Well, my eyes are just puddling away over here!
Thank you all for the wonderful ideas you have written - and it has brought so many buried thoughts bubbling to the surface. I love this Board, for it helps us sort out so much of why we react the way we do to various situations. I am learning so much about myself through you.
This is what I have learned about my boohoos, so far, thanks to you all :
DG, yes, I think I am so accustomed to being invisible and voiceless, that when someone acknowledges me with kindness, or manages to see the 'good' in me, I probably become overwhelmed with emotions.
Avril, I, too, find it hard to let anyone do anything for me, even my kind, dearH.
BT, yes, I am very sensitive - extremely sensitive. When someone is kind, I feel as though they have really seen my soul. I rarely watch movies, because I even cry when there is a happy ending! Good grief.
And Phoenix, maybe my emotional system is having a bit of a blow-out at the moment - what a great expression. I've been having trouble sleeping for months, etc...... must get some little blue tabs!
Nony, you also have a good point - I have only been aware of NPD for a few years, but the depth of the craziness is always unfolding, and I am still on the rollercoaster ride of learning how it has affected the very core of who I am, and I am working so very hard to be strong, healthy and invincible! But sometimes, the whole situation is just tooo much to bear.
Ellie, yes, familiar : I feel like I don't deserve to get kindness.....good one. and I don't know how to take complements. Yes, familiar. Thanks. (I was riding my motorcycle on Sunday, too - it helps, doesn't it?!)
flower, thanks for understanding.
All your voices have helped me understand myself better, and thank you for taking the time to help me. Next time it happens, at least I'll have a better understanding of why, and that in itself will help me grow stronger.
(((( All ))))