Nboss issue

[sKePTiKal]

YUCK. If I were you, I'd make it make it easier for him to meet with you in the office and impossible somewhere else. At least it's familiar territory - even if it's still the same slime from him. Tiny little concession after tiny little concession... I kept trying to give myself some necessary control over environment, terms of engagement, etc... until it stopped bothering me more than being an irritation, to have to speak with and deal with my Nboss.

I do know what a toll this takes on you, having done the same for 10 years. I do know you'll leap, when the opportunity really does knock, to get away from him. For your sake, I hope it's sooner rather than later. A HUGE weight lifted from me when I didn't have to deal with my Nboss anymore and the overwhelming sense of being the captain of my own boat insured that he'd never have a chance to beg, plead or wheedle anything else from me... the very day I loaded the last of my personal stuff in the jeep.

I think I literally danced in the parking lot.

[Hopalong]

Nboss, like any guru, always plots to say the demeaning and controlling things and do his best manipulations off-site.
I cannot refuse that location without red-flagging him we are now openly opponents, however. Would not be smart.
Best to go choke on my salad and just get through it.

He's always done reviews the same way....takes you off to lunch and "bears down" with sparkly N-vibes. Bleahh.
He's REALLY focused then on reading your radar, to see if you're still "in the fold". I'm a fairly decent actress and
don't think he'll be firing me. He's actually taking me along to a meeting with an advisory group, continually pulls
me into strategic decisions. (Just won't put me on the board with the men. Actually relies more on my judgment
than his own in many instances. The keeping-his-boot-on-my-head thing is just his sexism game, and Ngame. But
I don't think he'll get rid of the person who's so publically built his brand--and wealth). Hope I'm right, nothing's certain.

For one thing? Dirty thing to say -- but he knows I can be very brave and ALSO that I can write up a storm.
If he pushes me too far, I may yield to some letter-writing that for now, I am not doing. Maybe there's some piece
of "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" kind of thing going on here. Or maybe his radar doesn't extend
to the possibility that at some point, somebody would fight back. I prefer to avoid that though, no joy in battling.

Your declarations that 1) I'll leap and 2) which #1 depends on, that opportunity will knock....are very optimistic!
(I am not in a position to leap for anything speculative and as I mentioned, I'm a white-haired person in a town
full of fierce educated competition. I am not willing to uproot and leave the community that keeps me sane, so
my options are seriously limited. The larger economy plus ageism are large factors in my situation, plus of course,
the estate/housing in limbo. So...I'm trying not to do positive self-talk unless it's strictly rooted in reality.

When I thought the house had sold, I learned from looking for housing what an unemployed or underemployed
older single person's options are going to be. Not a pretty pic. So I can't be careless about risking my job. There's
no brilliant strategic stuff that will enable me to "get the best" of this N, or "prove him wrong" or be "validated." For
now, there's only survival.

I'll retire this post for now as if I keep on it it will fuel some unhealthy obsessing on my part but it was good to vent about recent events.
I'm sure I'll create a new post on work stuff at some point, count on it!

thanks for the support, PR-- and everyone--

xo,
Hops