So, once upon a time a supervisor (in graphic design/public relations) told me that while I express myself really, really well, I don't communicate well. It stuck in my craw (what with 2 degrees that are all about communication)... and it's applicable here, because in the public section of FB I pretty much don't exist. There is nothing in my profile that personally identifies me... except the schools I attended. I tend to use the private message function of FB to actually keep in touch (one on one) with folks that I really care about - my D's, hubs' sibs, other relatives and those "long lost 5th grade friends" that drug me back to FB, after I thought I was done with it.
We used FB and Twitter to post updates when MIL was in the hospital, with her last stroke. It was easier than all four of us, talking to Aunt Sue at different times, and even perhaps saying different things. It was a one to many "push" of info that kept everyone informed of the situation... but also allowed the rest of us to focus on MIL and each other for support, that dreadful, exhausting week. FB eliminated geography and timezones... or at least levelled the difficulty of those. Both my D's live in two different states from me. I use FB to simply watch what and how they're doing - without being a nosy mom. We also send a lot of private messages this way. Sometimes we play together like this, too. When one D went AWOL and disappeared on me, because she wasn't able to phone me, after I'd missed one of those - PLEASE HELP MOM phone messages - I was able to find out what happened and get in touch with someone closer to her... through FB.
In my university online ed job, I found myself involved with FB that first year that it spread like wildfire. A bunch o' tech admins from other schools made a group in FB during a big software conference so we could share session info amongst ourselves and discuss. There was little chance to really just hobnob and informally talk with people... yet that's where the best brainstorming and ideas came from - so we tried doing it online. I already knew better than to expect my profile to be a private thing; I only filled in "required" info... and much of that was already publicly available on the school's website. In reality, we didn't use it that much... and I forgot about the app for a year or two, until they released a plugin that would "push" announcements, assignments and grades to a student's FB page. We delayed installing it for a couple of months, as we discussed the network security... the privacy... and the possible glitches because grades aren't even available to parents online - by law. We had to know they were secure, before activating it.
I have a love/hate relationship with technology. While I'm fascinated with the lego-like architecture behind the pretty web pages and can get totally immersed in that aspect of it... I'm also interested in the "usability" of web page design and how information is presented and what information is presented. How do people interact with the tool, in other words. Does pretty and hierarchal design help people figure out how to use the tool better than something that's merely utilitarian? After 10+ years teaching people (mostly adults) how to use tech tools I also got interested in how the tech shaped the way people thought about their task - versus the "old-fashioned" method. And how dependent people became on the web tool's ability to "think" for them... their panic when the tool didn't work as advertised... where the disconnect was... and the whole emotional side of technology - y'all have been there a time or two, I'll bet. When you wanted to chuck the monitor through a window - for one reason or another...
and now social science is beginning to think about these things. OK - I'm hooked!
I've just recently read a few things that are starting to explore this area. How the concept of "friend" is changing... conformity vs individualism... about the "branding" or marketing of ourselves for acceptance (which has to be as old as the hills, this is just a new way to do it)... and even asking myself WHY I'm so reluctant to be my "self" out in FB-land and take pains to hide in plain sight, unless I have something supportive or funny to say... while here, I'm the proverbial "chatty cathy".
The idea that's floating around is that FB's "like" button IS a feedback loop and through this loop, people are subtly conforming... developing a new group-think-value system instead of thinking things through themselves; perhaps only liking part of the post. Does "liking" indicate approval or validation? Hmmm.... another feedback loop, eh? Why would I "friend" a store or a shop or cause? do I really want to interact with them so intimately online? (and aren't they already buying my online usage data from Google or someone else??)
And my biggest issue, I think, is with the concept that software can predict me. What I'll want to read (Amazon)... or who I want to "friend" (FB). I was an early adopter at Amazon too - so they're still recommending the 2011 Artist's Market book to me; the last one I bought was back in 2004 or 05. This year, I'm reading a lot of neuroscience stuff and literary fiction... next year, it might be dead reckoning navigation on the ocean - who knows??? Or economics for dummies... Or governmental theory... or the psychology of government... or well.... you get the idea. I might even read the The Black Stallion series again. I've never read the Winnie the Pooh books, either.
My point being... a.) I don't WANT software to try to think for me. I turn off auto-completes, auto-spellcheck, and auto-grammer fixes right after I install word processing software. I express myself and communicate the way I want to; the software is supposed to do what I tell it to.
b.) I don't think I want to be the center of attention to the whole wide inter-web world. I had some experience with being the "goddess" of my software system at school - and typically, it made me feel I wanted to run away from campus screaming to people to just leave me alone .... Groupies bother me, too. I delete all friend requests in FB from people I don't know IRL (in real life). And even if I do recognize the name - if I don't remember anything about them... nope; ain't goin' there. I just don't want to be pinned down by all those expectations of me. How can I have a life, if so many people have a claim on me and my time?
Example: the 5th grade friend who got in touch with me through FB, took me to task for being "too quiet" and not plastering the site with pictures, personal info about me, and idle chit-chat. His specialty is politics... and I definitely don't talk politics or religion "out there". In fact, he actually jumped me with a both-feet criticism, when I did venture to bring up a point that wasn't part of his political orthodoxy.
He can't discuss something that doesn't agree with his point of view. He can only invalidate it.And to a degree, I think FB in particular, encourages this kind of herd mentality. There's a feedback loop to find a bunch of people who validate you and your way of thinking - hey! they're just like me. And dissenters or people who think/feel differently are sent to seek their "own kind"... their own herd. There's no in-depth, ongoing discussion - of all viewpoints. So it's a shallow pool, yes. It's also really, really biased and promotes the "us" vs "them" idea... and that's even before we get into cyberbullying, trolls, online stalkers, flame wars... sigh. I've been through my share of those, too. I like hearing/reading about other points of view. That makes me weird and strange in the online universe, I guess. Maybe in 3-D, too. But it's who I am...
So... what happens to "accountability" on the web? Given that, over time, our views and thoughts and feelings all change... if something is archived on backup tape... one "said" it... and right or wrong, it becomes a digital arti-FACT. Does that truly define one's online personality? If one's 3-D personality changes, how does one explain - that's who I used to be? Is it really appropriate for that level of private personal self to be shared -- in public? Isn't one taking a huge risk of being hugely invalidated by people one barely knows... or that we, as a society, begin "accepting" behavior or thoughts that previously were "socially unacceptable"?
I don't think that's the fault of the technology or the tool. It's mere human nature expressed in another medium, rather than face to face. In some ways, the tech reflects a bit of what's going on IRL (in real life)... and can be studied as a microcosm of the larger social trends. I'm not sure we're always going to like what we find, as we study it, though.
That said - VESMB is an online environment. I wonder how many posts have expressed gratitude that finally, they found a place and people that "get it"? It is a place that helps a person develop positive feedback loops; provides validation and acceptance and belonging (IMO). It's also a grand, successful experiment in being able to help people - peer support - group therapy - in the online environment. What are the differences between VESMB and FB? Other than, I know I'm not taking the risk of being torn to pieces by wild, invalidating cyber-dogs if I post a not-necessarily popular opinion? We argue different points of view here - sometimes passionately - and maybe that's another skill we needed to develop; arguing our point of view without being savage - or being savaged. I don't take that risk often or in anything other than a minor way out on FB. That's like walking into a seedy, rough bar just at closing time - I have to expect what exists there, you know? I can just walk past it, too.
Hops: I only saw the movie Social Network, in the last month or so. I intensely dislike the Zuckerman in that film. I've not been able to pinpoint the reason why. Some of my "best friends" have been genius programmers! (LOL...) I think the underlying dislike rests on the characteristic that this person believes he can "change the world" and that he is wise enough to know how best to do that. Sorry, I'm skeptical about that! Especially, when every time his software goes through an upgrade I have to reset all my privacy settings again. DUH... that's easy to avoid in the programming (even Microsoft's figured it out...), so I have to assume that part of this "change the world" scenario requires that we share everything about ourselves with everyone and if one chooses to be more private or anonymous in FB... they're going to over-ride your decision.
It also bothers me that one can't delete an account. I first ran into this trying to close a web-mail account. I argued for 30 minutes with tech support, who insisted that they could only disable the account. I told him I knew he could delete the account record in the user database... and that's exactly what I wanted. Same thing happens in FB; when I tried to delete my account it was simply disabled; archived... and a couple years later, way too easy for me (or someone impersonating me) to re-activate it.
That's dangerous, in the tech world.
