Does anyone have dreams about the N(s)---and

[Izzy_*now*]

if so, are they behaving as they did in real life?

I have had a few recently and the N-boss (ex) was exactly the same "Oh you bought that kind of ground meat, did you?" put-downs

Had quite a few of ex SIL, and he is always taking over my house, owing me rent and messing up my life. Well he took over my daughter, borrowed $55,000.00 and messed up my life. All fixed now!

N-sister is always opposing me in dreams.

Finally I meet a new guy, in my dreams, some time ago, He never had a face, and once was needing some teeth fixed and I knew he was balding but never saw his face. Last night he was back, in church, all fixed up, with new hair and nice teeth, and my N-sister couldn't get him to pay attention to her. He was all mine and attentive!

Anyway. I still find it a pleasure to awaken im my home, alone and responsible for no one but myself, and dealing with my life.

Izzy
Edit--Oh I saw his face finally, last night too. He looked like actor Corbin Berensen, with hair.

[teartracks]

Iz,

Where my past FOO dysfunctions are concerned I only have this one recurring dream with the basic symbolic theme (I'm supposing) of an old unfinished mansion.  Sometimes it's unfinished and sometimes it's just in bad repair.  I can never make sense of it. 

I've only been entangled with two people I consider to be N's.   I know people who are N's, but I am not entangled with them.

And about the old men in our dreams or the for real ones, I like this...

Forever and Ever, Amen!

You may think that I'm talking foolish
You've heard that I'm wild and I'm free
You may wonder how, I can promise you now
This love that I feel for you always will be...

You're not just time that I'm killing
I'm no longer one of those guys
As sure as I live
This love that I give
Is gonna be yours until the day that I die!

Oh baby, I'm gonna love you forever
Forever and Ever, Amen
As long as old men...sit and talk about the weather,
As long as old women sit and talk about old men!
If you wonder how long I'll be faithful
I'll be happy to tell you again
I'm gonna love you, forever and ever
Forever and ever, Amen

They say time takes its toll on a body
Makes a young girl's brown hair turn gray
Well honey I don't care
I ain't in love with your hair
And if it all fell out... Well I'd love you anyway
Well they say time can play tricks on a memory
Make people forget things they knew
Well it's easy to see...it's 'happenin to me
I've already forgotten every woman but you

Oh 'darlin, I'm gonna love you forever
Forever and ever, Amen
As long as old men...sit and talk about the weather,
As long as old women sit and talk about old men!
If you wonder how long I'll be faithful
Just listen to how this song ends
I'm gonna love you, forever and ever
Forever and ever, Amen

Yes, I'm gonna love you
Forever and ever
forever and ever
Forever and ever
Forever and ever, Amen.

[Izzy_*now*]

TT...Randy Travis eh?

So no Ns show their faces in your dreams? Mine do and that is why I am glad to wake up and be alone without them. I also believe that my dreams are telling me me that I was 'right' in the way I perceived their disordered ways of treating me.

xx
Iz

[Ami]

I have dreams about my parents as literal tigers, predators, trying to get in to my house. The first time I had the dream, they were in the house and I was hiding in the bushes. The second time, I was in the house and locked the door so they could only get in the yard.
Maybe, next time I will call the animal exterminator!                                                   Ami

[Sealynx]

I've never had dreams of either of my parents. I think they just don't represent anything in my life. I was almost always alone in my dreams when I was growing up. When I was with someone they were not people I knew in real life and often spoke "telepathically" in dreams. I did have dreams that were fearful and most of the time they were highly symbolic.

I remember one that I think may have been related to my feelings about the family. I think I was around 16 when I had it.

I was in a swamp around sunset. The sky was gray with a persistent drizzle. Dead trees stuck out of the water everywhere. (symbolic of my feelings and state of mind) An old mansion lay before me. I walked up to it and don't remember what was in the rooms except for a balcony that surrounded a courtyard in the middle of the house. An old woman with blue eyes was throwing a line of people off the balcony one by one. Those eyes looked like my last memory of my paternal grandmother who died when I was six. She was a scary woman, mean by all accounts, who had lost her voice because of a stroke. The last time I saw her I  sensed something would soon change and went up and hugged her for the first and last time.

In the courtyard below was a swimming pool but the people were falling on the sidewalk and shattering like hollow pottery when they hit. The woman seemed to be mindlessly doing a job and the people just stood there waiting their turn to be demolished.

I started running and immediately found myself in a different place. It felt like a movie set made up of the facades of endless row houses. All were identical red brick houses with a short staircase leading up to a ground floor above a basement. They reminded me of some houses we had passed in Buffalo NY on our one family vacation to visit an aunt. We had left her home in Ohio for the day to drive up to  Niagara Falls. On that vacation my father seemed to enjoy parts of the trip which was supposed to be focused only on going to visit my aunt and he'd already let us stay overnight in the smokey mountains. Between my mother's fears and control needs and my father
s refusal to spend money, we never did anything fun.

Suddenly a trap door opened and the Frankenstein monster came out of from beneath what I could now see was a huge underground factory filled with gears and machinery. The monster began to chase me. Looking back I think that part of the dream was about my subconsciously connecting with the fact that there were always things going on under the surface in our family and they could erupt in scary ways at any time.

[Worn]

I've had quite a few dreams about my nm, my f and the house I grew up in. 

I've had a few dreams where nm shows up and I start pounding her with my fists.  It never seems to faze her.  I'm very angry but powerless to do her any harm.  She's always wearing a red dress in these dreams. 

One dream that was quite scary was in my old house.  Someone or something is trying to break in and I just keep running around trying to lock all the doors.  There are tons of doors and someone seems to be going behind me and unlocking them.  Probably related to never feeling safe at home. 

Ami, I had a dream kind of like yours.  I'm in my own apartment but it's made entirely out of window screens so anyone can see in.  My parents come over and start knocking on the door.  I keep trying to find a place to hide but there is no place.  I remember I have a huge fish tank in the dream and I can totally relate to the fish having no privacy.

I had a dream last night that I was about 12-15 and my family had decided to sell our house immediately and without telling me.  I'm very angry throughout the whole dream.  I keep punching holes in the walls and otherwise tearing things up.  I run away in part of it but they find me again.  My sister tries to calm me down but I lash out at her too.  Everyone acts like everything is fine and ignore my behavior even though it's extremely disruptive. 

Dreams are strange.  I go through times where I will hardly have any memorable dreams at all and then times when I will have one almost every night.  Does anyone else get emotional in their dreams?  Angry, sad, etc?  Sharon

[cantors.counter]

I didn't dream about my Nparents until I started to understand my oddities. They do behave as they do/did IRL. I'm usually pretty shook up when I awaken. In fact, it's not unusual for me to wake-up screaming out of sheer frustration. My poor dh.

[nolongeraslave]

Everytime I go back "home", I have nightmares of my mom raping me.

It's about her trying to control and overpower me. It's not about sex, but it's fascinating how my dreams take the form of rape. I've started to call her a "mental rapist", because it feels like she is raping your mind and won't take no for an answer.


In my dreams, she's forcing me down and having sex with me. So weird.

[Nonameanymore]

Hi Izzy and everyone,

I have dreams about NM when things go bad in my life and usually I dream of her a day or two something really bad happens. Not sure if this is a coincidence but I am scared shitless every time this happens.
I have had a variety of dreams - from straightforward interfering in my life to very elaborate ones...

P.

[Ales2]

Here is the recurring dream I have about my N/Bully boss from two years ago. Keep this in mind, I'm 5-9, 150 lbs and a marathon runner. Relatively strong, but still, a woman. My boss was barely 5-9, 210, very flabby and all in his gut. Cant touch his toes, a total klutz and cant run a block without getting winded.

The dream I have is him calling me from the window sill. He's fallen out of the window (and he is afraid of heights) and he keeps calling for me. When I get to the window, he tells me he has no confidence in my abilities. He's rendering me helpless, he knows if try to help him, I will fail (because he's bigger than me and he has no faith in me), yet he's the one who needs my help.  I tell him I will run back to get help and call 911.  When I leave, I realize he knows me too well- he calls me there because if I try to help and I fail, I will feel guilty. Yet, if I leave him, to get help and  he falls before help arrives, I will feel guilty as well. Either way, he knows he's a dead man, but he cant resist involving me to make me feel guilty and telling me how incompetent I am.

Two years later and I still have nightmares about this boss. Ouch.

[Butterfly]

When I was younger, I had a recurrent dream about being lost in the family home.  In my dream I was very young, running around the dark house, calling for mommy, and crying hysterically.  No one ever came to find me. 

Years later, as an adult, I was looking through old photos and found one of me at approximately age 2 or 3 standing alone in my bedroom crying and holding some blue ribbons.  For some reason, the photo really jolted me, but I could not remember anything about it on a conscience level.  When I asked NM about it, she told me that she specifically remembered taking the photo because, she said, "You were so cute that day while you were crying hysterically because you couldn't find me anywhere.  I was hiding from you, and your reaction was so funny."  She actually enjoyed causing me to be terrorized. 

So, while I never dream about NM, I have had dreams about my young self and my emotions that are a direct result of NM's abuse. 

I know now that only my "inner mother" can help me get past my old life under NM's control.  I would love to conjure up a dream about her--myself as my own mother--to soothe the terror. 

[Worn]

I had a dream recently that I was grown and back at my parent's house.  I was planning on going somewhere and was getting ready.  My mom was trying everyway to get info out of me to see where I was going.  She was manipulating, whining, threatening, etc.  I finally got in her face and said no I'm not going to tell you, now what are you going to do, hit me?  She growled in an animalistic way and backed off.  I knew in my dream she wouldn't stop, would just use new tactics so I left with my friends that picked me up.  For some reason I came back later to get my stuff.  My mom had hired assassin's to burn the house down and kill the family.  She was leading them while pretending to still be on her family's side.  I gathered my stuff and ran through the woods to get away from them.  I talked about this dream with my T.  He thought the same thing as I did, I stood up to her, I fought back, I got away and I succeeded.  A pretty big shift for me, I usually rage helplessly at her.  I woke up from this dream pumped full of adrenaline, fight or flight and I was definitely doing that in my dream.  I guess I finally feel like I have the strength to fight her.  I told my T once that I feel like I've been at war with her since the day I was born.  Now I'm finally getting the tools to fight back.  Feels good. Sharon

[HeartofPilgrimage]

I have dreams about my childhood home. The first time was a couple years ago when I dreamed that we were emptying it out because it had been sold. Every time I thought it was empty, I would discover more closets or rooms of stuff that needed emptying. In this dream I had both kids and grandkids, and everybody was there but nobody was helping me do the job. Finally I had a "lucid" moment in my dream and realized that I was never going to finish. I was just going to have to accept that some things were undone and leave. We/I packed everything into two hearses and left on a long journey through the city and into the country ... it was a long dream and after that point it got confused.

I had another long and detailed dream where I was running from someone or something through my childhood neighborhood. It was night and I was going through people's backyards and such.

Then I've had several dreams where my childhood home is there but the neighborhood is scary (which I believe is rooted in fact, it has become a rundown part of town). But there is something sad and alien about these dreams ... I have much more attachment to the house when I'm dreaming these dreams than I do in real life. And the landscape around the house itself is huge and barren.

A house is usually thought to represent the self. So in the first dream I guess I have done a lot of inner work on myself, and maybe at the time I needed to balance the inner work with "getting on with it" in life. I think the two hearses might have represented my parents (my dad is dead but my mom is living) and might have been a message to learn to accept that the job of "cleaning house" might never be absolutely complete. Maybe. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure what to make of the recurring dreams about the old neighborhood. They don't happen often --- maybe once a month or less frequently.

[JustKathy]

I have dreams about M all the time, but not of actual situations. I dream of going to visit her, and having her lock me in the closet where I'm trapped, pounding on the door and no one comes. I was never locked in a closet, but there must be some kind of message there, perhaps that of being trapped with no way out? I don't know. I have VERY frequent dreams, and none of them are recounts of actual events, but there must be a meaning there. Usually I'm a teenager in the dreams, so my mind is going back to the worst time of my life with her.