). It must be hell. But I am sure you can handle it!

Love and hugs
P.

Ami

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Re: Just want to vent
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2009, 10:50:36 AM »
((((Twoapenny)))) XXOOO   Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

cantors.counter

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Re: Just want to vent
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2009, 04:19:45 PM »
Twoapenny, what an awful and frustrating situation. I'm sorry your NM has decided to target you and your son. N's can be such petty people. I don't know much about the UK system, but I wish you success in finding a solution that works without too many (and?) complications. (((((((((hugs)))))))))

Cantors

nolongeraslave

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Re: Just want to vent
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2009, 11:58:49 AM »
I'm so sorry twoapenny. Much love and success to you.

I do believe in karma, and your NM will be getting what's coming to her.  The truth comes always comes out, IMO.

Hopalong

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Re: Just want to vent
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2009, 07:15:58 PM »
Hi Tupp,

For 2010, two suggestions, just to keep it simple (as if it were, I know it's not):

Document

then

detach.

You deserve to be able to think about other things and enjoy your boy and your own life this new year!

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Just want to vent
« Reply #7 on: December 25, 2009, 04:40:32 PM »
Twopenny:

I understand, and have this to add:

The "system" doesn't know who's telling the truth.

They don't realize they're being wieled by abusive lying people, who continue to harm you and your son.

They don't seem to have the resources to discern who's the victim and who's abusive, which is worse than unfortunate, IMO.

You're on your own, attempting to weather the storm, while bending your mind to possible forms of relief, all of which take time and money away from your special needs son.

It's a terrible position to be in.

You don't know what they'll do next, and the threats keep flowing.

I wish I had answers for you, my dear.

All I can offer is understanding and emotional support.

You're doing the right/imortant things...... caring for your son and shielding him as best you can.

He won't be so young and vulnerable forever.

As Hops says...... document and don't take things personally.

Merry Christmas,

Mo2