Welcome to Romper Room!

[phoenix]

Jealousy and revenge are not my motives…I won’t address any posts regarding that. So if you care to, reread what was written and go from there. If you are really wanting the truth of my intentions you will have to let those ideas go. If you insist on it, it just shows that you don’t want to understand. You can say it in a hundred different languages colors type size, ect, but it won’t make it so.Those are not my motivations. Neither is hate.

Did I ignore you? Did you tell me about it? Nope. All in your head.

Did I ****make*** you invisible?

No you didn’t make me invisible, nor was that a complaint. Some people just aren’t in our radar, we don’t really see them. That is all. And I felt that with you. For me it was no big deal. Just telling you how I felt. I didn’t think you were unkind, either.  CG is the one to suggest that one meant the other. That because I felt unseen, that I took it as you being unkind.

you invite people into a thread to post about other people

Yes I did just that- to do here what they were doing already elsewhere.

you invite people to post anonymously, to fear owning their own voice

They have a choice in that matter…perhaps posting anonymous gives them greater freedom to say what they feel. Voicelessness isn’t about identity - it is about speaking your mind.

you can't abide people in ramble owning and expressing their own voice

That was not the issue with me.

you preoccupy yourself iwth other people's identity - what's it to you?

I don’t.
 

Portia hasn't been posting here for weeks, and you use something this negative to drawer her out and back to you. Why? Because she ignored you?

Was that it? She was ignoring me? See, there is my innocence- I never thought she was ignoring me. I was waiting for her to reply, I was even concerned for her. Maybe she was on holiday.  So now I see , she was stewing the whole time, instead of just talking to me about it.

 
for phoenix

i always been your friend here and on your side but now I feels concerned by the way you have returned with such a stuck energy.i was surprised at all the hard rehashing of things as you've very suddenly appeared with and especially that you started this new thread.

.

i’m sad because I think its made thing worse when thing were probably at the point where they passed and you could have come back and started fresh if you wanted. i am one who has missed your messages.


i’m also sad because it seems like you are hurting.please consider that it is not your responsibility to change the attitude and behaviors of all others and also that there are some things we may not like that we just can’t control and its ok.others will have their own good or the painful karma and the life feedback from what they say or do and they get sorted out for themselves.


you needs to decide what is important and worthy of your time and energy and fight in life and what isn’t.you are very smart woman and you don’t and never did have anything to prove to no one.

drop what wastes and misuses your time and soul and focus on what make your heart happy and fulfilled and bring you to a positive life road.

please don't allow outside forces that are not important to your life emotionally control you. they are only important to the point they can show you to see how strong your defenses are around some feelings already inside you before all this things. but really in this forum atmosphere they are harmless and neutral objects.you give any meaning to them that is harmful to you.look behind and see why you do it and then blow the defense feelings away in your hands like feathers and walk proudly forward.

the good wishes to you

No I am not hurting and I am not stuck. If anything I am unstuck. Sometimes you have to speak up and  be bold about it- because things haven’t changed, and just going through this, I see just how much they haven’t. No, I had to say all this. And I can tell you are saying this with care; your words are not lost on me.

No there is more to it than is seen.

I would rather go out in flames here with everyone hating me than be here silent and watch this continue with out saying something. Even if no one else understands or  approves.

I can’t not speak up. I can’t - too many other people have been hurt here. And the idea that it is not my business- well it is my business, because it eventually ends up on my doorstep... and has. In ways that aren't easily seen.

This has come from a deep pure part of me untethered by what I should, how I should.

Yes, I needed to say all this, and it feels  good.

It is odd,  looking at what I created. Boy what a mess, huh? Ugly, nasty mess. Maybe to see it from my viewpoint, outrageous as it is, it was necessary.  Oh, it was for me. And I am done with it.

[Anonymous]

Well folks there you have it. Straight from the horses mouth. The final word, it appears. And it was the same predictable old well-worn unchanging response we've grown to expect and even 'D-I-S' love from Phoenix.   zzzzzzzzzz

Onya Phoenix  

[Anonymous]

Jealousy and revenge are not my motives…I won’t address any posts regarding that. So if you care to, reread what was written and go from there. If you are really wanting the truth of my intentions you will have to let those ideas go. If you insist on it, it just shows that you don’t want to understand. You can say it in a hundred different languages colors type size, ect, but it won’t make it so.Those are not my motivations. Neither is hate.

Did I ignore you? Did you tell me about it? Nope. All in your head.

Did I ****make*** you invisible?

No you didn’t make me invisible, nor was that a complaint. Some people just aren’t in our radar, we don’t really see them. That is all. And I felt that with you. For me it was no big deal. Just telling you how I felt. I didn’t think you were unkind, either.  CG is the one to suggest that one meant the other. That because I felt unseen, that I took it as you being unkind.

you invite people into a thread to post about other people

Yes I did just that- to do here what they were doing already elsewhere.

you invite people to post anonymously, to fear owning their own voice

They have a choice in that matter…perhaps posting anonymous gives them greater freedom to say what they feel. Voicelessness isn’t about identity - it is about speaking your mind.

you can't abide people in ramble owning and expressing their own voice

That was not the issue with me.

you preoccupy yourself iwth other people's identity - what's it to you?

I don’t.
 

Portia hasn't been posting here for weeks, and you use something this negative to drawer her out and back to you. Why? Because she ignored you?

Was that it? She was ignoring me? See, there is my innocence- I never thought she was ignoring me. I was waiting for her to reply, I was even concerned for her. Maybe she was on holiday.  So now I see , she was stewing the whole time, instead of just talking to me about it.

 
for phoenix

i always been your friend here and on your side but now I feels concerned by the way you have returned with such a stuck energy.i was surprised at all the hard rehashing of things as you've very suddenly appeared with and especially that you started this new thread.

.

i’m sad because I think its made thing worse when thing were probably at the point where they passed and you could have come back and started fresh if you wanted. i am one who has missed your messages.


i’m also sad because it seems like you are hurting.please consider that it is not your responsibility to change the attitude and behaviors of all others and also that there are some things we may not like that we just can’t control and its ok.others will have their own good or the painful karma and the life feedback from what they say or do and they get sorted out for themselves.


you needs to decide what is important and worthy of your time and energy and fight in life and what isn’t.you are very smart woman and you don’t and never did have anything to prove to no one.

drop what wastes and misuses your time and soul and focus on what make your heart happy and fulfilled and bring you to a positive life road.

please don't allow outside forces that are not important to your life emotionally control you. they are only important to the point they can show you to see how strong your defenses are around some feelings already inside you before all this things. but really in this forum atmosphere they are harmless and neutral objects.you give any meaning to them that is harmful to you.look behind and see why you do it and then blow the defense feelings away in your hands like feathers and walk proudly forward.

the good wishes to you

No I am not hurting and I am not stuck. If anything I am unstuck. Sometimes you have to speak up and  be bold about it- because things haven’t changed, and just going through this, I see just how much they haven’t. No, I had to say all this. And I can tell you are saying this with care; your words are not lost on me.

No there is more to it than is seen.

I would rather go out in flames here with everyone hating me than be here silent and watch this continue with out saying something. Even if no one else understands or  approves.

I can’t not speak up. I can’t - too many other people have been hurt here. And the idea that it is not my business- well it is my business, because it eventually ends up on my doorstep... and has. In ways that aren't easily seen.

This has come from a deep pure part of me untethered by what I should, how I should.

Yes, I needed to say all this, and it feels  good.

It is odd,  looking at what I created. Boy what a mess, huh? Ugly, nasty mess. Maybe to see it from my viewpoint, outrageous as it is, it was necessary.  Oh, it was for me. And I am done with it.

We sure hope so     maybe now we can all get back to our own issues   .

[Anonymous]

Phoenix said - It is odd,  looking at what I created. Boy what a mess, huh? Ugly, nasty mess. Maybe to see it from my viewpoint, outrageous as it is, it was necessary.  Oh, it was for me. And I am done with it.[/quote][/u]

Sadly, yes, from your point of view, I guess all this ugliness was all necessary. It is all about you, after all.

[Anonymous]

So kind and true and wonderfully said, whoever you.

I was feeling like this message is the wholest and the sanest and most reasonable voice in this thread so I'm bringing it top-side  .

Then may I share my voice again...

phoenix - you have denied everything but offered nothing in its place.  You say 'come and talk about this topic' but offer nothing of your own other than denials.

What is the purpose of this thread?  I do not understand.  You brought someone else's nonsense post here - about CG/Portia/Solace being the same person - yet you also say that you are indifferent to other people's identities.  I can't make sense of this.  

Do you understand your own contradictions?  

It seems that the only purpose is to disrupt Ramble, cause chaos and re-create your OWN Ramble thread.

In Ramble, people vented their feelings about their lives and occasionally about the board and specific people.  I think they forgot sometimes that anyone else was around and reading!!  But at least it was honest and open and outcasts were offered a safe haven.  Now in the Romper Room, people are invited specifically to vent their feelings about individuals.  Well, I guess when we find our voice, speak out our truth, our voice will also hurt others.  It goes both ways, every which way.

But it doesn't have to be ugly and a mess.  We can re-create something good out of chaos.  Ramble and Romper can co-exist.  They can share and intermingle. Ramble has had many 'reincarnations' as its purpose has changed for the participants.  It has evolved.  The Romper Room can evolve, too. In time we could salve hurt feelings, salvage the broken pieces.  Will you allow that, will you help do that, phoenix?  The mess is fixable.  Would you like it to be fixed?  Or do you need the chaos and the mess more?

In thoughtful consideration.

[Dee]

I don't really care if the ramble thread exists, I just don't understand WHY it does. If people want to vent about other board members or give refuge to people like SOLACE (s and somebody), then do it by email, pm or calling each other on the dang phone if you're that invested. This is a board to talk about voicelessness...not about pushing Solace's agenda, talking about men, pets, gossiping, et. al. I just don't see anything positive about that particular thread except it serves a need to a select few people that don't seem that interested in posting on too many other threads.

Dee

[Anonymous]

I would rather go out in flames here with everyone hating me than be here silent and watch this continue with out saying something. Even if no one else understands or approves.

I can’t not speak up. I can’t - too many other people have been hurt here. ...In ways that aren't easily seen.

No there is more to it than is seen.

Phoenix-- very often, you keep mentioning about ways that have not been seen by others and there being a lot more to things going on than others here realise.

Maybe you could tell us what these things are so we could understand all of this better. We could know what you know. I can actually assure you that everyone here will not hate you as wondered but it could help people to understand all the "mystery" around things better. You might even be surprised at the support you get.

You could come clean with everything going on behind the scenes that you are speaking of and then wipe your hands of it. If you just come to the board and do messages about things most have no idea about then I am concerned for you that people will only be confused and judge you wrongly. Some, like me, would instinctively trust that you know exactly what you are doing, but to others it can seem very strange.  

Since you feel as strongly as you do about speaking up in the forum being the right path for you, wouldn't part of that be speaking the entire truth I wonder.

Also, if we as forum members need to be wary of something, I'd sure like to know.Though I do take my precautions in areas based on my own suspicions. Yes, some would not get the message and attack back but you'd reach some. I'd be listening. Besides, regarding attacking reactions, that cat has been out of the bag for a long time anyway so nothing new or lost.

Maybe you feel comfortable with things just as they are -- all of that is just food for thought.

Keep well my friend.

[Anonymous]

I joined this board a few weeks ago to gain support for dealing w/ the Ns in my life & to share stories (& maybe a little validation).  It appears I ended up in the wrong place...

[Another Guest]

Hello All...

I am trying to sort through my own feelings about this and understand what everyone else is saying.  I think I might agree with many folks here and forgive me if I am repeating something already said.

I have been having a difficult time understanding what actually bothers me about the Ramble thread.  I think that if members want to chat with each other publicly it should be ok.  The problem I have is when some members start to bully other people and receive support from their friends.  It feels like certain members have more "power" than others.  It creates a hostile atmosphere that may stop members and newcomers from feeling free to seek help here.  It does recreate the situations that made people voiceless in the first place.  That is why I choose to write as guest and maybe others feel that way too.  There are so many people on this board who are kind and caring.  Even the sometimes bullies can be very helpful, but the possibility of being attacked for expressing one's feelings/thoughts seems to just hang there.  

This is an open forum and I think Dr. Grossman keeps it that way for a reason.  Still, I think that we, as members, may want to consider, as part of our own healing journey, that we need to stop attacking one another. Personally, I would like to get to know most of the members more and hear from new people who want to share their stories.  I wish everyone could feel safer to discuss their feelings here.  

There has been so much speculation about who's who.  I've spent too much time thinking about it myself.  I've decided that if there are some people who are using more than one member name, oh well it's their energy that is being wasted.  I don't see how it actually hurts me.  

Anyways...thanks for listening.

[Another Guest]

Phoenix,

I forgot to say thank you for starting this thread.  I agree that it is helpful to have a place to discuss this.  Also, it does sound like you have more information than most of us.  I would also be interested in anything you would like to share.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I joined this board a few weeks ago to gain support for dealing w/ the Ns in my life & to share stories (& maybe a little validation). It appears I ended up in the wrong place...

Sorry-- but haven't you seen the gazillion other threads in this forum?

There is much more helping and sharing going on by comparison.  

You are in the right place. Don't read two threads and share away in all others!

Welcome  

[phoenix]

I have had two others over the course of my time here pm me about CG and what I call her method. Both asked me if they didn’t feel they were being singled out with her jabs in the dark. It is like the person who only shows that devil face for you, because they know you are onto them. I could see exactly what she was doing. CG is cunning and mean. I put nothing past her.

This is not my version of Ramble, neither is it for me to feel any who want to add here has the exact same viewpoint as I do. My dislike for S is wholly different than her husband issue, which is a point of real contention with others.

 I don’t think CG and Portia are the same. But I  think there are many posters that that come here and are fabrications  - I  will go so far as to say fabrications of parts of my life for one, and I can tell that these posters are going to scroll off never to be heard from again. I see things I can not defend, but when you see enough of them – it becomes apparent. It’s like a black hole, you can’t see it, but you know it exists by the galaxies  being sucked in around it.

When one can not defend themselves, they a have a choice- be quiet, or go ahead and just say there is something wrong here, and I have no defense. Not one that won’t be picked apart by  the gang. I am not giving them that. I know in my heart what I know.

Is this all about me? Yeah, in a sense I guess it will have to be if I stand alone on this issue. Is the implication that I am selfish, self centered? So be it. I am taking care of myself here.

 My remark about everyone hating me was just to point out that I feel that strongly to risk that possibility. I know that others can’t fully grasp what I am saying, and I risk credibility – and wouldn’t the gang want to jump on that opportunity.


What I want from this exchange is for it to be clear how I feel about CG. CG plays games, insidious little games that maybe can only be seen if you are her target. Get caught up in her crosshairs and you will know what I mean.  
Phoenix

[Discounted Girl]

While I'm still waiting for someone to answer me several posts back, I just have to say this: there is as much chance that Phoenix is an N as there is a light piercing that black hole she mentioned. She isn't scheming or trolling around to stir up trouble -- the girl is as out front as they come. I have seen her stand up politely and speak her peace and nobody listened. Now she has raised her voice, got your attention and now you are listening, but she wants you to "hear" her, which means you have to think about it and put yourself in her shoes. She has a different style, yes, and I think they call it "true grit." She doesn't make this stuff up, if she says it's true, that's enough for me. Maybe this has turned into a popularity contest and a runoff for the ALPHA ACON -- I hope not. Maybe that's what happens when a group of people virtually exchange with each other for so long. I was away from here for several months and the tone of the place definitely changed during that period. In any event, I don't think Phoenix has Ntraits, nor do any of the regular posters on this forum. There is so much genuine emotion and heartfelt support on this board -- there is no room for anything but honesty.

[Anonymous]

Well folks there you have it. Straight from the horses mouth. The final word, it appears. And it was the same predictable old well-worn unchanging response we've grown to expect and even 'D-I-S' love from Phoenix.  zzzzzzzzzz

Onya Phoenix

Oh sorry, forgot to sign in ... that was me  CG

[phoenix]

i’m sad because I think its made thing worse when thing were probably at the point where they passed and you could have come back and started fresh if you wanted. i am one who has missed your messages.

I see it as things were just swept under the carpet. Ramble is like the family’s dirty little secret. Lets not confront the truth there and hope it dies down. It won’t as long as the key player still operates in her same mode.

I am not interested in hashing anything out with CG. She can just stay out of my way. And if I  post a response in answer to anyone in any thread, she can stop her slimy scheme of coming up on my tail right after, with her own garrulous posting. And volubly patting others on the back, heaping praise, I know what she is doing. Wooing.


And why doesn’t Portia fight her own battles? Did she really think I would answer her through CG? Not a chance.