yes there are trolls and in addition, finger pointing trolls as well.
there are also moles.
be careful of people who try to win your confidence unnecessarily. Do not become emotionally invested in any one poster. Look for consistency in their stories and attitudes and commitment to growth. If they seem committed to conflict, steer clear.
Instead, build your own intuition about what is emotionally safe for you. Invest in the process of this board. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts, which are the many voices here to speak truly about their own experiences.
we are not here to build alliances or coalitions but to speak and witness truth about bullying behavior. (hold the semantics about truth for now please.)
Remember that anger is not the same as abuse. It's all in how you express it and deal with it that makes the difference. An abuser will convince you that getting angry and/or holding them accountable is abuse. It isn't.
Name-calling, insults, etc is verbal abuse. We've all done in once in a while in a moment of weakness but when it is a hallmark of someone's communication style, it is abuse.
Keeping one's cool is not necessarily a sign of a nonabuser. There are the kinds of abusers who never get angry and can successfully drive their partner(s) to madness. The madness is only the effect. The abuser's cold cruelty is the cause. Invalidation is only one technique of the calm abuser.
Abusers do not change. Their behavior in controlling you is too rewarding to give up in exchange for your health.
Focus on growth, not on controlling games or drama.
A Troll Survivor
