Conflict over nothing or something

[Meh]

She's not got much experience with people who do not accept that others have the same rights that some people ascribe to themselves - and only themselves. That usually requires more than a simple NO to deal with it.

[Meh]

BLEH!!!!  

Let this Narcissistic Twit take her cracked marbles, go home, and leave you and your garden in peace!!!!

Bones

Ha Ha Ha, Well the thing is that she is not going to go away completely and I am not invested deeply in this, it's a temporary seasonal experience maybe.

Other thing is I probably avoid some community activities for this reason.

I get tired of how certain personalities make themselves so difficult that no-one else in a community will take them on.

The fact that she is the coordinator and she is not volunteering to go out there with me and weed the yucky areas but she will complain that I am doing too much is really more about a kid not wanting to share.

Litterally I think it's more of a "she's playing with my toy".

Anyways I need to get my hands back on the original contract I signed. So if the issue ever arises again we can debate the sheet of paper rather then debating each other's existence on the planet!!

[sKePTiKal]

Rock on, Boat.... Rock on.

[Gaining Strength]

I'm so impressed Boat that you are in there working it out with the garden witch and your stuff.

"I'm hypersensitive to this because my FOO was so controlling over me that now when I'm around a controlling person I can't just nod. I don't know how to do that or want to do that. Dominating people trigger me."

This is where I get into trouble - when I am triggered.  I haven't gotten to a place where I can separate my visceral reaction from childhood triggers from visceral reactions to contemporary triggers.

It sounds to me as though you are making great space between this aggressive woman and your own self interest - differentiating her "stuff" and the stuff of your FOO.  That sounds so good to me.  I look forward to doing that too.

I spend a number of years working with a local organization that had the establishment of community gardens as our goal.  I know that we would have loved to have people come and do the planting and nurturing that you are doing.  But then you have already identified that  this woman's issues have little to do with gardening and that is precisely why it is so difficult and triggering.  It is all that other stuff.

One day late last week I was noticing that I am drawn to people who clearly have some kind of struggle in their life.  I usually communicate well with them and can quickly develop a repor but when it comes to people who are self-satisfied and judgmental and full of themselves - the triggering starts and something dark bubbles up within.

I want to be in your corner of the garden.  Getting beyond reacting to garden kong will be a great achievement and part of the healing journey.

[BonesMS]

BLEH!!!!  

Let this Narcissistic Twit take her cracked marbles, go home, and leave you and your garden in peace!!!!

Bones

Ha Ha Ha, Well the thing is that she is not going to go away completely and I am not invested deeply in this, it's a temporary seasonal experience maybe.

Other thing is I probably avoid some community activities for this reason.

I get tired of how certain personalities make themselves so difficult that no-one else in a community will take them on.

The fact that she is the coordinator and she is not volunteering to go out there with me and weed the yucky areas but she will complain that I am doing too much is really more about a kid not wanting to share.

Litterally I think it's more of a "she's playing with my toy".

Anyways I need to get my hands back on the original contract I signed. So if the issue ever arises again we can debate the sheet of paper rather then debating each other's existence on the planet!!

Sounds like a plan!