Portia and all,
I am still feeling queasy, so that is going to put a damper on my ability to respond with the vitality in which I started out with. Maybe that is good, I don’t know; my mind feels wrapped in cotton and all I want to do is sleep.
I had put a lot of thought into how to reply, and it seemed that if I said a little, I’d have to say a lot. Or do I just let it all go? But I don’t think that it is fair to light a wildfire and walk away.
It is pretty amazing to see how this has blossomed into other threads.
I have been having a difficult time understanding what actually bothers me about the Ramble thread.
This is what I hoped others would address in regards to Ramble. What exactly is it that is bothersome? Not just to express your hate or scorn or fears, but to examine why? Maybe with defining just what it is that bothers us, we can offer awareness to the participants there.
For me, I no longer want to discuss it. I have grown past the need to, because for me, every effort I had made previously was rebuffed. I don’t trust that I can say what I feel and be heard. I have gotten what I
need, not what I
wanted. What I wanted was communication, what I got was freedom from caring anymore.
I joined this board a few weeks ago to gain support for dealing w/ the Ns in my life & to share stories (& maybe a little validation). It appears I ended up in the wrong place...
Although I feel I officially joined here January 28, 2004, I came across this site at it’s origination. I was probably one of the first five posters. It had a desperate quality to it then that I found extremely uncomfortable. Lonely, lost, suicidal, distressed, without any old timers established to offer any hope. When I came back to it, it had grown up, and now has a feel of having established itself. I found it inviting, and well structured, peopled with others who had already traveled the road I was on, a place I could come in from the cold. At it’s very worst and heated, it is still a much better site than it was
So what if you've frightened and bullied the bogies away from the board. They're still there in your life.
Get rid of them from your mind and then you won't need to get rid of them from the
board.
Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that this is a board designed to work things out on.
The other thing is that I think it in my right to address bullies when they are in my path. And there is that saying sometimes the only way to fight an n is to behave like an n – or nish behaviour. I have no problem with this, and won’t be shamed into thinking otherwise. If you want to let someone tread on you, that is your prerogative.
Good people have always attracted bullies- throughout history. It’s not all in there head.
But let me ask you this, if someone is beating up your neighbor, do you just look the other way, and say, well it’s not me, it’s not in my reality, they are attracting this because the it is their mindset?
What you are saying here is lame thinking, only intended to silence me, to have me doubt the right of my actions. It only serves you, in your effort to not hear what I am saying, so you can continue to pick at my argument, as if it doesn’t matter.
Flower- I've used the guest feature in the past. Now I don't like that I didn't have the courage to name myself. Part of getting our voice is not being afraid what others will think of us. What if we all posted as anonymous guests? What if no one took the risk of showing an established identity. It would be such a mess. We'd never straighten it out. Wouldn't that be fun?
I saw a commercial the other night. It was a group of ladies in an anger management class. There was music playing, and the ladies were sitting in their chairs in a peaceful circle. The lights flickered, went out, the music stopped, and you could hear the sounds of these women in a scuffle, in the dark. Then the lights came back on, and they were frozen in unconcealed astonishment, in various poses of their slugfest: entangled, hair pulling, grabbing, hitting, ect. It made me think of this very thing.
Guest- Hi Phoenix,
I don't read the Ramble thread. Period.
I don't always read all the threads posted, and don't always reply. I only reply to ones that resonate with me and/or if I have something of substance to say (maybe ).
That's it.
I don’t really “read’ Ramble, I just check in occasionally from curiosity. Or with a wary eye, checking it’s pulse. But I won’t from now on.
Thank you. That’s all I am asking. Those who post here freely, not feeling harassed, don’t realize that for me posting comes with a price. I feel I’m always looking over my shoulder. Not for the bogey man, necessarily, but for the little stinging bee that no one else notices. I just want others to be aware of how I am feeling. Why should I have to put up with that?
Blue Topaz-You may have come to the end of the road regarding the issue, and I sure admire you for speaking your heart. I actually do think you might have helped make some changes, which may only become apparent down the line.
It was taking it’s toll on me to not speak up. I started this thread not as a last ditch effort to be heard by Ramble, but to be heard by others, that this is what is going on with me, and I am thoroughly frustrated. I think we may all have come to the end of this road.
Portia, I started to reply to your post, but I am not going to, it can only spread the venom further on both parts.
Solace -You pm’d me, thanking me for once sticking up for you, and asking for me to now see you in a new light, to be your friend? Why did I stop being supportive of you? Did you ever figure that one out? You figure out what you do to continually annoy people here and change that, I will see you in a different light. But as it stands now, I don’t. Don’t waste your time trying with me, I am not interested.
Phoenix
