Author Topic: Is Hope a Bad Word for Us?  (Read 2284 times)

Sealynx

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Is Hope a Bad Word for Us?
« on: August 14, 2010, 11:03:34 AM »
My sister called me this morning very upset. She still doesn't get it that there are some things you can't tell our mother unless you want to get stomped on. I'm sure she was looking for support, what she got was of course a steel toed boot to the head.

She is a nurse who loves elderly people and works in a nursing home. The nursing home's cost cutting measures have been getting more and more draconian, creating many unsafe conditions for the nurses and the patients. I've told her a million times not to be the last rat off a sinking ship, but she has remained loyal as one employee after another left to take a job she could easily have had somewhere else.

She had lots of excuses, the main being they were paying her more than the others. I kept telling her that their behavior showed that would soon be a liability. She insisted it was in her best interest to stay because she needed the weekend work to be home during the week for her daughter. In truth there were many other places she could have gotten a weekend shift, as the others did who left.

Last week they gave her weekend shift to two new nurses right out of school and told her they'd call her WHEN they needed her. She was essentially fired for making too much money.  I know they WILL call her when things fall apart because she is addicted to pleasing others at her own expense. I fear she will trot back under the worst of conditions. That is what my mother told her to do. She insisted that she run back to the nursing home and offer to work for less than the two women right out of school. She has 20 years of experinece in the field.

What did she HOPE to hear from my mother? Hope kept her at the nursing home and I fear she will never give up hoping when she should be acting in her best interest.

« Last Edit: August 14, 2010, 11:06:39 AM by Sealynx »

mudpuppy

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Re: Is Hope a Bad Word for Us?
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2010, 11:10:16 AM »
Hoping for impossibilities is not exactly wise, and if that's what you're saying it's hard to disagree.
But if you're saying hope itself is a bad word or concept, I don't see how can one live without hope.

mud

Sealynx

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Re: Is Hope a Bad Word for Us?
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2010, 11:29:02 AM »
I think the issue is knowing the difference. Often that line has been blurred so badly by our mothers and our unmet needs that we do hope for the impossible. I know my sister if very unbalanced when it comes to hope.

Ales2

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Re: Is Hope a Bad Word for Us?
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2010, 06:15:47 PM »
I agree with both of you. Hope can be misused.

I just had a job interview this morning and it appears I am the top candidate for the job...but I dont really want it. I might have to take it because my NM has become so impossible and I can't handle her hostility anymore. But its not the job or salary I want and have been working for and there are no benefits. Problem is the situation has become so bad that if this position is offered I will have to take it. I can't hold out for what I want because I am running out of time.......

Ugh. this is why our economy sucks, people take jobs they absolutely have to.

Hopalong

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Re: Is Hope a Bad Word for Us?
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2010, 07:53:35 PM »
I think hope in a generalized way, as in:

allowing for the possibility of good

...is a good thing.

I think fantasy is kind of an enemy, unless one sees it for what it is (and sets an egg timer).

love,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Sela

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Re: Is Hope a Bad Word for Us?
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2010, 09:53:18 PM »

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."

Albert Einsein

Sealynx

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Re: Is Hope a Bad Word for Us?
« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2010, 10:47:03 PM »
The way I see my sister always using hope is to hope that bad people will do the right thing. She picks jobs that demand a great deal of sacrifice, becomes attached to the work and can't seem to get loose when everyone else quits because of bad bosses or unfair working conditions. I can't help but feel that this all goes back to trying to get my father to love her. She has an addiction to trying to turn "no win" situations into good jobs.
Seal.

lighter

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Re: Is Hope a Bad Word for Us?
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2010, 07:07:27 AM »
I don't know who said it, but this quote comes to mind:

"It's not the despair, I can take the despair.... it's the hope that kills me."

If we're hoping for something that's impossible, maybe it's a bad thing.

Thanks for this thread, Sealnyx.

Mo2


Lollie

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Re: Is Hope a Bad Word for Us?
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2010, 10:13:22 AM »
I don't know who said it, but this quote comes to mind:

"It's not the despair, I can take the despair.... it's the hope that kills me."

If we're hoping for something that's impossible, maybe it's a bad thing.

Thanks for this thread, Sealnyx.

Mo2



I believe that was John Cleese. I remember the big belly laugh I let out when I heard him say that.
"Enjoy every sandwich." -- Warren Zevon

lighter

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Re: Is Hope a Bad Word for Us?
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2010, 02:38:11 PM »
Hmmmm..... I just Googled "It's hope that kills us" and received one hit:

A post on this board, started by Izz.

Mo2


Lollie

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Re: Is Hope a Bad Word for Us?
« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2010, 02:50:55 PM »
"Enjoy every sandwich." -- Warren Zevon