Difference in an N and one who is not

[Anonymous]

I found a paragraph on a website today that should help some of us who have wondered if we had inherited our Nmom or dad's disorder:

Yet another thing it is safe to say about the normal children of narcissists is that they have probably picked up bad habits in interacting with others. Outwardly, some of these bad habits appear narcissistic. Yet it is easy to tell the difference between a narcissist and the normal child of one. How? By simply asking him to stop it. The normal child of a narcissist will stop it, and a narcissist will do it all the more.

from a website by Kathleen Krajco

We've seen this behavior a lot lately:

Yet it is easy to tell the difference between a narcissist and the normal child of one. How? By simply asking him to stop it. The normal child of a narcissist will stop it, and a narcissist will do it all the more.

[Firebird]

Too simplistic.

"Hey, child - quit complaining that I'm abusing you."

Child complies = normal, non-narcissistic
Child does not comply = abnormal, narcissistic.

Scary definition as far as I'm concerned.  It's the kind of thinking that allows abuse to become instituionalised.

[Anonymous]

I think the quote refers to an adult child of an N.

I have children and they are all Ns to a certain age.

When the quote is put in context of an adult child of an N, then it makes a lot of sense to me.

[mighty mouse]

I have to agree with the quote. My NPD sister went on an actual rampage of emails, snail mail and phone calls when I asked her to stop contacting me. After about two years of completely ignoring her, she's finally stopped (most of the time - she still likes to bother me at Christmas time). She has done the same at several universitites where she has either been a graduate student or working. She was asked to leave Harvard because she WOULDN'T stop writing to them. This was against her own best interest and she still could not stop.

MM

[Avril]

Makes sense to me.  I'm forever worrying that I'm Nish and turning into my NMother.  My H assures me that I'm not, because I can recognise it and do something about it - it's just learnt, maladaptive behaviour that can be unlearned if you have the awareness and will to do so.
Av

[Anonymous]

I have to agree with this too. My N is bombastic and won't be ignored...much like Alex in Fatal Attraction...scaaaaary. She keeps comin' at cha. And she has absolutely no credibility...she'll say she'll stay away but just can't do it.