Has anyone here homeschooled?

[lighter]

What are your thoughts?

Pro's and con's?

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Hi Lighter!

Yes, we do

Pros - healthy, natural routine, learning at the child's pace, children learning through their own interests rather than dull old text books that drive them mad with boredom, focus on the process rather than the outcome (ie learning about something because they love it rather than having to memorise stuff because there's a test coming up), no bullying, children learning to think for themselves rather than developing a herd mentality, avoidance of peer pressure, lovely quiet museums and galleries because everyone else is in school or work, opportunity to try activities they might not get a chance to otherwise, cheaper travel (because you can go in term time) - there are so many I could probably just keep going on and on!

Cons - other people's negativity!  Potential hassle from local authorities depending on where you live and what the law is.  May have to pay for exams yourself depending on where in the world you are.  Might spend more on books if you don't have a library near you or if your child has an interest in something pretty obscure that no-one else reads much about.  Endless questions about socialising - a lot of people think home education means you keep your children locked up indoors all day with no other comany and they aren't allowed to have any fun - the opposite is true!

It's made me feel so much closer to my son and his confidence and self esteem have soared - and we all know how important that is!

There are some lovely books written by John Holt which are definitely worth a read.  Alice Miller's views on parenting children kindly tie in very well with home ed as well, I found some of her stuff really helpful when I was starting out.  Of course, there are lots of other books but they're the two authors that spring to mind immediately.

[sKePTiKal]

Hi Lighter - I was wondering how you're doing? And then, there's a post! 

Hubs' brother home-schooled his kids... well, more accurately, his wife did. Each state has different regs about what's possible, so that's a good starting point. I worked in higher ed - so I was interested to find out how this worked, too. It seems that it's possible for multiple families to share the work of teaching... someone teaches math, someone else english and writing, that kind of thing, depending on where you are. Older kids can also participate in online courses... another way of connecting kids with other kids and collaborating on projects, etc. There are a lot of online resources available... but not all may be accepted by the state.

I came into contact with home-schooled kids coming into college... and noticed they were "different" than the normal students. Usually their study skills and background knowledge in subject matter were what I'd describe as more mature than their public school peers. They did much higher level work... and weren't afraid of independent thought. And sad to say - in some college classrooms this is actually a detrimental characteristic... some professors take this a personal challenge to their authority on a topic... and that creates difficulty for the student - and unfairness.

I've paid attention to the "social" aspect in my nieces/nephew and the other home-schooled kids, too. I was very curious about whether they'd be more mature, more shy and withdrawn, or how the lack of the public school experience would affect them. I can't speak to how they interact with other children, but they're very comfortable with adults. That said - the one weakness that I've noticed is a lack of experience in handling the adverse situations that occur between people; either one on one or in groups. A lot of the home-schooled kids are less mature emotionally about handling the social, peer pressure aspect of teen groups than the kids who are exposed to this daily in public school. They've not had to defend themselves, you know? Or struggle to be included in groups... liked... And that's just a huge blanket generalization. I'm not even sure I've known enough kids to say that - just that I have been aware of it. I've had to dry enough tears from kids who simply didn't understand that these dynamics are part and parcel of daily life - because they never had to deal with it, at home.

[Meh]

Not me personally but I have relatives who have home schooled their two daughters, they are achieving intellectually about two or three grade levels ahead for their age and they seem to be very cheerful girls. These particular relatives of mine are religious and have very strong moral values so that was a big motivator for home schooling their children, their father was a minister at church and they didn't want their kids overexposed to sex and drugs etc. by peer groups.

The relatives told me that there is a support network for homeschooling in the area where they are at and the homeschooled children have get-togethers and are involved socially in other ways.

[teartracks]

lighter,

I don't have first hand experience.  

I just finished a short biography on Susanna Wesley, mother of John and Charles Wesley.  She birthed 15 children.  I think 9 lived.  It was the 17th century.  She was born, bred, and well educated in London.  She married a pastor.  In modern terms, his work 'landed them in the boonies'.   She taught her children partly because there was no one else to do it in the small villages where they pastored, and partly because she followed a rigorous routine in everything she did and was not about to release her children (especially her daughters) to the uneducated and uncivil outside world.  Problem is, she made no provision for them to be socialized.  The thing that strikes me between her story and comments by others here is that in the end, her daughters in adulthood, all of them I believe,  (the two sons at 12 or so were sent to school in London), were not as prepared as they could have been to navigate life outside the safe haven of home.  The education is better, but the socialization not so good.  But hey, it's like holes in Swiss cheese, if you know they're there, you can fill them with honey!

tt


 

[sKePTiKal]

In addition to organized and more informal "social" networks for home-schoolers... I believe that in some areas, they are invited to local public school events, as well. I'm sure the level of involvement varies a lot. So that original issue with "socialization" is being addressed these days....

... but then that creates a question for me. Is it really better to insulate a child from the "horrors" of public school - real life, in other words... for the perceived benefit of higher scholarship? Will that child have the skills to deal with those things they've been protected from, once they hit college? And what are those skills I'm referring to vaguely? (I'm not sure I can define them).

I'm no fan of public school these days, in general... academically or socially. It's specific things that bother me. There are good ones out there, academically, for sure. I was lucky and blessed, this way - in the days before AP programs, SOL testing, etc. And of course, no one does a headline feature on those schools and what they're doing right... it's always got to be a negative, shocking, sensationally bad story.

But it doesn't have to be an either/or choice. Public school can be a good experience, if a parent becomes an active partner of the teachers. Allowed to reinforce ideas and concepts at home - according to the values at home. Schools shouldn't be selling any particular value or political point of view - that's inappropriate in the academic setting at any level. Some schools/teachers won't permit this partnership, but many will appreciate it. I think it's the way it "should" be... but that's just me. Too often there's a hostile relationship between parents/schools... or a muddying of boundaries/responsibilities... and that's what we hear about more often than not.

[lighter]

I was talking to L's piano teacher.

She received a private school education, up to middle school, where her parents chose to homeschool up to highschool.

They chose private highschool, up to her Senior year, where they switched back to public.

She explained the pros and cons (mostly pros) and explained that making appropriate choices throughout her school career, was best for her.

The cons were to do with teachers punishing her for using her own mind, and being independent.

I'm considering homeschooling for one year, longer if it works very well.

That would free me up to do cool ocean labs, museum trips, all kinds of cool things, while being able to visit friends and relatives, moving around where I feel I need to be while not being tied down to school.

They should move ahead with all the one on one attention, if anything changes.

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Yay, Lighter, go for it!  We've been doing it for three and a half years now and it is just amazing; it's astonishing how much children learn on their own when they're given the freedom to do what they want to (and adults as well, I've learnt far more since I took him out of school).  The freedom is incredible

[sKePTiKal]

The cons were to do with teachers punishing her for using her own mind, and being independent.

This is sad, but true, Lighter. I think you're making a wise choice.... and even better, staying flexible about the future makes sense, too.

[lighter]

You guys were supposed to say (what you said,) ALONG with stuff about taking the girls out of their very stable routine.

You were supposed to tell me the girls would lose basic socialization, and that I'm not able to teach basic grammar,much less the new 5th grade math, for heaven's sake!; )

Hey, thanks for all the support.  I would be all over you guys, with questions and such, if I actually made this leap.

You know that, right?

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Lighter, here in the UK the two biggest myths about home ed are to do with stable routines and socialising.  You can create your own routine.  Because my son has health problems ours is very fluid and fits around what he can and can't do at the time, but for us that is 'stable', if you know what I mean?  He doesn't sleep too well, so sometimes by 10 am we've done a couple of hours reading, made some biscuits and cakes, done a bit of paintng, couple of things on the computer, been out for a walk - you get the idea.  A lot of people I know spend two hours a day on the whole getting ready and getting to school (and then home again) thing.  Imagine how much you can get done in two hours of study - all in the time that some people take just getting to and from school.

You can do structured courses on-line if you feel more comfortable doing that, you can buy complete study packs, pick and choose bits from the syllabus or turn the whole lot on it's head and just do it as it comes.  You can spend two months solid learning all about Greece or you can do a bit of lots of things every day.  There's so much choice and I bet your girls will love to be given some responsibility when it comes to figuring out what to do and how to do it.

With regards to socialising - my son currently goes to after school club three days a week and holiday club for full days through each holiday, apart from Christmas.  He goes to football training, gymnastics, karate and disability sports on a weekly basis, attends a local craft group once a month and I'm currently looking into art classes, sailing, horse riding and golf.  That's on top of the usual play dates, trips to the park, meeting up with friends and playing outside with the neighbours.  And this is an autistic boy who, four years ago couldn't look at anyone and couldn't say his own name.

It's not the same for everyone, obviously, and it depends what sort of place you live and how many things you are near to but honestly, it's opened up a whole new world for him (and me too).  There are probably home ed groups in your area as well so you can get together with other families, although I guess that depends how rural you are?  Also bear in mind how small the internet has made the world - your girls can contact other home ed children on-line, a lot of groups do pen-friends and that sort of thing.  There's masses out there once you get looking at it - probably too much, to be honest!  It can be a bit over whelming at the start, like anything I suppose?

[Twoapenny]

I just remembered something which I took as a sign when it happened!  I was thinking about doing it, thought I probably would but hadn't quite decided.  We went into our local charity shop (yes, me in the charity shop again), and there was obviously another home ed family in the area because a huge box had come in that morning, full of all the resources and books we would need to get going with it all.  They'd literally dropped it off about twenty minutes earlier.  I bought the whole lot of ten pounds and literally didn't need to buy anything else for the first two years.  I took that as a good omen!

[lighter]

Well, Tupp.....

I was just looking over the necessary (used) choices I'd need to make for curriculum.

The idea of joining in computer courses sounds very good too.

I like the fact that you have your routine, based on your son's best interest, and not on a school's schedule for the masses.

Lighter

[cgm1028]

I never thought that kids became socialized sitting in a classroom.  That comes from interaction during recess, after-school clubs, playing team sports and there are plenty of those types of activities available to a home-schooled child.

I think the bottom line is as parents we know our kids, if you feel the best thing to do is to home-school, then there's your answer.

Good luck 

[lighter]

::scribbling down names of books::

I have 3 weeks to decide if I'll homeschool, or not.  At least, I have 3 weeks till the school tuition downpayment is no longer refundable. 

I'm going to read read read those books, and really assess my options.

The girls are rising 3rd and 5th graders, CB, and both play instruments. 

We love books on tape, leggos and electric circuit sets.... yard work.  Planting things.  Much fun.

Both children are social creatures, engaged in karate 4X a week (love love love), and we have BIG library trips on a regular basis, all reading happily at this point.

Church and choir have always been enjoyable outside activities for the girls..... the basketball, soccer and softball..... not so much.

I like what you, CB and Tupp, have to say about your homeschooling experiences.

What math program are you using Tupp?

Lighter