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[Ellie]

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[bunny]

Ellie,

Your parents were the "flamboyant" Ns in their families but the family structure may have created narcissists. If you look at the family dynamics, there may have been something about the grandparents' marriage and child-rearing that tolerated, encouraged, or enabled pathological behavior in a child. Possibly these children expressed the family craziness that the parents couldn't process.

For example take the Scott Peterson case. His parents aren't criminals by a long shot. They have other children who aren't criminals either. But somehow one son became a liar, cheat, and sociopath. I believe if we observe the parents, it's not a big surprise that one child turned out to be totally cold and self-involved.

bunny

[seeker]

Hi Bunny,

Totally agree with you about the SP case.  When things get ugly, deny your involvement.  Where would a child get that message?  At home. With SP, he's able to do it to the extreme of fooling himself as well as other people.  I suspected all along that the sonogram was the shock of reality that set things in motion...

The really telling thing for me about SP is his reaction of "how can you think that of me" not, "No, I would never do that."  That is, "I am supposed to be able to fool you and there is something wrong with your reaction, not with what I did."  This, in a nutshell, is how destructive narcissism is defined to me and is a huge void in character development.

Ellie, I didn't see your post here, but hope you are all right.  Stay well.  
Seeker