Hello everyone. Thanks so much for your prayers...They are SO needed. Today was not a good day. My dad was taken off the ventilator but he was struggling so they put a different kind of machine to help him....But he was struggling with the tubes...I know how painful it must be...he hasn't been able to close his eyes much and sleep and today my mom and I just watched helplessly....I stayed with my N mom during the day and I stay over night to be with him....I'm tired but mostly emotionally heartbroken....But staying overnight helps reassure my mom and maybe, who knows, my dad might deep down somewhere know I'm there and can be comforted a little.
There may be something in this world that's harder than this...but I sure don't know what it is. I pray that there is hope....I'm sick with heartbreak...but trying to keep things held together at work which is very demanding.....and around the clock hours at the hospital....
I don't understand my brother either....who comes in maybe 3-4 times a week and spends an hour or less.....That's what I never understood...I want to be at the hospital all the time....but he does not....he is just matter of fact about it all....He's planning Thanksgiving dinner and all I can think is that with the mercy of God, I hopefully will be in the hospital spending it by dad's bedside....
It's also sobering because what I realized is that when my time comes to get really sick in a hospital, there will be no one to sit by my bedside...no one to make those hard decisions...no one to hold my hand. This is just real painful.
I'm most grateful for prayers and people who really commit to prayer on my dad's behalf. I'm so grateful for them, you have no idea. So thank you all for your concern and suport.
