N Shopping Habits

[gratitude28]

I think that Ns like to shop for a variety of reasons:

They can have a snit over the salesperson if the person is 'not helpful enough.' Nothing like drama!

With a helpful salesperson, they get all kinds of attention.

They feel the things they buy will make others jealous.

Stores are a serious supply to an N!!!!!

Just trying to figure it all out!
So how do you explain the online and HSN/QVC shopping?????

Love, Beth

[Logy]

Beth,

You are SO right.  NM is a shopaholic.  Vacation for her is NOT seeing the sights, relaxing.  It's how good is the shopping.  Doesn't matter if it's Walmart or Saks.

I have always hated going shopping with NM.  She vacillates between becoming the salesclerk's best friend (look how I have endeared myself to a complete stranger) or haughtily looking down her nose at them or completely ignoring them when they try to talk to her.  I have watched many clerks look at her with confusion after they have only tried to do their job and she looked away as if they didn't even exist.  Then I find myself doing what I can to let them know that they really do exist.

My NM doesn't do online and QVC shopping.  She has to have an unsuspecting person to interact with.  In fact, she has total disdain for the internet.  Must be that she is just the same as any other person trying to buy something.  And now the rest of the family doesn't have her as the sole source of information.  They can research anything she says.

Logy

[swimmer]

I just can't believe these posts sometimes:). I could swear everyone here is posting about MY mother. 

You are not alone!!

[Twoapenny]

How funny, I was thinking only yesterday that whenever my mum took us out when we were kids it was to go shopping!

When I look back now I can see how I was told one thing but something else was actually going on.  My parents went on and on about how skint we were - yet I can remember them having the entire house re-done over and over again and nothing coming off the peg - everything my mother wanted was made to order and she seemed to instinctively know the most expensive thing in the shop.  I remember being in the supermarket once and she literally threw the money down on the counter so the sales girl had to scrabble around to pick it up.  It was so embarassing - Logy, I think you're right, I then made a point of being really nice to this poor girl to compensate for my mum.

She had two freezers that were always full of food and by the time I left home she had three double wardrobes full and was busy filling a forth.  I always used to say that in the event of any kind of major disaster hers would be the house to head to because you could guarantee that anything you needed would be in there somewhere.

[Portia]

*chuckling a lot*

No they don't 'do' the internet. They might join something to see what all the fuss is about - and then drop it like a stone (like they do with 'friends' and family) when they can't see anything in it for them. Interactive forums are a classic leveller too.

As for shopping.....I can't go there, again. It is at least beginning to be funny!

*thinks: will i ever stop being angry? Really? On the other hand, why the hell should I ??!*

[Logy]

Twoapenny,
Oh yes!  The food!  My dad and her are retired and in their late 70's.  They have two huge refrigerators that are just PACKED with food.  NM was lamenting a couple of months ago about how she doesnt know how she had a family of 6 with just one refrigerator!  Now it's "just the two of us and we need two refrigerators!"   Hmmmm, mom, do you think that might be saying something to you?

NM also gets obsessed with one thing and buys everything she sees that has anything to do with that subject.  Lately it has been chicken parafinalia.  Statues, salt shakers, rugs, placemats, garden statues.  She went to visit a friend at the hospital while my daughter who drove her waited in the car.  When she came out she was so excited.  "Guess what I found in the gift shop!"  Daughter said "chickens?"  NM was shocked "how did you know????"  She also bought the most God-awful large handmade chicken with real feathers and evil looking eyes at a church garage sale.  My dad was standing there paying for it while NM carried it away.  The lady he was paying said "Thank God!  We have been trying to get rid of that thing for two years!"  Dad still gets a kick out of that day.  (Everytime we visit we have to turn the chicken away from us - it just stares at us!)

It used to drive us insane.  Thankfully I am at the point I can laugh about it (and know to start saving my money because she is busy as can be spending every dime they have so I don't expect to inherit anything).

[Sealynx]

When I was in high school my mother went through a phase where she brought home at least 25 rugs and coffee tables "on approval". I never knew what I'd find when I walked through the door! God knows what the sales person endured!

By far the worst things I have to endure is having dinner at one of her "favorite" restaurants where she has abused the wait staff to death. I have to visit for Easter and I can already picture the look on the hostesses face when we walk in and she demands a certain table and waiter who is then supposed to completely ignore what comes with what on the menu and create special dishes just for her after which she always finds a reason to ask for the manager because something isn't right.  YES shopping eating...anything that gives them a moments control over others in a passion with them!

[bearwithme]

logy wrote:

[quoteI have always hated going shopping with NM.  She vacillates between becoming the salesclerk's best friend (look how I have endeared myself to a complete stranger) or haughtily looking down her nose at them or completely ignoring them when they try to talk to her.  I have watched many clerks look at her with confusion after they have only tried to do their job and she looked away as if they didn't even exist.  Then I find myself doing what I can to let them know that they really do exist.][/quote]

This is why I love this board!!  I could have written this EXACTLY word for word!!  That confusion of the sales clerk is so dead-on and I can remember how they would look at her as a real snob or really rude....I always felt so embarrassed (had to be overly nice to the clierk to compensate for NM's rudeness, like, "hey, she's the one that's rude, not me!!")

[gratitude28]

Bear,
I spent my entire childhood being embarrassed for my mother. I was painfully embarrassed all the time... I felt like her gaffes were my own. It took me a long time to stop saying "I'm sorry" for every little thing, and also not to take on everyone's behaviors as my own.
Love,
Beth

[swimmer]

Along with the sales clerk stories here.... I remember shopping with my mother in my childhood when a store would be closing.  My mom would continue to shop completely ignoring the store hours.  I'm not talking about running in a store at closing to pick up one quick item..... I mean sifting through racks like she had hours.  I shudder at the memories of how the store clerks would be standing at the doors with keys in hand almost sweeping us out with a broom.  Soooo rude!!  I'm always asking stores when they close..... I sooo fear being my mother even by accident!!

[bearwithme]

Along with the sales clerk stories here.... I remember shopping with my mother in my childhood when a store would be closing.  My mom would continue to shop completely ignoring the store hours.  I'm not talking about running in a store at closing to pick up one quick item..... I mean sifting through racks like she had hours.  I shudder at the memories of how the store clerks would be standing at the doors with keys in hand almost sweeping us out with a broom.  Soooo rude!!  I'm always asking stores when they close..... I sooo fear being my mother even by accident!!

This is so me!  I'm always EXTRA aware of when stores close and make sure that I leave when it's time or not walk in 20 seconds before they lock the doors so that I don't create a big hassle.  Once my NM was at the counter at a store and there was a big long line of people behind her as it was Christmas time and the stores were jammed with people.  My NM started to haggle with the clerk saying that the items were too expensive and one was missing a button so she wanted a "deal" on it.  She continued to take her sweet time and try to negotiate with the clerk, then when the clerk wouldn't budge she sat there and tried to decide if she wanted any of the items at all.  I could hear the people behind us huffing and puffing in frustration.  I was so embarrassed.

Gratitude28:  I, too, said "sorry" for everything.  Still do.  But I'm a lot better now than I used to be.  Work, work, work, on it, I do.

N's have no clue as to being polite and courteous....

Bear