Maybe you could experiment with YOU setting the time for a call?
You could screen your calls and not answer when she calls.
Decide, consciously, when you feel up to talking to her, and maybe...twice a month for a while.
Make sure you're well rested, feeling centered and solid (even meditate on self-respect and boundaries for 10 mnutes).
Decide before the call how long you wish to spend on the phone and literally set a kitchen timer before you dial. Make a private promise to yourself that no matter WHAT, you will end the call within 30 seconds after it goes off. It does not matter who is saying what. You are controlling the time of the call, the beginning of the call, AND the end.
Then call her.
Tell her your time limit at the very beginning.
"Mom, I can talk for ten minutes now."
When your timer goes off, keep your private promise.
It's this...controlling it yourself. Taking control. Not reacting to her, but proactively deciding on the LC that will work for you.
Expect it to be awkward and imperfect. You are training her to experience boundaries you set.
More importantly, you are training YOURSELF.
(And be calm, and adult, and do not talk about personal subjects. If she tries, change the subject. Put the phone down for 10 seconds and go get water. Pick it up again. Use a headset. Do something you find pleasurable so you can just say "um-hum" a lot. Trim and water your houseplants. Do some exercises.
When she goes after personal subjects change the subject. Interrupt without emotion and just keep changing the subject.)
It's going to be awkward and imperfect. Don't worry about it. Keep doing it.
That's LC, or some LC ideas to work with.
love,
Hops
PS--I don't judge sex workers either. Not at all. But I think it hurts women and pulls them down into what this culture thinks of women. I'd much rather see a smart wonderful young woman define herself in a different way. Wouldn't you?
