Guest wrote:
"Why the hell are you picking on Solace now??? They are very mean words - spiteful words that are quoted and used. You are trying to pick a fight. Solace won't fight you - are you trying to push her til she will?? She prides herself, I suspect, on not responding to people picking on her. What good are you doing?
She said her husband is not a paedophile and that he did not molest anybody. You and I know nothing of the situation other than what she has posted - you pick and choose which of her words you believe - see a one-sided situation, don't allow for confusion.
Accept her words. Don't use mean words as weapons. It's obvious you are trying to hurt her. Shame on you.
Ah - did things start to calm down in this thread? Were kind words spoken? Is that the problem? "
Thankyou for your support. I'm starting to believe what is said that someone will always protect you here, even me. I see some other kind words in others posts too and I see misinformation being repeated. There are some things I've written that may have been missed in other posts.
My children don't live with me. One is an adult. I was appart from my husband for years and I never stopped nurturing my children. My kids and I have close relationships and our family is healing. My daughter says quite opposite things to the things you seem to think she must feel but I don't want to minimize your feelings. It does feel to me like some are picking and choosing what to believe or allowing imagination or their own experience to get into my situation and somehow become real. It's hard for you too, if you haven't read everything I've posted and I understand that. You don't have all the information and I keep adding bits but they must either be missed or omitted or not believed. I don't feel comfortable talking about it but it seems necessary. It takes all of my courage to speak here because I feel battered sometimes. There are no groups for the women you speak of.
To some who've had experience with molestation--your experience is different than what happened in my family. I know you have suffered but please don't make me suffer any more because of what you might be associating with me.
If I think about robbing a bank and I offer to rob a bank, does that make me a bank robber? If I stop myself from robbing the bank and then later admit that I thought about robbing the bank and offered to rob a bank, does that make me a bank robber? If I'm truly interested in making sure that I never, ever, rob a bank, then I stand up and say that I thought about robbing a bank, I offered to rob a bank, I stopped myself from robbing the bank, and now I admit that I did those things. I've never thought of robbing a bank since then and I'm not thinking of robbing any banks and it's been terribly hard to admit that I did what I did and I want you to know this so that you can talk about it with me and remind me about that time I thought about robbing the bank and I can feel comfortable talking about it with you and if I ever think of robbing a bank again, then I will feel safe enough to tell you and you can help me get help so I won't ever offer to rob a bank. I haven't even considered robbing a bank since then but punish me good so I won't forget that time and that punishment will be another deterrent. As a matter of fact, punish me as if I robbed a bank and used a gun and kidnapped a teller and stole a whole lot of money. Punish me and punish me punish me, over and over because I deserve it because I thought about robbing a bank and I offered to rob a bank. Punish me but don't punish my wife or her children because everything is all my fault. Everybody else's reaction is my fault and everybody else's behaviour is my fault and every thing that is wrong with everything is all my fault. I won't ever offer to rob a bank again, I know it. I knew it was wrong and I still know it and will punish myself for it forever and I want to somehow make up for everything that's happened and everyone I've hurt. I will take all responsibility for everything and I will talk to you about this because I never intend to think about robbing banks again but I want to be sure I have a safe place to talk about robbing banks in case that thought ever pops into my mind again. I know I'm not a bank robber and the tests and assessors say I'm not a bank robber but I did think about robbing a bank and offer to rob a bank and I won't ever deny that or let my responsibility to myself and those around me go to the wayside.
S
