are some immune to N behavior? and who?

[Ales2]

Are there some people who are immune to the Narcissists behavior? And, what kind of people are they?

I ask because I see lots on Ns in successful jobs and marriages and wonder who can stay in close contact with them w/o being hurt. In some of these cases, there seem to be casualties on the periphery, (say a daughter, but the other kid is fine, and the wife seems OK) and the Ns seem largely functional and have many, many friends. How is that possible?

My guess of the kind of person who could be involved with an N w/o being hurt would be people with good boundaries, are not people pleasers/approval addicts that get sucked in by the power that some Ns give off. Am I close?

[Ales2]

Read Dr. Gs article about why some people repetitively get sucked into Ns - its not that they are masochists, bur they are trying to heal their voicelessness through approval.

Funny thing is I was approached by someone over the weekend to write a TV show for them. Only, I have given up partnerships b/c previous experiences have resulted in destructive partnerships where things are not completed and not taken to market. And, now I do not have development capital available to me. Its essentially working for free and I probably need to say NO, in favor or more immediate income and employment.  But it occurs to me that I wanted to take it, do it and ask for a written recommendation, since I know it would never get off the ground. Thats the people pleaser in me that sacrifices a possibly financially rewarding project in favor of "approval".    No wonder my career and finances are in shambles.

[Guest]

I guess some people have exceptionally strong boundaries, senses of self etc etc that they are 'immune': however, judging by the people who are elected to office, to run corporations etc, there aren't many people who are immune. Otherwise the world would be a better place, I think.

An ex-boss asked me to work for free once, on a project that was day-to-day work for the company he worked for. I said no in several ways and never spoke to him again. And I'm pleased with that outcome. What a jerk.

[debkor]

Hi Ales,

Yes I think I am immune.  Quick::  I stepped on a rake for stone work and it went right through my foot. It hit everything to hit and straight up through my two toes.
I was treated in the hospital.  I have no break or chip and I'm on med due to high risk injury (infection

N friend heard of injury.  What happened to your foot?  I start to tell and she stops me...Bet I'm worse off. 

This weekend there was a bbq in the neighborhood (friends).  N friend is invited.  She stops by my house with a gift.  A pair of flip flops.  It was a nice thought and thank you
I can't wear them for awhile.  She looks at my foot, cocks her head, and give the smile of ..Are you kidding me (like I had no injury). 

I was asked into T by N friend one time (when she went but it didn't last).  In T every session and a few times said ..she made it a point of telling the T ...I have no female friends.  I only have male friends. 

[debkor]

Whoops sorry hit enter.  Then computer went crazy.  Toes are hurting.  Became very tired.

I don't want to confuse you because I confused myself when I started to type.  There are things I want to tell about T with N friend and female to female ...her, her mother and me, T, and her father.  It didn't belong on this but I was writing before I was thinking it out (including my injury) that I'm worried about (it's showing it may have complications) Ugh!   I must sounds nuts.   

I'm sorry Ales I went off track or started off track.

But No I don't think you can have involved/close contact with N (boundaries) w/o hurt.  You can have close contact (boundaries in steel) w/o hurt but (Involved) Your going to be the only one that is ..(ouch)!  gonna hurt. 

Deb