bulimia question

[river]

Thanks tt.

Hounti,
Do you mean the same people were shareing the same problems?   oh DEAR!   I've seen that happen, but I've also seen people get well, or much weller in the fellowhips.  Actually, there are interesting developments in the fellowships, such as the HOW programme, and theres the primary purpose buch, and many more variations on a theme, and thers RA.(recovery anonymous for anone with anything, and thier dog).   But really, I have great respect for the basic 12 step/ fellowship approach.  Like everything I found I had to use my own judgement and keep searching.  I never stayed long with CODA. Ahh, why am I saying all this? Not sure, but I enjoy talking with you.  
 I have a friend who was in OA, primary purpose she did benefit, but left eventaully, too dognmatic/ rigid was the reason.  So we started doing some fellowship work together with an added focus of recovery on what we're calling 'the Real Self', which has a focus on creativigy, and flexibility, and thinking for oneself etc, rather than being a herd-hider, the basic good human qualities and aims of recovery.  
This has been helpful I am finding this helpful.  
Rivs.  x
ps re the Real Self here:  http://www.selfinexile.com/the_Real_Self.html

[Nonameanymore]

Thanks Rivs, I enjoy talking with you too.  

Yes, Coda, same people, same issues. Transference too - from parent to sponsor and so on.

I've been having some strange insights after the workshop we did at the end of July. Today's insight is that the road to recovery is lonely and not everyone wants to be/is ready for the true recovery which for me is the 'I've had it living this way, I want a better life and I am going to work to achieve this/do something about it/be proactive/take action'. No more wishful thinking.  Lonely but not in isolation but nevertheless since there are stages and shades of recovery, I am struggling at the moment. Today in fact not in general.

I am working on toning down all judgement so I will close here. It's not 'you' (people around me at the moment), it's me.

 

xxxx
(thank for the site suggestion, you did in fact recommend it before and I had a look around, interesting)

ps. I am starting to believe that by helping, sometimes I enable... Just a thought I wanted to share

[river]

Its as if you and I are on opposite swings of the pendulum.  
My most recent insight is the quote on P.77 of the AA Big Book, that says something like            'at the minute we are trying to put our lives in order.  But this is not an end in itself, our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and to the people about us .   If it sounds old fashioned, it was writen in the 1930s, but still many get well using this principle.   The key word is ....  to fit ourselves  , which I understand to mean we have to gather the wisdom, in this case, to know when helping is helping and when it is enabling, as well as many other complex and delicate areas of life.  

[Nonameanymore]

One of my favourites quotes is this:

People’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group. … Your life experience will never far exceed the expectations of your peers, because to stay connected to them there is an unconscious contract that says we’re going to be within this range of each other. Now, on the other hand, if for some reason your friends have a higher expectation for life than you do, just to stay on the team you’ve got to raise your standard. And that's the beauty of life.

[Meh]

Hountini:

Where is the quote excerpted from?

[Nonameanymore]

Anthony Robbins