Welcome to Romper Room!

[Anonymous]

Thomas is now the one keeping the pot stirred, and the thread going when it might have died out already.   It would be better for everyone if he privately contacts Phoenix if he wishes to play analyst.  

Not everyone wants to see this continuing, even the ones who have been on the receiving end of CG/Portia's nice-nasty tongue.  Posting incidences would drag this mess out forever.  I see no good reason in everyone prolonging this.  How is this healthy for anyone?  

I chose a long time ago not to even visit Ramble.  Maybe it is time for a few other people to make that same decision.   You just can't change people, so you have to ignore the ones that annoy you.  It is easy to ignore people here....just don't read their posts.   And those who keep stirring the pot of discontent... just stop.   That being said, I won't be visiting negative threads again.  There is no value.  If I want some negativity, I will go visit the N in my life.

[Anonymous]

Hello phoenix - I was about to post this when I noticed that guest had already leapt in to disagree disagreeably with my previous post - so I stopped a while to post back.  I was still in a quiet, agreeable mood when I wrote the following.    Sorry I let myself be sidetracked.

Hi phoenix - I've been reading more of your old posts and I see what you tried to explain to Portia and CG's reply and I wonder how two such rational posts could have escalated to here.  You expressed concern and wanted to help.

But then I noticed one guest making a number of mean posts immediately afterwards.  Neither CG nor phoenix.  From past experience I'd say that's one person - I used to call that person Tweedledum and Tweedledee - always one mean post followed by a supporting confirming post.  Very JPN!!  What spite, what resentment, what meanness.  Now that's bullying - but no doubt there's an inner pain, a reason why.  Tis just a pity they don't come out and deal with their issues properly on the board  One day they might find the courage instead of poisoning relationships between other people.  

'They' have been around a long time, being mean and disrupting and expressing lots of venom, hiding behind anonymity.

Oh well, everybody needs to release a little venom every now and then.  Perhaps they should post as 'we just need to be spiteful and spread a little dissent cos we feel so powerless to get any attention any other way' and then we'd know. But then I suppose we'd just ignore them.  And I'm just wondering if that's what upset the applecart so much.

I'd say to them that there ARE better ways of getting attention and receiving support.  Trouble is, you have to take your courage in both hands.  And that's what's so darn difficult sometimes.  

Anyway, phoenix - you know who I am and I hope that you are doing OK.
R

[Discounted Girl]

I take back what I said about this being a research project for a psych dissertation -- I think it's a developing sitcom pilot -- call it "Cyber Mob Rule." While I was joking before, I am quite certain now that if Rodney King knew how to get on the internet, he would be here with us.

While I find you a Doubting Thomas, I am going to respond to your first post. Yes, I said that if Phoenix says she was being picked on, then I believe her. What difference does it make what I think anyhow? As far as I can tell, she never comes in here hiding behind a guest name or a penned guest name or any other form of camo. She has the kahoonas to sign her name and speak her peace. She zeroes in on her point and is not wishy-washy. What good is your opinion if you are afraid someone will know it is your's? That is what I meant. Instead of seeing her as the leader of a witch hunt, I see her as reaching the end of her rope and needing to expose wrongdoings she feels were directed at her. That's how I feel about the NQueenmother, if I could pay for it, I would have the terror she wreaked on me broadcast to the whole world. I don't have anything against CG -- I don't even know anything about her, she never signed in until recently -- I am only talking about Phoenix and if she wants to talk about things that happened to her, I don't see anything wrong with it. It's her choice -- don't read it if it offends you. She says she tried other ways, and this apparently is very important to her.

There are a whole lot of postings flying back and forth here (and not just recently) that are from the same person -- that's my opinion and I'm stickin' with it. Some of those we said goodbye to in the past have only changed the color of their ink and switched masks. I find that creepy -- life is too short for deceit. It's more than catty little girl school yard play -- it's twisted.

There's so much important stuff legitimates have posted here, it would take years to absorb it all and it is invaluable. Thank you, thank you very much. I hope all the bad guys have left the building  

[Anonymous]

{{{{Wildflower}}}}  Tender thoughts.  

Just read your post.  I've seen some of your other recent posts, too.  High five to you.  Lovely thoughts, lovely posts.  Really centred, thoughtful, courageous.

We're all moving on, aren't we.

I dare to expose myself; dare to be visibly vulnerable.  Thought you'd never see that, eh???  Carapace?  Never heard of it.  LOL  (Doesn't mean I'm a walkover, tho!!   )
R

[Anonymous]

Sorry Somebody.....I don't feel kindly towards a woman who is still married to and living with the man who abused her daughter and pushing an agenda.

I wonder why any female would stay with a pedophile husband, especially one that has abused her very own daughter.  Somebody-Solace even stated in an earlier post that she believed her daughter.  What is this saying to a traumatized daughter when the mother won't even throw the sorry bastard out?  

The excuse of "it was a one time mistake, he has changed", is a load of crap.   Pedophiles never, ever lose their desire for children, no matter how much anyone would like to believe that.  They carry those obscene desires until they die.   They are predators.   Protect your children.

She also said she felt she needed to stay to "control him" so he wouldn't do it again to other children.  As if that is possble.

[Solace]

Hello Guest:

I'm wondering why you're feeling the need to bring this up?

I said that my husband has a better chance of not re-offending with me monitoring him.  The more people monitoring him, the better, don't you think?  He told what he did to a lot of people and they too will, I'm sure, keep an eye on open too.  

Ultimately, he controls his own behaviour, just like the rest of us.  Ultimately he did control his own behaviour.  I've stated on this board this point that we are the ones responsible and in control of our own behaviour but maybe you didn't read that?  That's ok.

Do you have an agenda?  That's accusatory almost or is it?  Maybe you have a need to hurt me?  Do you?  Because it feels like that to me but maybe I'm missing how you are just trying to help, somehow.  By talking about me, rather than to me though, it doesn't appear that way.  Maybe you'll decide to see that, maybe not.  I hope you do.

S

[Anonymous]

Hello Guest:

I'm wondering why you're feeling the need to bring this up?

I said that my husband has a better chance of not re-offending with me monitoring him.  The more people monitoring him, the better, don't you think?  He told what he did to a lot of people and they too will, I'm sure, keep an eye on open too.  

Ultimately, he controls his own behaviour, just like the rest of us.  Ultimately he did control his own behaviour.  I've stated on this board this point that we are the ones responsible and in control of our own behaviour but maybe you didn't read that?  That's ok.

Do you have an agenda?  That's accusatory almost or is it?  Maybe you have a need to hurt me?  Do you?  Because it feels like that to me but maybe I'm missing how you are just trying to help, somehow.  By talking about me, rather than to me though, it doesn't appear that way.  Maybe you'll decide to see that, maybe not.  I hope you do.

S

You have posted here a glaring contradiction, I wonder that you don't see it.

[Solace]

Here's what I see Guest:

People have expressed the desire for all of this circular stuff to stop, including me.
If you do wish to respectfully discuss something with me, then please, pm me and we'll talk.

There's no need to go through and rehash my story or my words or anything to upset the good people or harm me here any further, is there?
And your bringing this up here is harming me and may very well be upsetting other people.

So please understand that I will not be responding to any more of your stuff or mine, on this thread.

And please, if you wish to discuss my stuff with me, then pm me and I'll be glad to try my best to understand and be honest, if I feel comfortable doing that.

I truly do hope you hear me because I'm trying so hard to hear you but all I hear is what seems like a desire to demean and that is getting no one anywhere.

But, at least you are addressing me rather than about me, which I see as something very positive and I thank you for that.  Now please, leave this thread be and pm your concerns to me personally.

Thankyou

S

[Anonymous]

Here's what I see Guest:

People have expressed the desire for all of this circular stuff to stop, including me.
If you do wish to respectfully discuss something with me, then please, pm me and we'll talk.

There's no need to go through and rehash my story or my words or anything to upset the good people or harm me here any further, is there?
And your bringing this up here is harming me and may very well be upsetting other people.

So please understand that I will not be responding to any more of your stuff or mine, on this thread.

And please, if you wish to discuss my stuff with me, then pm me and I'll be glad to try my best to understand and be honest, if I feel comfortable doing that.

I truly do hope you hear me because I'm trying so hard to hear you but all I hear is what seems like a desire to demean and that is getting no one anywhere.

But, at least you are addressing me rather than about me, which I see as something very positive and I thank you for that.  Now please, leave this thread be and pm your concerns to me personally.

Thankyou

S

More word salad and telling people what to do.

[Anonymous]

S, I have noticed that sometimes you are nice, and sometimes you are not so nice.  You keep flipping back and forth.  What are you looking for, here, I ask, trying to help you find some peace, here and in the other part of your liife back in the real world?  

A member posing as a guest, for obvious reasons.

[Anonymous]

She also said she felt she needed to stay to "control him" so he wouldn't do it again to other children.

You cannot control someone's thoughts and desires.

Solace,

Ultimately, he controls his own behaviour, just like the rest of us. Ultimately he did control his own behaviour

You are right, everyone has to be accountable for their own behavior.  Speaking in generalities,  once a pedophile loses that control, crosses the line and abuses, he will find it easier to pass those boundries next time.  That is why often times we find that when a pedophile is apprehended, there are multiple victims.  The older the offender, the  list of victims becomes longer.  

Solace, you have a heavy burden to bear.  It is very hard to police someone 24/7.  With a vigilant wife at his side, a pedophile may be less likely to offend, as there may be less opportunity.  Too many wives turn a blind eye.  I'm glad you are not.  However, they are a wily breed, often plotting and planning their next conquest to great end.  Be aware of that, and don't get complacent after a while.  

I do have one piece of advice for you, which I hope will take, or maybe already have.  Don't let your H be on the internet.  If he is, put some spyware on it.  

I did not write this to hurt you in any way, as I think you have been hurt enough.

[Anonymous]

Why the hell are you picking on Solace now???  They are very mean words - spiteful words that are quoted and used.  You are trying to pick a fight.  Solace won't fight you - are you trying to push her til she will??  She prides herself, I suspect, on not responding to people picking on her.  What good are you doing?

She said her husband is not a paedophile and that he did not molest anybody.  You and I know nothing of the situation other than what she has posted - you pick and choose which of her words you believe - see a one-sided situation, don't allow for confusion.

Accept her words.  Don't use mean words as weapons.  It's obvious you are trying to hurt her.  Shame on you.

Ah - did things start to calm down in this thread?  Were kind words spoken? Is that the problem?

Stir, stir - hubble, bubble, toil and trouble!!!

[Anonymous]

Why the hell are you picking on Solace now???  They are very mean words - spiteful words that are quoted and used.  You are trying to pick a fight.  Solace won't fight you - are you trying to push her til she will??  She prides herself, I suspect, on not responding to people picking on her.  What good are you doing?

She said her husband is not a paedophile and that he did not molest anybody.  You and I know nothing of the situation other than what she has posted - you pick and choose which of her words you believe - see a one-sided situation, don't allow for confusion.

Accept her words.  Don't use mean words as weapons.  It's obvious you are trying to hurt her.  Shame on you.

Ah - did things start to calm down in this thread?  Were kind words spoken? Is that the problem?

Stir, stir - hubble, bubble, toil and trouble!!!

Sometimes the truth hurts.

[Anonymous]

Some think she should be on a board that will help her get help for  the positon she is in, the mother of children, while also enabling her sick husband, and keeping him in the house with her and her children.  This is not that board.  Think of it as enccouragement to find a board where she belongs.  She clearly needs help, but not the help we can provide for her, here.  Want us to help her find one, Other Guest?  Think of this as positive input.  Some of us have been molested, and it is hard to be sympathetic, here.  Another board might be the answer.  She would be welcomed with open arms and that is what she needs.
S, when you read this, please give it some thought.  You need to be on a site where you are among other wives who are married to molesters.  Some of us grew up in families like yours, and look where it got us - a lifetime of pain, pain that could have been prevented.   How can we feel comfortable with you here in the group?   Think of your children.  Take them away from him. Stop the cycle.  Find a support group for woment like you, and they will help you, where we cannot.

[Anonymous]

This board has always had two main users -

i)  children of parents who are narcissistic

ii)  women (and men!) who have partners who are narcissistic

Supposing sudddenly the people with narcissistic partners outnumber the people with narcissistic parents.

At that point do they get to 'out' the latter for pressing their parental guilt buttons and/or for whinging all the time about how hard done by they've been by their parents???

Pots, kettles and all that.

The voiceless aren't just those who are silent, the voiceless are also those who haven't found their true voice.  And it's the N way to find a voice at the expense of others.  

Having said that, I hold no candle for the way Solace is communicating here.