I was under the guise that my "poor" NM had suffered so much and how everyone wronged her. So, I often did things to please her and tried to keep her happy.
The truth ALWAYS comes out later. She's the one that has wronged other people, and is getting what she wants compared to other people out there.
It is as if you are talking about the dynamic between my mother and me. Exactly the same.
,,,,,,me too. I always felt gulty that she was so unhappy, and assumed it was because she needed me, or my sisters, more attention, more 'love'. An unfillable black hole. But still, i felt bad for her.
Then, as an adult, I realised I was totally disposable. Soon as something came along that was better N. supply for her, I didnt exist for he if I was in the way of her getting her N.S. It sounds extreme, but deep down one senses the implied, symbolic agenda. Yet, no-one in the family of course would beileve that. And part of me knows this is in the deep psychic realm, not in the daylight. So the reality is on several levels. Yet we know, that that deep realm has influence, and invisible influence. Just not invisible to those who can see it, like people who find their way here! Yet we also have to live in the ordinary world. My task as I see it is to do that without iether being in exile, or compromising truth.
