Just want to moan, sorry all, not doing it for a response just want to get it off my chest!
I so want a normal family - not perfect, not impecabbly flawless, just ordinary. My neice just had her first baby. Is it a time of joy, celebration, togetherness, family values? No, it's two days of melodrama, hysterics, silent treatment, with-holding information. Eventually I switched my phone off, now I'm hiding in the house until my head clears and I can cope again. I've been on my own (ie not in a male/female relationship) for ten years now. I have been NC for 4. I have cut out a lot of the dead wood from my life and mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I am healthier. But I'm so lonely, and feel so alone. I do try and be sociable but it's different, you know, when you don't have that nest, that safety of your mum's kitchen or dad's workshed or your big sister's bedroom. When there's no drama I can balance it all, I can make it work and I cope, day to day. But when something happens - something that for most people would mean cards and flowers, not drama and hysteria, I find it so much harder to keep telling myself it's all okay and it will get better. I guess that's normal - normality in an abnormal situation. Jeeze. Thanks for reading. Hope everyone is doing okay xxxxx