Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Finding voicefulness......losing......finding.....practicing..
Meh:
A while ago I made up a character called Miss Do-Do list because she was my control freak part.
Recently I have so much to do that I have let her take over my life. I wonder if she helps me get things done though-- I don't know.
Today: One down and a bazillion left to finish.
Hopalong:
I agree with you about "beautification", MB...
...very treacly term. (But maybe it "has to" be used anyway, no matter.)
You are doing an excellent job, it is absolutely obvious.
Give yourself some mercy while you go.
Some kind pats.
Okay?
Hops
Meh:
Went to my "big important meeting" today with the city planning representatives and business associations, was hoping for more focus and clarity of vision but instead I was shocked that the "plans" seem to be bounding in every direction and growing even though they don't have any money for this project yet. They talked about all their ideas and then the very last second of the meeting they wanted to email me about the grant application....maybe to include all of their wild ideas? I thought the whole meeting should be about how to secure funding.
I'm feeling overwhelm and a bit irritated. That is me because I'm uptight and I like to have a clear plan.
There is a chance that if this is not organized well or targeted it won't get funded at all.
In the end, I suppose I need to let it go, only do my best based on the circumstances at hand as life presents it's self.
There is one "as life presents it's SELF"
I feel like it's chaos and the city groups are really using the arts community for generating more money for business --that is fine that is a part of it but the grant is not going to be compelling if it's about just making more money because the foundation that gives the money likes to give to cultural, arts and social services projects not just greedy business owners. The business owner advocates want the grant to say more about their stuff. I don't know. At first I thought these people know what's going on but then after the meeting I changed my mind that they were all over the place with this weird planning thing. I guess that's what these weird community projects are all about.
I have heard people complain about these types of community projects before because there are too many people stirring the pot.
I just have to wait and see what they forward me.
I have learned a lot already even if this is not a successful project. I'm worried that I could be blamed for it not getting funded because of the application but they have had other projects that didn't get funded.
I feel sad because I invest a lot of myself into projects and jobs or whatever and I want to see something be successful and authentic meaning that it does serve the goals of the grantee.
Today they were adding on things out of the blue "lets add an art cafe" Maybe we will change the whole theme of the project. Blah blah blah....it changes week to week. Do these people even know what they want?
I'm all for brain-storming but this is solid vision time.
Maybe it's my control freak talking here. I'm accustomed to science environments.
These people still have not decided exactly what this project IS. I feel like we should leave the experimentation up to the artists but the organizing planning committee should be organized and should have a plan.
If I was at the foundation reviewing this project, I would like the concept, it is worthy and addresses a community issue --but I would not award the money based on poor planning/organization and lack of vision.
The city and business groups want to use the artists they just don't want the artists to run-a-muck and take over the city or something-----like teenage mutant ninja turtles?
Hopalong:
You are one sharp tack, MB...
I think you're seeing it all perfectly accurately, and that you will get the very most out of this experience if you...
go with it.
Just like you said, go with it as it comes and see what shapes it takes, make your peace with your (valid) criticisms, recognize there's just no way you can control all the parts or all the players, release the outcome, do your best but also have some fun with it.
This is you, shining.
This laboratory is full of the unexpected and you can handle that.
(No WAY they would make you responsible if the funding doesn't happen...what matters is you're doing a champ job giving it .)
Winning it don't matter. Doing it matters, that is ALL.
All you need to be into. The doing.
And you are!
(The rest will take care of itself. This is just a great thing to be doing, regardless.)
GOOD JOB. GOOD, GOOD JOB!
:)
Hops
Meh:
Thank you Hops,
It feels good to hear "good job".
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