Experiences with therapists re-victimizing you?

[Ami]

Dear NLAS
 I am coming to think that true wisdom is in knowing yourself. When Jesus said to pull the thorn(I think) out of your own eye before you look to the thorn in someone elses, he probably meant this.
 It is so hard to look at yourself when your NM told you you were BAD. One day, when I can get rid of BAD, I will have a big party and you all are invited .    x o x o   Ami

[river]

I have recently started T. training. 
What Im seeing is from sad to disturbing.   Fundamentally I disagree with the ethos of the training.  What it seems to me we are being taught to do is to ~ put roughly, to get people to 'see things with a different meaning than they first thought'  well IMO that is = to saying teach people to disbelieve thier perceptions.   So, what that teaches T.s to say is 'disbelieve YOUR perceptions, beleive mine instead'.     From there T.s are always right and dont have to question themselves.   
I am training with the hope that I will be able to give what I never found, but I needed. 

Having said all this, there are some wonderful T.s doing wonderful work. 

But sadly, your experiences match with many of mine.   The only thing that amazes me over and over is just HOW  badly people can get things wrong. 

[nolongeraslave]

I bumped up this thread, because I got in contact with Miss "Maybe your mom should buy you a vibrator." I told her everything about what I felt.

- I felt like I was being judged for being a very sexual teenager...like she was trying to mold me into being someone "pure." The last thing a client wants is their therapist to act like a mom.

- I felt HUMILIATED for being told to walk in a sex store with my mom. Heck, I would consider it borderline sexual abuse for a mom taking her minor daughter to buy a vibrator.

-I felt angry and sad that a professional didn't understand the big picture.  A lot of abuse survivors don't realize that their behaviors (promiscuity, over-eating) are related to abuse. It's the profesionals that point it out, but this lady didn't connect the dots.

The good news is is that she replied back saying "I'm sorry you felt this way and it must have been hard for you. But, please, don't think that I could ever judge a client.  You were being very brave to e-mail me."  

The "bad news" is that she missed the indicators of sexual abuse, which I figured anyway.  I sort of feel that she's responding nicely just to "look good."  She said she would look in her notes to answer my queries, but she hasn't responded in a few weeks.


At least I got an answer from her.

[swimmer]

Nolongeraslave-

I bet your previous therapist is nervous about this.  I've worked in child psych, and with children in other disciplines and a professional can be thrown in jail for not reporting even suspected abuse.  I'm not sure what year you visited this therapist and when this law was initiated.  She is probably contacting a lawyer etc....  Not only did she not report this, but added to it.  I bet she is crapping in her pants.

Anyways.... ((((((())))))). These adults were supposed to shield you, not make it harder.  You are so strong and an inspiration for strength to work this out.

[nolongeraslave]

Swimmer, someone told me that you won't get in trouble, if the signs are indirect (like promiscuity or over-sexualized behavior)? I heard you can only get into trouble if a child directly says they've been abused, and the professional doesn't report it.

I visited this therapist back in 2000, and another one back in 1997.

[Logy]

My sister has a Masters in Social Work.  She worked with kids in the foster system.  I was the person who enlightened her about our Nmother.  She agreed with my insights.  She embraced them.  But now she rages against the "psycho babble".  How she doesn't agree with others who use psychology to explain their life.  This is my sister, the most educated member of my family in psychology, and she doesn't AGREE with it.   

We MUST take control of our own best interests.  Just because someone holds a degree doesn't make them an expert.  It's a long struggle, a lifelong struggle, but when you feel validated and cared for, you know you have found a gem.