Vivid Dream

[Sela]

Hi all,

Ok, I'm gonna be vulnerable here.  I had this vivid dream and I didn't like it.  Here goes:



There was a dark road, lined with trees.  My husband & I were driving in a dark colored SUV when suddenly we smelled smoke.  There was a fire off to the distant NE through the trees so my husband stopped the car and we both ran towards the area to see if we could help.  My hubby ran faster than me and disappeared into the trees.

The flames got higher and higher and the heat more and more intense.  Soon the smoke was so thick I couldn’t see and I couldn’t find my husband!  He was not answering my calling.  I turned and ran back to the SUV and noticed the flames and smoke were enveloping the entire western side of the road.  I yelled once more to my husband, telling him we would soon be surrounded by fire and surely we would die and that we must go now!!  There was no response and I accepted that he was gone and might not come back.

I jumped into the SUV and began driving very slowly down the dark, cruvy, hilly, tree lined road, away from the fire.  The traffic piled up behind me and people began honking for me to speed up.  I caught up to speed and soon it was light and I was in a city but I couldn’t tell where and didn’t know my way or anyone there.  I pulled into a parking lot, grabbed the stroller from the back of the SUV and put my baby (who was apparently in the back of the SUV the whole time) into the stroller, hung a small tote bag over the handle and began walking.   I walked and pushed the stroller for miles and miles and was I getting very tired.

I entered a “home for mothers” and began wandering the halls, crying.  As I rounded a corner, a door opened and a young woman stepped into the hallway.  She asked what was wrong and why I was crying.  I explained my whole situation to her and she invited me in.  Her place was small but tidy.  I put my baby on the floor and began going through my bag looking for clean clothing to put on the baby.  There was none.

The woman handed me some clothing and showed me that she had a baby too, around the same age.  The clothing was a bit big so I was fixing it and I must have left the container of straight pins on the floor by the baby.  Next I looked and the baby had pins sticking out of it’s nose, mouth, chin, belly and was saying:  “Oww”, very calmly and smiling.

I cried that I was a horrible mother, as I quickly removed the pins and the woman reassured me that she had made mistakes too, not to worry, baby was fine, that kind of thing.  She opened her little fridge and offered to share her meager  fare with us.  I said I was fine but I’d sure appreciate the food for my baby.  I went ahead and prepared a small meal for the baby and the woman and I talked and talked and I felt so welcome and comforted.  Soon I revealed to her that my baby was really not a baby at all but just a doll.  I hung my head in shame and apologized for not being honest to begin with.

Once more, she responded with gentle kindness and pulled the blanket back on her baby to show me that hers was only a doll too.  She said not to be ashamed and that I was a good mother.

Next it was time for the woman to go to work and she left telling me things would be fine, to make myself comfortable and that she would be back soon.  I got busy sorting the items in my bag when a knock came to the door and it was two men and a lady I’d never seen before.  They basically barged in and made themselves at home, sitting down and touching the woman’s belongings and eyeing the place like detectives.  One of them even turned the stereo on some heavy duty metal music really loud.   I tried speaking with them for a few minutes and then I said that this was really not a good time and I asked them to come back another day, when the woman was home.  The men responded that they didn’t feel like leaving and asked me what was I going to do, call the police?
I tried to reason with them and especially the lady saying that there was no need to get the police involved and I pointed out that I had been polite and civil and that we could easily treat each other with the same manners and respect and besides, I had to feed my baby and I wasn’t feeling comfortable with people around.....

The lady said she understood and convinced the men to leave but they took their time about it and made a good mess of the place on their way out. 

I did my best to tidy the place up again but I wasn’t sure where things went and I was worried that it would look like I was snooping and making messes if the woman came home and found me so I hurried but not quick enough.  She came in and saw the mess and me cleaning up but only asked casually what was going on.  I was shocked to be treated so reasonably and I went ahead and explained about the men and the lady showing up and the woman, once again, reassured me, not to worry, these things happen, all would be fine, she would deal with those people if they ever came back.

Next I was getting ready to leave, packing the few items I had into my bag and dressing my baby.  The woman asked if I was coming the city fair with her and I responded that I would not and that I must return home.  “I just want to go home,” I said, and I began to cry and to thank her profusely for her kindness and generosity.    I said I would always remember her and I gave her my address, written on a piece of paper and asked for hers, saying we could be friends.

She said she had enjoyed having me and that of course we would be friends but I got the distinct feeling she was just saying that to pacify me and that she had no intentions of being friends with me.

Soon I was walking along, pushing the strolled and trying my best to get home.  Then I woke up.




This was a weird one for sure.    It was so vivid and I felt almost "wrung out" when I awoke.
At the same time, I think dreams like this are a combination of my worst fears and a kind of.....purging??

If you feel like interpreting, it will be greatly appreciated and likely helpful.

Sela

[Guest]

Sela, there's a lot in your dream, it seems to me, and it doesn't have an obvious definite underlyng story? Or does it?

I guess your baby turned back into a baby pretty quickly? So it was real?

Question from the end might be, after your experience with the woman, what does it mean to you to 'be friends' with someone? To me a friend is someone who accepts you for what you are and is likely to help you, if they can, amongst other things. And vice-versa of course.

[CB123]

Sela,

I have found that really vivid, detailed dreams like this are important messages from myself to myself.  Usually I find that if I think for a bit...journal for sure...I will see what it says.

In a general way, a baby, a fire and a forest are all symbols of transition.  Interestingly, the fire symbol is a little more earthshaking than a baby symbol--but the baby is a symbol of you.  So the pins and the food in relation to the baby is probably significant, but about you.  The baby is being stuck with pins but is calm.  There is not much food but you don't want it, but do want to feed the baby.  The clothes are clean but too big.  All that is worth thinking about in relation to you.

A doll is a "pretend" baby and the baby in your dream goes back and forth between being pretend and real.  Actually you SAY the baby is pretend--but is it really? 

The woman who is taking care of you in the dream is also you.  Maybe a repeat of you taking care of your baby?  Why does she say she will be friends with you but you know she won't?

You seem more afraid of the woman who is coming back and what she will suspect you of,  than of the bad people in the room.  You seem more bothered by the mess they are making than by any real sense of danger to yourself. 

I think the answers are there because it is so vivid.  I am just pointing out what jumped out at me when I read your dream.

CB

[Sela]

Thankyou both!

Guest, I can relate most of that dream to parts of my current situation for sure.  

The question about the baby being real..... it's confusing to me.  I believed the baby was real, all along, except I didn't even remember I had a baby in that SUV or at least, I didn't take it with me, when I ran to the fire, which would be negligent and not good.  And it really felt like a real baby, for most of the dream when it came to my worrying about it and taking care of it and when I saw it.  It was almost like I made up a lie..... that the baby wasn't real..... for some reason, when I felt close to the woman but then....

when I looked, it was indeed a doll???  So, it wasn't a lie.  I dunno.

Until.... it was time to go and then... the baby seemed very real again so ???? weird to say the least.

(Thinking about it now, maybe I made the baby into a doll to justify my leaving it in the SUV all alone, on a road?  And to make the pins getting stuck in it.... not so nasty?  Or maybe the baby goes back and forth between being real and not for some other reason?  I haven't a clue).

Also, I agree with your definition of a friend (and I might add to it but that's a whole other topic)......

Still, it wasn't exactly that I was questioning her friendwomanship, so far, but rather, it was a feeling..... a sense I got..... that she was just being kind and not really interested in being friends, I guess.  But when I think about it..... maybe the fact that she had done all of the giving and helping so far felt very uneven.... not properly reciprocated?  Maybe that was why it didn't feel like it was a real friendship or why she might not want it to?

Thanks for your questions.  A different view really helps me to see more than I ever would on my own.



CB, I tell ya, if that dream was a message from me to me..... I haven't got it straight yet but I'll keep trying!  It was so intense!  I may be journalling forever!!  And my brain cells will likely give out before I think it all through!!  

Thanks for your ideas on stuff to think about re the symbols.  Yes, lot's to think about.  Interesting eh?  I keep trying to imagine myself as the me, in the dream, as the baby AND as the woman and somehow, I can't get my brain to register it all.  It seems weirder, if that's possible but hey..... it helps to make it more entertaining and maybe not so serious too.

See above about whether the baby is real or not.  My question is..... if it wasn't a doll..... why did I say it was?  And when I looked, in that moment, it actually was a doll but when I looked when the pins were in it.... it was a real baby, babbling and smiling away and also at all the other times too.  So   ?????  Real?  Not real?  I have my own personal Alice in Wonderland right smack in my head!!  No wasting money on entertainment for me!!

I'm not sure I explained my feelings thoroughly about the bad people that barged in.  Oh I did feel very afraid of them!  That's for sure!  I was terrified, to be honest and I think it was because I wasn't sure why they were there or what they were going to do and their behaviour was getting worse and worse but I was trying so hard to just keep my wits about me and figger out a way to get rid of them.....
So I shelved my fear and didn't panic.  That's typically "normal" for me in real life.

As to the woman..... I wouldn't say it was so much fear but more dread.... not wanting her to be disappointed in me, after all she had done for me.  I felt anxious that she would conclude "bad things about me" before I'd get a chance to explain.   So I just wanted to make the mess disappear before she saw it.  I believe I would have told her what had happened, if I had of had time to tidy up, but I would have felt better about getting things in order and not shocking her as she came through the door after a long day at work.  I didn't want to wreck her day????   (I know, what about my day???).

True, I don't think I was worried about any danger to myself.  I think I was worried, again, for my baby.  For some reason.... I felt they were looking for that baby and maybe I was hiding it???  Or at least, trying to protect it from them?  I remember now that I kept hoping the baby would be quiet.

Thanks for pointing out what jumped out at you.  It all helps.  Different perspectives.  Helps me look at it differently.  Helps me to examine it differently.

You've both made it less scary, so thanks.  (I was shaking like a leaf when I woke up.  Not fun).

Sela